tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33373656072341810282024-03-18T08:29:03.620-07:00Back of the Cereal Boxkidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.comBlogger2468125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-34269582043536389272021-10-18T19:43:00.000-07:002021-10-18T19:43:13.580-07:00 Beyond SunsetThis is another progress report post to announce a project that I’m excited about. In addition to the podcast work I’m doing with TableCakes, I also recently debuted the first issue of a quarterly comics anthology: <a href="https://www.beyondsunsetcomics.com/about">Beyond Sunset</a>. I made this along with Glen and <a href="https://twitter.com/losthiskeysman?lang=en">Josh</a> — I am in particular pleased with the staff photos <a href="https://www.beyondsunsetcomics.com/about">on the about page</a> — and this new publication will tell stories about parts of Southern California that you may not see covered in more mainstream media. We’re asking our creates to tell a story — sci-fi, horror, romance, noir, fantasy, whatever — that will let readers know about their version of the part of the world we live in.<br /><br />Please, if you want, go buy issue one <a href="https://www.beyondsunsetcomics.com/issue-one">here</a>. We are charging $5, because we pay our artists and writers a fair wage for their efforts. So as a tease have a look at the awesome cover by artist Patrick Horvath, whose work you can see <a href="http://patrickhorvath.com/">here</a>.<div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj1kN_3iBV5iGMotaHHDcjYbH03eonqrZM830pbczMEE7V47VcUz0p8NAvNB1wjkI-xfWJttYQBFOLNjCrTSlSRwm-6kgXEaMgTWNr7ZE3fxk1Eh75El5dWWqgNVkwazUc2GUuTAL4jVdujbreUqstHNLhGiWtfTPJvcuxd0YO1KIuuVeBCuBiLmvue=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1324" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj1kN_3iBV5iGMotaHHDcjYbH03eonqrZM830pbczMEE7V47VcUz0p8NAvNB1wjkI-xfWJttYQBFOLNjCrTSlSRwm-6kgXEaMgTWNr7ZE3fxk1Eh75El5dWWqgNVkwazUc2GUuTAL4jVdujbreUqstHNLhGiWtfTPJvcuxd0YO1KIuuVeBCuBiLmvue=w414-h640" width="414" /></a></div><div><br />And yes, by the way, the significance of writing about something called Beyond Sunset on a blog that has technically ended is not lost on me.<br /></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-17458730536382463662021-08-02T15:37:00.004-07:002021-08-02T19:09:48.604-07:00Choo Choo, Shelley Long!<p>Not only did I end this blog, but now I’ve actually begun a new one: at <a href="http://DrewMackie.com">DrewMackie.com</a>, no less. I’m writing longer pieces that I work on for a greater length of time than I usually worked on anything here, and <a href="https://www.drewmackie.com/blog/hollywood-fiction-and-shelley-long" target="_blank">the first piece</a> is up as of the posting of this. It’s about Shelley Long, but especially in the context of the 1984 movie Irreconcilable Differences, and Polly Platt and Nancy Meyers and Hollywood’s tendency to imitate itself and to forget about the successes of female creators. There will be more there, but certainly not every day and nothing like the rate I once posted here. It’s better this way.</p>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-44265681968765119032021-05-11T12:39:00.000-07:002021-07-21T11:10:06.281-07:00The Last Post / Quite Likely Not the Last PostThe previous post being the final one where I will get personal and introspective and weird on Back of the Cereal Box, I’m adding one more to the top of the stack to direct anyone who comes to this website toward all my other creative efforts. The <a href="https://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2018/09/drew-mackie-podcasts.html">previous top-of-the-stack post</a> sat there for nearly three years, and as a result it’s been viewed thousands and thousands of times and has directed quite a few clicks toward the stuff I’m working on now, so I figured I might as well do an updated version of that.<div><br /></div><div>The most successful project I have launched in my life so far is <a href="https://www.gayestepisodeever.com/">Gayest Episode Ever</a>, the podcast where Glen and I discuss the LGBT-focused episodes of classic sitcoms. In the context of this blog, it’s maybe surprising that this is my go-to project now, because it has the word “gayest” right there in the tile and I downplayed my sexuality on this blog for a long time. Funny how that works. But it is also appropriate, because Glen and I only ended up becoming friends as a result of this blog existing. More recently, our friend <a href="https://jeffhinchee.com/section/448307-Store.html">Jeff Hinchee</a> drew us an alternate logo that we use for <a href="https://www.blogger.com/#">the Patreon-only feed</a>, and it’s one of my favorite depictions of me. I’d never posted it here before, so now is my chance.<br /><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nRokRU1d7UgvCDqTEKyK2_O_HZmtepq72LHoLRWjjFDt96KaVgSVvALYrPhK2zYF24U3u-QTJR6IdTlTadgtaks-PQt_5FF36EniiJ43SEPDhwCa8hvKXJMaNEf-PGUZghA_8aqsLGc/s700/Gayest-Episode-Ever-2020-Logo-jeff-hinchee.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="700" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4nRokRU1d7UgvCDqTEKyK2_O_HZmtepq72LHoLRWjjFDt96KaVgSVvALYrPhK2zYF24U3u-QTJR6IdTlTadgtaks-PQt_5FF36EniiJ43SEPDhwCa8hvKXJMaNEf-PGUZghA_8aqsLGc/w400-h400/Gayest-Episode-Ever-2020-Logo-jeff-hinchee.png" width="400" /></a></div><div><br />Not only has Gayest Episode Ever reached a larger audience than this blog ever did, but also I think the work we’re doing on the show is more focused than anything I did as a blogger. You can listen to our most recent episodes <a href="https://www.gayestepisodeever.com/episodes/">here</a>, and if you were jumping in blind without ever hearing me talk before, I would say our best episode is actually about <a href="https://www.gayestepisodeever.com/episodes/dinosaurs-gay-episode"><i>Dinosaurs</i></a> — the TGIF sitcom with “not that mama!” and people wearing big dinosaur suits, because it did actually do a gay episode. The sexuality part is coded as herbivorism, but it’s very clearly riffing on queer themes in a way that flew directly over my head when I saw it when I was a kid, and I’m willing to bet it went over yours too. <br /><br /> <iframe allowfullscreen="" height="90" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/13307045/height/90/theme/custom/thumbnail/yes/direction/forward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/88AA3C/" style="border: none;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="100%"></iframe> <br /><br />You can subscribe on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/gayest-episode-ever/id1357463744">Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href="https://podcasts.google.com/search/gayest%20episode%20ever">Google Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/7z85L3qZh0DXAXRZQWoCPB">Spotify</a>, and probably other places too.