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Showing posts with label weird stuff online. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weird stuff online. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Be Unlike the Squirrel, Girl

The three most inappropriate memorials posted on the site of Sugar Bush Squirrel, rising internet star and allegedly the “most-photographed squirrel” in the world:

Michael Jackson


Benazir Bhutto


Natalee Holloway (with accompanying graphic of Sugar Bush Squirrel continuing the search for her a human jawbone found in Aruba proved not to be hers)


Their baffling inappropriateness aside, I must say that that a lot of care went into these little dioramas. How do you get a squirrel to wear a headdress?

Finally, one that is not disrespectful or distasteful, exactly, but which makes less and less sense the more you look at it: the Sarah Palin squirrel.


Do check out the website for more of pop culture more of pop culture’s biggest recent moments rendered as only the medium of posed squirrel photography. It’s sort of like a more up-to-date “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” only less annoying and more telling of the person who composed it.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I Love You, Sophie Tucker

I was recently advised to read the story of Sophie Tucker, who survived being lost at sea. If you like, you can read the complete story by clicking this link to the Sydney Morning Herald, but I understand that this workaday world has you running to conferences, selling stocks and attending three-martini lunches, so I’ll also summarize this purportedly amazing tale here. In short, Sophie fell overboard off the coast of northern Queensland in November. While her family assumed she had died, Sophie actually swam five nautical miles to St. Bees Island, whereupon she survived by eating baby goats. Rangers eventually found her and ferried her back to the mainland, a little skinny and a little scared but all in all quite pleased to be reunited with her loved ones.

Sophie Tucker, by the way, is a dog.

Truly amazing, huh? And absolutely incredible?

I felt compelled to note this story because it actually left me with more questions than stirrings of hope. Foremost, why the hell is the dog named Sophie Tucker? Her owner is identified as being Jan Griffith. Why anyone would give their pet a full name with a last name different than their one is beyond me — my hamster Mrs. Leonard Panaggio notwithstanding — but it’s especially a head-scratcher when the name happens to be shared by a celebrity who seems like an unlikely canine namesake: the Russian-American vaudeville entertainer Sophie Tucker, perhaps best remembered for her hit song “My Yiddishe Momme.” And it goes without saying that were it actually this older Sophie Tucker who swam five nautical miles and then feasted on goat flesh, the story would a hundred times better.

On the subject of curious names, I’m also bothered by the fact that Sophie Tucker (the dog) ended up in a location named St. Bees Island, which seems to be populated mostly by baby goats (based on the news article) and koalas (based on this link) and not bees (based on the fact that it’s really hard to Google “bees on St. Bees”). It’s not the possessive St. Bee’s Island but the curious plural St. Bees Island, as if the bees themselves were sainted. I’m baffled. This kind of name is how an author creating a fictional universe would make fun of Catholics and their tendency to make saints out of anything and everything. Even reading the explanation for the name — the island takes its name from a British village whose name, in turn, is a corruption of that of the Norse way of referring to Saint Bega — doesn’t solve my problem, mostly because this means that one place had to have the nonsensical name before it was then assigned to a second, more recently discovered place, even though it should have occurred to someone at some point that the notion of holy bees is a bit odd.

Finally, names aside, there’s the story itself. I guess it’s interesting that she ultimately was reunited with her family, but I would have been a lot more amazed if Sophie Tucker managed to find her way home on her own instead of just hanging out on ol’ St. Bees and eating baby goats, which for all we know she would have been quite happy to continue doing if the rangers had not nabbed her. They thought she was a wild dog, the article notes. “Ms Griffith said she and her husband had contacted rangers after friends suggested the dog — who had earned a name for herself on the island — might be their long-lost pet,” the story notes, oddly recalling the fact that the dog in question actually had a first and last name already. But she did make it and the owner was there to appreciate the dog’s reaction to being returned home, which she sums up with this: “She wriggled around like a mad thing.” Again, a strange choice of words, on her part and the part of the writer who decided that this, of all quotes, was the one to make it into the final draft of the story.