</div><div><br />Though the podcast itself is doing quite well and I’m very proud of its success on that platform specifically, its profile got a major boost at the beginning of this year when I put out a project that I worked on for all of 2020: a video compilation of every single LGBT joke on the history of <i>The Simpsons</i>. (Read all about it <a href="https://www.gayestepisodeever.com/special-features/2021/1/27/smithers-beyond-every-lgbt-joke-on-the-simpsons-ever">here</a>.) Few things could have been any more me, and while I thought it might get Gayest Episode Ever an additional few followers, it ended up exceeding all of my expectations.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/sIXK9_bnHYA" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe> </div><div><br /></div><div>As of the posting of this, it’s been viewed more than 420,000 times, which is to say considerably more times than anyone has viewed any post on this blog — except for the “It’s a Secret to Everyone” video game names origin post, which was viewed a few million times but which Blogger just recently deleted without my permission, and for no stated reason. (It still exists, <a href="https://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2009/06/its-secret-to-everybody-part-one.html">broken up into chapters</a>, BTW.) The <i>Simpsons</i> video brought in a great deal of new listeners to the show, and also it got covered by a few reputable sites, <a href="https://news.avclub.com/theres-a-2-hour-long-supercut-of-every-lgbtq-joke-made-1846189162">A.V. Club</a> and <a href="https://boingboing.net/2021/02/07/a-supercut-of-every-lgbtq-reference-made-on-the-simpsons.html">Boing Boing</a> included, but the thing we really did not expect was the fact that it helped get our friend Tony Rodriguez cast on the show. In <a href="https://www.gayestepisodeever.com/episodes/patty-gay-simpsons-every-lgbt-joke">the corresponding podcast episode</a> that goes with the video, we noted how the character of Julio, a sassy Cuban-American gay resident of Springfield voiced by Hank Azaria should be voiced instead by Tony, who is both Cuban-American and gay in real life, and now Tony actually voices the character. We effected a change on <i>The Simpsons.</i> I am still boggled by this. (If you want to know all the specifics of how this came to be, we interviewed Tony about the whole process, and you can listen <a href="https://www.gayestepisodeever.com/episodes/simpsons-julio-tony-rodriguez">here</a>. Yahoo! Entertainment also <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/heres-simpsons-replaced-hank-azaria-194452730.html">wrote the whole thing up</a>.)</div><div><br />Gayest Episode Ever is not my only podcast. I also have <a href="https://singingmountainpod.com/">Singing Mountain</a>, which is about video game music and which is in a state of semi-hibernation now just because it takes a great deal of time to put an episode together, though I do intend to do more. Over the run of its hundred-plus episodes, it’s become very vibey and moody, and I realize I’m using it more as an art project than as a means to just share VGM, but I like it that way. I’d point you in the direction of <a href="https://singingmountainpod.com/episodes/peaceful-forest-vgm-rain">my 16-bit forest music</a> episode if you want to relax. There’s also the one where I did <a href="https://singingmountainpod.com/episodes/16-bit-ruins">chilled-out, fuzzed-out kinda-sorta remixes</a> of Super NES and Genesis music just to see if I could do it. Did I? Unsure!<br /><br /> <iframe allowfullscreen="" height="90" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/18211265/height/90/theme/custom/thumbnail/yes/direction/forward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/88AA3C/" style="border: none;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="100%"></iframe> <br /><br />You can subscribe on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/singing-mountain/id1252832457?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4">Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href="https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5zb3VuZGNsb3VkLmNvbS91c2Vycy9zb3VuZGNsb3VkOnVzZXJzOjMxMjgwMjg0MS9zb3VuZHMucnNz?sa=X&ved=0CAYQrrcFahcKEwi4usbIn8LwAhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQAg">Google Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/2ISyNLUc1ALxzvjBqw4ru3?si=OM-bFRP1RLSLkiv2XyQxNg">Spotify</a>, and probably on some of the weirdo apps too.<br /><br />These podcasts are both part of <a href="http://tablecakes.com/">TableCakes</a>, the company I started with Katherine in 2018, where I produce two other shows: <a href="https://www.underbellyla.com/">Underbelly L.A.,</a> which is about the dark side of Los Angeles history and is hosted by Hadley Meares, and <a href="https://www.mondayafternoonmovie.com/">Sam Pancake Presents the Monday Afternoon Movie</a>, which is about made-for-TV horror movies, where I actually did guest <a href="https://www.mondayafternoonmovie.com/episodes/dont-go-to-sleep-1982-drew-mackie">on one episode</a> about a movie where Valerie Harper is menaced by a child wielding a rolling pizza cutter. The best episodes, however, are the ones <a href="https://www.mondayafternoonmovie.com/episodes/midnight-hour-naomi-ekperigin-1985">with Naomi Ekperigin</a> as the guest, because she gives really good podcast.<br /><br />Later last year, I started a new podcast as a little side project. It’s called <a href="https://www.deepcutsandsuperficialwounds.com/">Deep Cuts & Superficial Wounds</a>, and it’s about lesser-known 80s music. It’s actually doing pretty well, and if you want to listen to a show that is very much so like radio but not played on airwaves, this is the one for you. Start anywhere, but <a href="https://www.deepcutsandsuperficialwounds.com/episodes/italo-disco-halloween">the Halloween special</a> is by far my most-listened to one yet. I think my tribute to <a href="https://www.deepcutsandsuperficialwounds.com/episodes/dark-italo-disco">the doomed new wave girl</a> from <i>Friday the 13th: A New Beginning</i> is also pretty good.<br /><br /> <iframe allowfullscreen="" height="90" mozallowfullscreen="" msallowfullscreen="" oallowfullscreen="" scrolling="no" src="//html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/16545941/height/90/theme/custom/thumbnail/yes/direction/forward/render-playlist/no/custom-color/88AA3C/" style="border: none;" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="100%"></iframe> <br /><br />You can subscribe on <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/deep-cuts-and-superficial-wounds/id1534518324">Apple Podcasts</a>, <a href="https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9kZWVwY3V0c3N1cGVyZmljaWFsd291bmRzLmxpYnN5bi5jb20vcnNz?sa=X&ved=0CAYQrrcFahcKEwiQ892Lxa3sAhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQAQ">Google Podcasts</a> but not Spotify because they rejected me, even if the show did originate <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/03Mgie1jnk7RB79N8Y324y?si=pschVplqTCGGjtG32rs8dg">as a Spotify playlist</a>. Jerks.<br /><br />I don’t just do podcasts. I am considering places where I’d write again, and when I do I will post here, hence the less-than-final title attached to this. I do currently have a small, bare-bones blog up that’s just about etymology. It’s called <a href="https://www.thesingingwolf.com/">The Singing Wolf</a> — and no, no real relation to Singing Mountain, except for being by me, I suppose — and it’s the first step to correct a problem that I feel prevented Back of the Cereal Box from getting a larger following than it did: the fact that it was about one third etymology, one third video games and one third personal stuff, and those three elements don’t have much overlap. The portion of the audience who enjoyed all three was basically Nate and Jill, and I should have split the project into three parallel efforts in order to better focus what it was about. If my podcasts have taught me anything, you generally can’t go too niche. So in that sense, if you get a rise out of finding <a href="https://www.thesingingwolf.com/blog/umbrella-umbrage-throwing-shade">a strange linguistic parallel</a> between taking umbrage — asserting that you think you’ve been slighted — and throwing shade — slighting someone without making them suspect it — then this blog may be for you.<br /><br />Finally, there are the videos. I never really thought they’d be much more than artsy little weirds I’d leave online for people who are also weird to find and enjoy. I’ve collected the worthwhile ones on <a href="https://www.phantofilms.com/">their own website</a>, which you can peruse at your leisure. But if I ever have to point anyone in the direction of a single example where I think I achieved something cool, it would be <a href="https://www.phantofilms.com/marion-marion">Marion / Marion</a>, the video where I overlaid first half of the original <i>Psycho</i> and the Gus Van Sant remake and cobbled together a music video set to The Arcade Fire’s “Reflektor.”</div><div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/217804463" width="640"></iframe></div><p>I just think it turned out well, and if this blog was ever for anything, it was to point readers in the direction of the stuff I thought didn’t suck, and in this case the non-sucky thing was made by me.<br /><br />I’m still <a href="https://twitter.com/drewgmackie">on Twitter</a>, where I take my shirt off a lot because it demonstrably increases engagement with my podcasts. (No, really. It works.) I’m also still <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kidicarus222">on Instagram</a>, thought strangely less often shirtless. Thurman has <a href="https://www.instagram.com/thurmaniac/">his own Instagram</a>, in case you like Thurman but don’t like me. (I am almost never shirtless on Thurman’s Instagram.) But since I bring it up, here is what I look like shirtless now.<br /><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/kidicarus222" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img alt="Drew Mackie" border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivdb8S4UTMKYXcAwQtKtNRzc3GdpaOu5fQcs3rX0UqjqKOVRAyObCnX3CXTcrLDAPQLjLKkrTPZt27ABd5ARtEyHxTkXkE1PyGiB4Mb_Uc3P_0bndlw6Voh2NnCN-vRUaimUOmZByzZGg/w480-h640/drew-mackie-shirtless.jpeg" title="Drew Mackie" width="480" /></a></div><br /></div></div><div>There, doesn’t that make you want to listen to my podcasts?</div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-54089607605543979982021-05-10T22:59:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:43.770-07:00An Endless Series of False StartsI’m not going to be writing here anymore, for the most part. You maybe already figured that out, but I wanted to make at least one thing in my life official. <br /><br />It would make more sense if I just said that I lost my love for writing and that I’m now focusing my creative energies on a host of other outlets, but that would be a lie. I did burn out as a writer, having spent the better part of my twenties writing for pleasure, writing for self-expression and writing for work. It bothers me less that I never ended up taking it far and that I never ended up writing anything that really mattered. What pains me even today is that I didn’t properly care for this gift I was given — that gift being a love of writing, not being a good writer — and it died like a mouse in my pocket, which is a bad metaphor, I realize, but like I said, I was never a good writer. <br /><br />It’s been more than two years since I’ve posted anything here and more than four since I wrote here with any regularity. I kept thinking that if I just took a long enough break from blogging, the passion I had for writing would eventually come back to me. And it did, in a sense, but as a result of the amount of time that has passed since Back of the Cereal Box was part of my life, I realize that any writing I do in the future will have to live somewhere else. I don’t know the person who kept this blog. I’ve grown up and I’ve grown apart from him, and while I can imagine trying to find my voice again, I doubt I can do it on a website that connects me to a version of me that existed five, ten, fifteen years ago, who wanted different things from life and whom I can’t look at now without thinking that I failed him in some way. <br /><br />I’m not sad about this. I’m mostly okay with where my life is now, and I am engaged in a variety of creative pursuits that have found audiences far bigger than what I ever achieved with this blog. But I’m also doing that in a world that’s different than the one I expected to live at this point in my life, for reasons that should be obvious — unless you’ve been you living on Mars, in a cave, with your eyes shut and your fingers in your ears — but also for reasons that aren’t obvious, because of a thing I have hardly told anyone about, which changed how I think about life and which I consider to be equal parts horrible and beautiful. This latter thing I have tried to write about many times, but I always end up deleting it, because I’ve never been able to find a way to put it into words that makes me sound anything other than crazy. <br /><br />Maybe words will always fail me in this respect, but just understand that this thing is a sea monster in the ocean on an old map, and it changed how I spend my life, for good and for bad in a way that somehow doesn’t total out to neutral. This will not be the last post, technically speaking, but this is the one where I wanted to leave a small part of myself for the last time, because I often used this blog to figure out who I was, and even in writing this post, which I’ve been composing in my head for the last few years, I may have figured a thing out one final time.