In all, I am a sucker for a good Incredible Journey story, yet in this case I don’t know how I was supposed to feel. I suppose I’m fairly certain that I’m all question marks and ellipses.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Quick Lesson in Antonyms

I’ve been working for the past few weeks on a story regarding the food served in Santa Barbara public school lunchrooms. Someone recommended I visit the official website of a program that focuses on the need to get kids into shape and eating healthy: California Project Lean.

When I type in the URL I was given, however, I get a total absence of a website. Literally: It’s a complete blank page except for a single Times New Roman-font word in the upper left corner: “Success.”

No, Project Lean, this is not success. This is unequivocal failure. This is either the worst error page ever or the most ironic and therefore the best ever.

Try for yourself: http://californiaprojectlean.org.

There's a Handsome Guy Inside This Comic

Because you said that one time that you’d like a-ha’s “Take on Me” more if the song was re-written to narrate the video, right?



Because they made that.

And let’s give a hand to the unforgettable Bunty Bailey, who truly shined in the role of The Girl Who Reads Comic Books in Diners, For Some Reason, And Then Went Into a Comic But Later Came Out. Really, they should have just called the song that to begin with.

(via Boing Boing)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Fifty Years of Sucking

You may remember a post earlier this month in which I had reason to mention Chupa Chups, those lollipops that came into fashion in the United States in the 90s, not-so-coincidentally around the same time as the rise of rave culture, when young people clad in day-glo suddenly had reason to protect themselves from the dangers of jaw-grinding. Spencer directed me to the official site of the Spanish lolly company, with the recommendation to sit through the flash intro. I was not disappointed.

The current Chupa Chups site celebrates the brand’s fiftieth anniversary. Along with the strange slogan “Fifty years of moving your world” — apparently in and out of your mouth in a rhythmic, sucking motion, it would seem — the site also includes a retrospective of world events, both historical and pop cultural, and all styled with a lollipop theme. It’s aesthetically pleasing for what it is.

Here, for example is a shout out to the “Lolling Stones.”


And here’s a reference to Forrest Gump, racing past a White House inhabited by a giant, dark-haired Bill Clinton, who, notably, is the only politician depicted in a sequence that appears on all of the various language versions of the site.


Here are grotesque, finger puppet-like depictions of The Spice Girls, who, if I remember correctly, had some sort of advertising thing going with Chupa Chups for a period.


And, just past the DNA helix comprised of lollipops, is something close enough to Harry Potter but unlike him enough that the wrath of J.K. Rowling won’t fall upon Perfetti Van Melle, of which Chupa Chups is a subsidiary.


But what easily stand out most in the fifty-year flashback is the transition from the assassination of John Lennon to the introduction of Pac-Man. Yes, that’s right: Some Flash programmer charged with looking at history through the lens of candy saw fit to recall the fact that John Lennon was shot to death. It’s odd and jarring, at least to my eyes.

Here, oddly comprising the bulk of the sequence’s notice of the 70s, is the cartoon hippie, looking a lot like a hybrid between a Simpsons character and a South Park character and waving cheerfully in front of a peace sign. He doesn’t necessarily look just like Lennon — the Mick Jagger stand-in bears a closer resemblance — but it could easily be him. I mean, look at those glasses. Also, the fact that he’s showing up just at the end of the 70s instead of in the 60s, where a generic hippie would make more sense, makes me think this is indeed Lennon.


But what’s that? Oh! There’s a little gun pointing at our pseudo-Lennon!


The gun doesn’t fire a bullet — only a “bang” flag. The hippie, however, disappears, to be replaced immediately by a Pac-Man ghost version of him.


And then, of course, the next historical landmark we hit is indeed Pac-Man, which actually debuted in Japan a few months before Lennon died.


Strange, no? And a little tasteless? I suppose it would have been better had the sequence recalled other downer moments between 1958 and 2008 — and there were a few, I feel — but it just included this one.