<br /><br />Often, the introspection I was able to do on this blog was done through pop culture, where I looked deep into movies or TV or music and saw myself, Magic Eye-style, and I will be leaving you with a pop cultural thing this one final time. But whereas I usually name-checked the references and connected the dots in a bid to seem clever and hip and culturally literate, I’m going to post this last bit free of any context, because I think it will actually mean more if you take it away from the source material. If you’re curious, you can google it. If you really know me, you could probably even guess where it’s from. But also maybe don’t search for an easy answer, at least for a little while. Just think about it and decide for yourself what it means to you and what you imagine it could mean to me.<br /><div><blockquote><i>What I’ve learned from this place and about these people terrifies me, I’ll frankly admit that. How much of what I know, what I’ve been culturally attuned to believe, feels like the set of a play on a strange stage I’ve wandered onto without knowing why I’m here. I don’t know the lines, I don’t know what part I’m playing, I don’t even know what the play’s about or what it’s called. I'm just here onstage, stuck in a dream, lights shining in my eyes. Is anyone out there watching?<br /><br />The play stumbles ahead, feels like artifice, mistakes, frippery, an endless series of false starts, bad assumptions, all the while shadowed with the constant horror that something unforeseen could drop down on me from above or lurch in from the wings at any moment, that the floor could open beneath me and instantly erase even this small, pitiful existence, put out the lights for good.<br /><br />Chief, this has changed me. You predicted that, and I should have known you’d be right, but you can’t know what you don’t know until you do. It’s because you’ve already been through it, I think. Does this feeling end? Can you tell me you come out the other side to some kind of understanding, or do I have to take that as another article of faith? There’s only one redeeming feeling I can cling to, provided I ever get that far — and I’m not saying I’m there yet, by any stretch — but when it’s all stripped away and you realize you’re the only one who can put the pieces of yourself together, by yourself, alone — no easy answers from a book, song, or movie or the reassuring words of someone older and “wiser” — I’m noticing it has a tendency to focus and sharpen the mind, and strengthen the will to live constantly with all my senses wide-open to the here and now. One clear idea emerges from that crucible, forged and hard as rolling steel: We mustn’t give up. Ever.</i></blockquote></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-41604461340303096732018-09-17T18:18:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:44.120-07:00Making Words for Your Ears (But Not Your Eyes)Well, hey there.<br /><br />You may have noticed that I still haven’t been writing, which is to say that you probably haven’t noticed it because I haven’t been doing it. There hasn’t been anything to notice. I’ve been thinking a lot about why I haven’t been writing, and there’s probably something there, but in order to get to the heart of it, I’d probably have to write it out, which, as I have already stated, I am unwilling to do. <br /><br />To use a triple negative, not writing doesn’t mean that I haven’t been busy, however. In the last few months, I’ve jumped face-first into podcasting, to the point that this summer I actually launched a podcasting business with Katherine Spiers, a friend and former co-worker who runs a successful food podcast, <a href="https://soundcloud.com/smartmouthpodcast">Smart Mouth</a>. We’ve called the business <a href="https://tablecakes.com/">TableCakes Productions</a>, which might make us sound like a boutique pastry service but is actually named after the phenomenon of ordering pancakes for the entire table at a restaurant: one stack, shared by everyone. This connection is reflected in our logo.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHCbCVroGjiKPWme_x6IKpytohB3JtVK3V6G-pu29xmkckYVb7lELICpvpGb934wvDaw00MYLJDp1jdob9VrTQQFNTf3Tebj_WrJiaDChrryflQaO80G4hlvy9IrzKa8_2xOn7_YB6NiQ/s1600/TableCakes_Logo_Instagram_Profile_02.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHCbCVroGjiKPWme_x6IKpytohB3JtVK3V6G-pu29xmkckYVb7lELICpvpGb934wvDaw00MYLJDp1jdob9VrTQQFNTf3Tebj_WrJiaDChrryflQaO80G4hlvy9IrzKa8_2xOn7_YB6NiQ/s320/TableCakes_Logo_Instagram_Profile_02.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">logo design by emily chaplain</td></tr></tbody></table><br />That’s a good metaphor for how we’re structuring our company. It’s a shared experience, and it’s something that can offer everyone a piece. I won’t bore you with the shopkeeping details, but I’ll at least say that we are trying to seek out voices that don’t have a platform already, especially people that deserve to be heard but who might not have a means for starting their own podcast. We know how to do that. We will get you started.<br /><br />And yes, by the way, we do have <a href="https://www.patreon.com/tablecakes">a Patreon account</a>, should you want to support us.<br /><br />That pitch out of the way, I wanted to share with you some of the shows we have going on. Foremost, this past week we launched a new film podcast, <a href="https://www.youhavetowatchthismovie.com/">You Have to Watch This Movie</a>. <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk-4tapgF3zIRo4JK_TwnLbk8U_EBVWv_HuILzr99t5qqa5Vgch8N3XOZe1ypuUUAxHLib2jrYIqVVeRFeQ8KpmdPHjcaaiz4mltdsit3DU7bxypBwZPdfmCIf0n6efkI-fkoQ2SLJtfA/s1600/you-have-to-watch-this-movie-podcast-logo-jeff-hinchee.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk-4tapgF3zIRo4JK_TwnLbk8U_EBVWv_HuILzr99t5qqa5Vgch8N3XOZe1ypuUUAxHLib2jrYIqVVeRFeQ8KpmdPHjcaaiz4mltdsit3DU7bxypBwZPdfmCIf0n6efkI-fkoQ2SLJtfA/s320/you-have-to-watch-this-movie-podcast-logo-jeff-hinchee.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">logo design by <a href="http://jeffhinchee.com/section/448307-Store.html">jeff hinchee</a>, who is also great</td></tr></tbody></table><br />This one is a follow-up to my previous movie podcast, <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2017/06/gayer-than-batmans-rubber-nipples.html">We Are Not Young Anymore</a>, this time with Tony Rodriguez as my co-host. Do you have a movie that you like a lot? Maybe one you’ve watched again and again over the course of your life? Maybe if you met someone who hadn’t seen this particular film, you might respond with, “Oh, you have to watch this movie.” Those are the kind of movies we’ll be talking about on this show, and each week we will have a guest in to talk about a movie that moves them. (Some of them might be famous! Some of them kinda won’t be!) Regardless of who the guest is, however, he or she will be there to talk about art that means something to them, and having those conversations is one of my favorite things to do.<br /><br />Our first episode is about <i>Big Business</i>, the 1988 Lily Tomlin-Bette Midler comedy that I actually did not see until Tony showed it to me while we were dating, when he told me that I had to watch this movie. He was right.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="600" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/498764436&color=%23c6b6a8&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br /></div><br />Like all my shows, it’s based on SoundCloud, but you can subscribe <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/you-have-to-watch-this-movie/id1435968370">on iTunes,</a> <a href="https://play.google.com/music/listen?u=0#/ps/Irdypyqe5y7djr6h77a4cqidltq">on Google Play</a> and <a href="https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/drew-mackie/you-have-to-watch-this-movie?refid=stpr">on Stitcher</a>, depending on where you like your podcasts. Please subscribe. Please give us a rate and review, if you’re into it. You’ve listened to a podcast before. You know the drill.<br /><br />As You Have to Watch This Movie begins, I’m actually ending the first season of another show I’m producing and editing (but not talking on), <a href="https://www.mondayafternoonmovie.com/">Sam Pancake Presents the Monday Afternoon Movie</a>. It’s hosted by my friend, Sam Pancake, who is an actor who has been on most of the shows. (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0659143/">No, really.</a>) This podcast has him and guests (some famous!) discussing made-for-TV horror movies from the ’70s, and if you think that focus is too specific to sustain a long-term show, you are wrong and also YOU HAVE SOME ATTITUDE. <br /><br />I made this intro graphic and I fully admit that I am proud of how it turned out.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/280834084?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />This show essentially amounts to two friends having an informed conversation about a movie that is bonkers beyond belief. Take <i>Curse of the Black Widow</i>, for example, which Sam talked about with Drew Droege (a famous!) and which features Patty Duke turning into a giant spider. That is weirdly not the most far-fetched aspect of it, too.<br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="600" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/488196291&color=%23c6b6a8&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br /><br />Or maybe try <i>The House That Wouldn’t Die</i>, which stars Barbara Stanwyck as a pantsuit-wearing grandma who still has time to be sexy, even when she’s fighting off her possessed niece. This episode’s guest is Selene Luna, a performer whose character was killed off horribly in that remake of <i>My Bloody Valentine</i> but who also was once of the voices in <i>Coco</i>, which I think demonstrates range. <br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="600" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/484764222&color=%23c6b6a8&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br /><br />Again, you can follow Monday Afternoon Movie <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/sam-pancake-presents-the-monday-afternoon-movie/id1419834155">on iTunes</a> and anywhere else you’d normally find a podcast. <br /><br />Earlier this year, I also started a show with Glen Lakin, a screenwriter who also happens to be my roommate, about the gay one-off episodes of famous sitcoms. We called it <a href="http://gayestepisodeever.com/">Gayest Episode Ever</a>, and it actually did pretty well for the one ten-episode season we did. We’re doing a second in the not-too-distant future. But if your idea of a good time is listening to gay dues go on and on about why Diane Chambers is a gift from god or why the John Waters episode of <i>The Simpsons</i> is a triumph, please give it a listen. <br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="600" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/441994692&color=%23c6b6a8&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="600" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/431958744&color=%23c6b6a8&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br /><br />(And also please <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/gayest-episode-ever/id1357463744">subscribe</a> and so forth.)<br /><br />And finally there’s <a href="https://singingmountainpod.com/">Singing Mountain</a>, the video game music podcast I started last year initially in an effort to put some more eyes on We Are Not Young Anymore. Singing Mountain has since outlived that initial podcast and turned into a fun side-project on its own. Last week, I posted the fortieth episode, and it’s one big mix of peaceful, calming music — the kind of stuff I felt like I needed to listen to, because I’ve been working a lot more than I’d maybe like.<br /><br /><iframe allow="autoplay" frameborder="no" height="600" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/499234512&color=%23c6b6a8&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br /><br />But I don’t mind, because it’s all to further projects that I think are really cool. (And yes, <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/singing-mountain/id1252832457?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4">please subscribe</a>.)<br /><br />So yeah, I’m not writing a whole lot, save for this promotional post, just because I wanted people to know that I’ve been working a lot and doing stuff I think people would like. We have a lot more planned, and while those shows will be debuting in the near future, I don’t want to show our hand just yet. I can at least say that they’re all hosted by women, and that’s another thing that makes me excited about TableCakes’s lineup.<br /><br />I will write again — someday, probably — but if you were for some reason feeling like you missed my words, know that I’m still making them, just in a different medium. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-14300362105187984122018-02-03T12:24:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:44.471-07:00Excuse Me, But Does This Bus Go to the Flower Market?“Good afternoon, bus captain. Might this line be the one that takes me to the flower district? Where the flower markets are?”<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg75EMQJIEfcJFGvlS2HJB8HDNdzTbLBi7Xozpz0lBOKWF_ic2izh677u6iyBggHoMRN1R0g5r0Avn8F3lUwJU7-2EQkn94RyfCxbJHucSLN3EwXBtzdweVxeAtc-r7fHkEMIxeyp8mMes/s1600/IMG_3225.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg75EMQJIEfcJFGvlS2HJB8HDNdzTbLBi7Xozpz0lBOKWF_ic2izh677u6iyBggHoMRN1R0g5r0Avn8F3lUwJU7-2EQkn94RyfCxbJHucSLN3EwXBtzdweVxeAtc-r7fHkEMIxeyp8mMes/s640/IMG_3225.JPG" width="480" /></a></div><br />“Why, hello, my good fellow. Yes, this bus goes along the greenery corridor, with stops in the flower district, Old Salad Town and the Avenue of Blossoms.”<br /><br />“Oh, then you are the bus captain for me! How much will it cost to get to the market?”<br /><br />“One handful of jam.”<br /><br />“Well, this is unfortunate. I only have a satchel of berries on me at the moment.”<br /><br />“I’m sorry, then, but you may not ride. We have rules for a reason, and it is my duty to uphold them.”<br /><br />“This is most unfortunate. I was to meet my friend, who, of course, is a sheep.”<br /><br />“I regret to say that I cannot help you. Perhaps you have jam at home?”