Check out the site for yourself. It’s amusing. And appalling. And perhaps you haven’t yet been simultaneously amused and appalled today. Crank up your speakers, too, because you won’t grasp the full effect without the musical accompaniment. It’s grating, but it’s actually a lot more tolerable than “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

Two other times I paid too much attention to web promotions:

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Ducto Redux

I was surprised as anyone to find that Ducto, the Chair of Tomorrow, was featured on Pixcetera's list of Amazing Uses for Duct Tape.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Sanity Melts Like Lemon Drops

I like whippets. And I like any animal made to exhibit human qualities. "Like," however, doesn't get anywhere near my thoughts on the below video of a whippet eerily singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."



I can only hope the the person who made this did so specifically to disturb the people tricked into watching it and not because he or she actually thought the above video would actually induce happiness. Now it's your problem, I suppose. Let's cross our fingers and hope that the dreams that we dare to dream do not, in fact, come true.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Fart Date

Apparently my old roommate Tristan lets the Washington Post write about dates he goes on with legislative assistants who are one year older than he is.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Dinnertime Vainly

Speaking of Dina, she recently sent me something that made for an amusing few clicks: The Eater of Meaning, a little application that takes text and effectively renders it into nonsense. See for yourself: Back of the Cereal Box, with meaning completely masticated beyond recognition.

There’s also a few other flavors of nonsense you can pick from.
While we're on the subject, Dina also deserves credit for sending me an entirely different sort of what-the-fuck last week: thew news about the father of SNL alum Cheri Oteri having been stabbed to death by his country music songwriter roommate. Very odd.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Stand Up for Anteater Rights

Both members of Brooklyn-based power couple Sanaemon saw fit to give me a heads-up about notable online anteater goings-on of the past few days. The male half did so with the explanation "anteaters blowing up on reddit.com." Not literally.

Notable cyberanteater unit one (a.k.a. "fuck you" anteater):


And notable cyberanteater unit two, (a.k.a. "anteaters in sweaters" and courtesy of theinternetisterribel.com):


Sanam and Aemon, in case you wanted to know, live in Brownstone that reportedly looks just like the Cosby house — which would make sense, seeing as how they are raising two scene-stealing moppets named Rudy and Olivia, respectively. (Eldest daughter Sondra moved out.)

Monday, December 17, 2007

No One to Say Meow

I found this image whilst doing a Google image search for my website. I’m not sure why this showed up. And I’m not sure what it is.


But I’m creeped out regardless. I found it here. It originally showed up somewhere here. The natural explanation, of course, would involve some form of Photoshoppery, but that's no fun now, is it?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Beautiful Arms Showing From Your Summer Dress

She's a real-life gymnast, who competed in the 2005 World Rhythmic Gymnastics Championships. She's also the star of the below video, which is technically titled "Mariko Takahashi's Fitness Video For Being Appraised as an 'Ex-fat Girl,'" but is more popularly known in the world of memery as "Poodle Fitness." Needless to say, it's way weird.


From Wikipedia: "[Director] Nagi Noda, in her artist's statement, explained that she arrived at the poodle concept after noticing that the dogs' hair cuts resembled muscles. She believed that this concept would help her video appeal to people of all ages." Of course!

[ Source: PCL LinkDump ]

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Spatula Disaster

From Nate, proof that wherever you work could be a zillion times lamer.


Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, eat your heart out. And yes, the Longaberger Company does, in fact, make baskets.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Starting on the Right Foot

I never thought I'd be such a fan of a blog titled "El Toilet," but it really keeps delivering the goods. Die Wunderkammer lives on.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The Monster Squad (Steampunk Version)

Hello!


This cheerful-looking lass says hi and that you should check out this kick-ass website, The Fantastic in Art and Fiction. It's a compendium of illustrations from vintage books that Cornell has put together in order to add to online academic resources and spruce up your invitations to next year's Halloween party. It's even arranged into nifty — but nonetheless macabre — categories like Weird Science or Freaks Monsters and Prodigies in order to make sure you get to see the horrifying thing you're looking for all the more quickly.

[ Source: Little Hokum Rag ]

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Homoerotic Mario Ballet

To be honest, I'm not even sure these two are supposed to be Mario and Luigi, though I suppose it's not much stranger than any other twist the Mario series has suffered in the transition from video game to performance art.