<br /><br />“I do not, for I ate it all this morning. I licked the jars clean, I did.”<br /><br />“I am sorry.”<br /><br />“Truly we are both sorry.”<br /><br /><i>[a pause]</i><br /><br />“We were planning to eat all the flowers in the market.”<br />kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-75150688831033883042017-09-13T11:46:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:44.822-07:00Belladonna (But Not Stevie Nicks)Short version: Hi, look at another video I made.<br /><br />Long version: If you haven’t already seen <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WkcLMapo_Y">Belladonna of Sadness,</a></i> the 1973 anime about eroticism and witchcraft in medieval France, I might not necessarily recommend it outright. If it’s the kind of movie you’d need to see, you’d probably already have seen it. There’s no question that <i>Belladonna</i> is beautiful; it truly is a work of art. However, it may lean more toward art than entertainment, because in many sections of it, there’s not actually any animation happening. You’re just watching the camera pan over a beautiful drawing or watercolor rendering of Jeanne, the film’s central character.<br /><br />I decided to take the film’s most colorful and most animated parts and edit them into a kind of <i>Belladonna of Sadness</i> supercut, and as soon as I did that, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DszS3ACWbbk">Goldfrapp’s “Hairy Trees”</a> just kind of suggested itself as the ideal musical pairing. What you see below is something I find aesthetically pleasing but also a really misleading trailer for the film, as I purposefully excluded many of the still frame scenes, all the scenes where the sentient penis of Satan is a character and then also the scenes of sexual violence. Like I said, this movie is not for everyone. And yes, I see the irony in taking a work of erotica and essentially spaying it. However, as far as this video being a first in a little series I’m doing about weird animation, I think I’m off to a decent start.<br /><br />Heads up: This video is NSFW as a result of animated boob.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/233172091?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />In case you’re curious about the racier aspects of this film, I’m including below two of its big sex sequences: one represented Jeanne’s induction into witchcraft and the other the effect Jeanne’s liberation has on the villagers in her town. If the video I cut was a soft NSFW, I’d say these two sequences are an incredibly hard NSFW, not just for nudity but also for psychedelic, grotesque imagery the likes of which you may have never seen anywhere else. <br /><br />Enjoy or also maybe just watch it concernedly, depending on your disposition.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/233170869?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />More to come. See previous video art projects <a href="https://vimeo.com/album/4748679">here</a>.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zwqHu90hFtkAi3nSes-IiDUa0bjv0Ry6HXf2bxe3F918MOGoTUE_AEE3XISe00ZIpkUiT6rpB4jeJi26D7Wh0rUP3Dck3j3mnImg-RCWZTWCBH3HDoCYe13Ky5tFXielRvl43J1srwg/s1600/belladonna-of-sadness.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="477" data-original-width="858" height="354" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zwqHu90hFtkAi3nSes-IiDUa0bjv0Ry6HXf2bxe3F918MOGoTUE_AEE3XISe00ZIpkUiT6rpB4jeJi26D7Wh0rUP3Dck3j3mnImg-RCWZTWCBH3HDoCYe13Ky5tFXielRvl43J1srwg/s640/belladonna-of-sadness.png" width="640" /></a></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-31331975258913675262017-08-30T16:54:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:45.175-07:00Let’s Go to the MallStill not in the habit of writing much, but hey — here’s a video thing.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/231782592?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />This was for a project that is now on hold, but I decided to finish this one segment anyway. It’s a montage of a few different camcorder videos of mall antics back in the day, set to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmwmrNg9Sg0" target="_blank">Sylvester’s “Rock the Box,”</a> even though I’m pretty sure the kids featured wouldn’t have heard of Sylvester. Here’s hoping I get to make the remaining segments should the project resume.<br /><br />And here are the videos I used in this compilation:<br /><ul><li>MTV at the Hanover Mall (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNMwLsy80-c" target="_blank">part one</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHJTyDCSXa4" target="_blank">part two</a>)</li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADTiiBdkRRg" target="_blank">Dara at the Mall</a></li><li>Cookeville Mall (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yiMsKYeeUU" target="_blank">part one</a> and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz-fMBx5JS0" target="_blank">part two</a>)</li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsbywVYa6z4" target="_blank">December 1989 visit to the Galleria</a></li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Evo5GZ45gKU" target="_blank">Signal Hill Mall</a></li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDW1KFZM3kg&t=126s" target="_blank">Mall Walk 1988</a></li><li>And a tiny bit of the documentary <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmWTHCHHzZY" target="_blank">Mall City</a></i></li></ul>You can also see all of my more “finished” projects on <a href="https://vimeo.com/album/4748679" target="_blank">a special page on my Vimeo account</a>, should you be bored today. And maybe in the future… writing? <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1oEHtuUXZAkmBVLo0ElVaSZwuMc7gCYp41FWxhWqiRRBVOEuGOjp9Yiu5f8xU4Tu_IZbltdLe6dGKtLZT9khVPWly5OZQKc5H8lmKzdEn_7Ct3EDP677OsUMP4ynbJclSZPFi7q3DjVs/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-08-30+at+4.35.29+PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="424" data-original-width="761" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1oEHtuUXZAkmBVLo0ElVaSZwuMc7gCYp41FWxhWqiRRBVOEuGOjp9Yiu5f8xU4Tu_IZbltdLe6dGKtLZT9khVPWly5OZQKc5H8lmKzdEn_7Ct3EDP677OsUMP4ynbJclSZPFi7q3DjVs/s640/Screen+Shot+2017-08-30+at+4.35.29+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-48671172681973975432017-07-24T13:30:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:45.524-07:00VHSmas in JulyBecause nothing should get you into the holiday spirit better than the rapid approach of August, the hottest and least-holiday-filled month of all, here is a Christmas video.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/226656552" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />I spent the last two weeks cobbling this together for <a href="https://www.instagram.com/drinkspecialla/" target="_blank">Drink Special’s</a> Christmas in July event last night at Bar Mattachine in downtown L.A. And while it was cool to see something I’d stitched together <a href="https://vimeo.com/226798246">projected onto the wall,</a> probably bigger than anything else I’d had a hand in making, I’m also putting the video online, just because a few people have enjoyed my past videos. And who knows? Maybe this will come in handy in a few months, when you’re planning your own holiday party and you want to play some wallpaper video that encourages people to point and say, “Hey, I also remember this thing!”<br /><br />The Drink Special party had its own soundtrack, so while VHSmas was playing on a loop you couldn’t hear the soundtrack I included with it. That’s okay. The music in the video is really just placeholder music anyway, and I feel like anyone playing this at parties will probably just mute it and put on their own Christmas music instead. <br /><br />In case you’re wondering, here is a list of the TV shows and movies I included, in order of when each first appears in the montage. <br /><br /><ul><li>The 1964 Rankin/Bass <i>Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer</i> special</li><li><i>The Nutcracker Fantasy</i> (read more about this high-octane nightmare fuel <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/08/ragman-stop-motion-animated-nutcracker-video.html" target="“_blank”">here</a>)</li><li>1974’s other Rankin/Bass special, <i>The Year Without Santa Claus</i></li><li><i>Gremlins</i></li><li><i>A Muppet Family Christmas</i></li><li><i>Black Christmas</i> (1974 version)</li><li>A fairly unknown 1984 slasher movie called <i>Don’t Open Till Christmas</i></li><li>1984's Christmas <i>Top of the Pops</i>, featuring Baltimora</li><li>1977’s <i>The Carpenters at Christmas</i></li><li><i>The Star Wars Holiday Special</i></li><li>The “Tendo Family Christmas Scramble” episode of <i>Ranma 1/2</i></li><li>The finale to <i>Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life</i></li><li>Ann-Marget on an unidentified Christmas special from 1981</li><li>The Joan Collins sequence from the 1972 <i>Tales From the Crypt</i> movie</li><li>The video for “Christmas in Hollis,” by Run–D.M.C.</li><li>The video for “Last Christmas” by Wham</li><li>“Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,” the show’s original Christmas special</li><li>“Christmas at Pee-Wee’s Playhouse”</li><li><i>A Charlie Brown Christmas</i></li><li>“The Bird! The Bird!” — the premiere episode of <i>The Super Mario Bros. Super Show</i></li><li><i>National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation</i></li><li><i>Sailor Moon S: The Movie</i></li><li><i>Scrooged</i></li><li><i>White Christmas</i></li><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2014/08/what-philip-morris-can-teach-us-about.html">An amazing Philip Morris video</a> about marketing cigarettes that I think I passed off as Christmassy well enough</li><li>The <i>Solid Gold</i> Christmas specials from 1983 and 1985</li><li><i>He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special</i></li><li><i>How the Grinch Stole Christmas</i></li><li><i>Babes in Toyland </i>(1986 version)</li><li><i>Batman Returns</i></li><li>The video for the original version of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You”</li><li><i>Bing Crosby's Merrie Olde Christmas</i> (1977)</li><li>The 1989 Christian Lacroix fall-winter fashion show</li><li><i>Profondo Rosso</i></li><li><i>Die Hard</i></li><li><i>The Snowman</i> (1982)</li><li><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvtQQlb3-pw">This 1951 Russian cartoon</a> that may or may not be an adaptation of <i>The Night Before Christmas</i></li><li><i>Christmas Comes to Pac-Land</i> (1982)</li><li>“Koopa Klaus,” the Christmas episode of <i>The Super Mario Bros. Super</i></li><li>“Miracle at the Teen Club,” the <i>Beverly Hills Teens</i> Christmas special</li><li>“Christmas Memories,” the holiday special for <i>Heathcliff and the Cadillac Cats</i></li><li><i>A Christmas Story</i></li><li>A 1980 clip of Kate Bush performing a Christmas version of “Babooshka”</li><li>The video for Roxette’s “It Must Have Been Love,” which it should be noted was originally written as a Christmas song</li><li><i>The Christmas Toy</i> (1986)</li><li><i>A Claymation Christmas Celebration</i> (1987)</li></ul>(Sorry, no ALF.)<br /><br />I’m not listing all the commercials separately because there are simply too many of them and I found them all in these treasure trove YouTube clips of old broadcast commercials broadcast around the holidays. But ask if there’s something you want identified. And feel free to use this montage as you will.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcAhfZvptfxc5AfMavNr6Bku1xh9vG6WmkgGFtqjiC08vn2NOX5JKJBPYhaYCoG4dscNauKCMx1QJNxlrCEMiRUU25MgflkFIswD4CYpdlqcTuyvjgejp_OsIwhosxGH1f1N7Ub8yX27g/s1600/vhsmas.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="532" data-original-width="905" height="376" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcAhfZvptfxc5AfMavNr6Bku1xh9vG6WmkgGFtqjiC08vn2NOX5JKJBPYhaYCoG4dscNauKCMx1QJNxlrCEMiRUU25MgflkFIswD4CYpdlqcTuyvjgejp_OsIwhosxGH1f1N7Ub8yX27g/s640/vhsmas.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />Previous videos:<br /><ul><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2017/05/marion-marion-psycho-remake-mashup.html">Marion / Marion</a></li><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2017/02/all-colors-of-night.html">All the Colors of the Night</a></li><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/09/rewind-80s-mix.html">Rewind</a></li></ul>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-78459141303262780302017-07-06T12:23:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:45.875-07:00Singing MountainIt’s not that I’m neglecting this blog; it’s that I’m more often engaged in creative ways that are not writing, and I’m simply using the shell of this blog as a platform to promote these other things.<br /><br />I started <a href="https://soundcloud.com/singingmountain/">Singing Mountain</a>, a podcast about video game music a few weeks ago. It’s an experiment, and I’m not sure exactly what form it will take. It may change episode to episode, based on my whims and availability, but I can tell you at least that it will always be about why the background music from whatever game you barely remember is actually more important than you might have realized.<br /><br />I posted the fourth episode of Singing Mountain yesterday. It’s actually a remake, of sorts, <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2012/10/ric-ocasek-gave-me-chills-in-weirdest.html" target="_blank">of a post</a> that went up here back in 2012. Once I started this thing, I realized that a podcast actually was the better medium through which to tell the story, just because you can exert a little more control over your audience than you can with just text. Topics discussed in this fourth episode include Earthbound, the closet where my mom would hide Christmas presents, The Cars, Salvador Dali’s “The Persistence of Memory,” the actual persistence of memory, the litigiousness of Beatles and, finally, Janet Jackson. It will likely prove to be the exception more than the rule, as far as future episodes go, as this one is also about me. I was interested if I could use this sort of podcast as a means to make creative nonfiction, I guess, and I’m eager to hear what you think of the result.