Also odd: As the comments on the Go Nintendo post for this video note, the "princess" looks suspiciously like Lara Croft.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Sweetie, Take it Hot

It was found inadvertantly.



And then another was found.



And a third, easily the best of the bunch.


Friday, March 16, 2007

The Warios

This cover for +N, a Swedish gaming magazine, has already been well-circulated online, but I haven't yet heard anyone discuss something odd the artist implemented in the image. And I'm not talking about the lady Wario in the front row or the too-cool amalgam of The Warriors and Smash Bros.

warios-thumb

Whether it's wishful thinking or a case of someone knowing more than I do about upcoming releases, artist Kamekichi made some interesting choices regarding who he included in this Nintendo all-star line-up. At first glance, it would seem to be a take-off on Smash Bros., but take a second a closely look at exactly who's here. (And try taking that close look here, since the above image is so small. And while you zoomed in, by the way, just try not to notice that the Wario at the front-left is sporting a raging hard-on. Ha.)

Anyway, start with Wario — make him six o'clock — and move clockwise.
  • The Luigis directly above and behind the Warios
  • The Links
  • The Captain Falcons
  • The Waluigis
  • The Pikachus
  • The Marios
  • The Toads
  • The Koopa Troopas
  • Some shirtless guys in the back-left that I can't identify — possibly Kirby, by process of elimination, or maybe even someone from Punch-Out!!
  • The Samuses
  • The Ice Climberses
  • The Captain Olimars (form Pikmin)
  • The Balloon Fighters
  • The Pits (from Kid Icarus)
  • The Marths
  • The Zeldas
  • The Fox McClouds
  • One great, big ROB
  • The Yoshis
  • The Nesses (from Earthbound)
  • The Donkey Kongs
  • The Peaches
  • Conspicuously missing: Bowser and Jigglypuff
Just very odd that the artist managed to capture most of the actual Smash Bros. line-up, but would also include randoms like Balloon Fighter, Waluigi, Toad and Koopa Troopa. Probably wishful thinking in my part, but I have to admit they do all look good together.

Kamekichi's site is in Japanese, so I have little-to-no idea what anything on it means. However, there's more cool video game-based art available that you don't have to be multilingual to understand. For example, he has a Star Wars parody up involving various Nintendo folk.

"you're my only home... to find me in another castle."

There's also "Setting Sun," a take-off on Super Mario Sunshine, featuring Mario embarrassing Luigi.


And then there's an image of Luigi, theoretically embarrassing Mario if Mario was around to see him.


Kamekichi apparently has a thing for making the Mario Bros. inappropriately display their bulges. I tried Google-translating his site for some insight into his artistic method. What resulted was the following text, which accompanies the above image of Luigi.
There being a your strange edge, the Swedish game magazine “+N” you drew the cover of the March 6th sale number. The news item picture which with the sight “morning eye newspaper” which you have taken care usually is announced is opportunity.

Never, like this it is and can receive fish story with we did not think even in dream, but because it is the with special care opportunity, shaking the arm, you drew. Some kind of picture it cannot show here, but if perhaps the Nintendo Co. game fan, rejoicing, you think that it has become something which it can receive. Various news items (?)It is trained, die (laughing.)

Lastly, giving this kind of opportunity, as “+N” the people of the editorial staff, been the morning eye newspaper curator giving opportunity desk vessel cat, in those which in addition I draw thought gratitude is said to the people and everyone who are the [ku] from heart.

Thank you truly very much.
In short, not a clue.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Sweetheart, Curves Can Kill

Sometimes the news itself writes itself in such away that the reporter can employ not even the slightest bit of creatvity in the writing in order to make it interesting. The following lede, for example:
A jazz musician was injured Friday after jumping from a burning motor home driven by a one-time roller skating stripper from Lodi.
Spencer sent me this bit, which originally appeared in the Lodi News-Sentinel. You can read the full article if you like. Bonus points: The stripper is male.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Spiders Hate Lasagna Mondays

"Garfield" isn't the most innovative comic strip. This is not news. But the Garfield Randomizer helps prove that assessment true. Evidence:

garfield_dada

[ source: Zack Klein ]