<br /><br /><iframe frameborder="no" height="450" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/331779015&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>If you’re interested, you can subscribe to Singing Mountain both <a href="https://soundcloud.com/singingmountain/">on SoundCloud</a> and <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/id1252832457" target="_blank">on iTunes</a>. And if you’re curious, you can also listen to my previous three episodes, which cover <a href="https://soundcloud.com/singingmountain/its-raining-swords" target="_blank"><i>Super Mario RPG</i></a>, <a href="https://soundcloud.com/singingmountain/episode-two-wet-metal" target="_blank">the <i>Mega Man</i> series</a> and <a href="https://soundcloud.com/singingmountain/episode-three-giana-from-germany" target="_blank">the work of German composer Chris Huelsbeck</a>. <br /><br />In case you’re wondering, the logo art uses a slightly re-colored version of the <a href="https://www.spriters-resource.com/snes/secretofmana2seikendensetsu3/sheet/88243/">Dragon’s Hole dungeon background art</a> from <i>Seiken Densetsu 3</i>. And please — if you’re so inclined, write me a review on iTunes. As a podcast person, I’m required to ask you that. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-36008314320279539812017-07-03T11:25:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:46.222-07:00Here, I Fixed the Woodsman from Twin PeaksEight episodes into the new season of <i>Twin Peaks</i>, we’ve seen some scary stuff. However, the single most lingering image, for me, nightmare-wise, appeared back in the second installment. It was our first glimpse of the horrifying, soot-covered woodsmen. The camera pans from Matthew Lillard’s character, grief-stricken as he waits in his jail cell, to another one a few doors down, where there’s this man who is painted black, sitting motionless and contorted. Then he vanishes. Then his head floats away like a balloon. No explanation given.<br /><br />I made a video in case you need a refresher.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/224017403" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Even though the woodsman has appeared again — and done more horrifying things than just vanish — it’s this one that has stuck with me, and I wanted to take the piss out of it. That’s why I acted on the suggestion that it could be greatly improved by the addition of a slide whistle.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/224018051" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>It was, in fact.<br /><br />That’s why I asked Tony (<a href="https://twitter.com/thetonyrodrig?lang=en">Tony</a>!) to further improve the sequence with voices. <br /><br />Here is that.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/224025614?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">See? Not scary anymore. I fixed it. I think you will agree. You’re welcome.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH69cWqD1WdYZDrmkBpU6UOs7quOj-CrtjTvzHfx1ed6SqZLOxWBwKHKoGg_yDQAFARZCxvrP1AVv1yIkJv69Q74hyB7wsbXqchAp6TJVciZOseXiEbCmZuCTrhiVfx1B0litqpxoU0kE/s1600/woodsman_jail_twin_peaks.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="923" data-original-width="1323" height="446" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH69cWqD1WdYZDrmkBpU6UOs7quOj-CrtjTvzHfx1ed6SqZLOxWBwKHKoGg_yDQAFARZCxvrP1AVv1yIkJv69Q74hyB7wsbXqchAp6TJVciZOseXiEbCmZuCTrhiVfx1B0litqpxoU0kE/s640/woodsman_jail_twin_peaks.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />Not even scary in the slightest. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-61291867806652030922017-06-02T20:04:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:46.573-07:00David Lynch Explains David Lynch (Sorta)David Lynch doesn’t want me to write this. He didn’t say so, exactly, and I have no personal relationship with the guy. But over the years, he’s made it clear that he does not want to explain his work — and he’d rather you and I didn’t attempt a single, encompassing explanation for it either.<br /><br />“When something is abstract, the abstraction is hard to put into words, unless you’re a poet,” he told an audience <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkIQy0iblQE" target="_blank">during a 2007 Q&A</a> that might mark David Lynch at his most self-explanatory. “But these [are] ideas you somehow know, and cinema is a language that can say abstractions. I love stories, but I love stories that hold abstractions. And cinema can say these difficult-to-say-in-words things.” Lynch goes on to say that he often doesn’t understand the meaning of his ideas, and he didn’t even understand the meaning of <i>Eraserhead</i>, perhaps his most abstract work, when he was making it. But it doesn’t matter, because he’d rather you found an “inner knowingness” — a sort of idiosyncratic translation of his own idiosyncratic system of symbols.<br /><br />All that said, I think Lynch lets on more than some people might guess. Perhaps as a result of him opening up his unconscious mind and letting all that mind goop flow out uninhibited, he’s revealing more substantial, meaty bits than even he may realize. Now, I’m aware of the arrogance involved in taking an artist’s work and claiming to perceive his or her true intent, especially when you haven’t asked about it directly, so I’m simply going to leave this here with the following note: “Hey, isn’t this a neat way to look at David Lynch’s work?”<br /><br />My thesis is this: In several works, David Lynch would seem to be suggesting a critique on interpretation, and in each of them he does this using the metaphor of a performance or other such viewed entertainment.<br /><br /><b style="font-size: x-large;">Lil the Dancing Girl</b><br /><br />My first example of this is a brief scene from <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, in which regional FBI director Gordon Dole (Lynch himself) greets Agent Desmond (Chris Isaak). Rather than explain the specifics of the case for which Desmond has flown to Oregon to investigate, Lynch introduces Lil (Kimberly Ann Cole), his “mother’s sister’s girl,” who performs a bizarre dance.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/-dNwFVk68PI" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><br />Later, Desmond and Agent Stanley (Keifer Sutherland) are driving away, and Stanley asks what was up with Lil. Without hesitation, Desmond explains away each unusual facet of Lil’s appearance and dance as meaning something important to the case.<br /><ul><li>Lil’s sour face = problems with local authorities</li><li>Lil’s blinking eyes = “trouble higher up”</li><li>Lil keeping one hand in her pocket = authorities hiding something</li><li>Lil’s other hand being clenched = authorities would be belligerent</li><li>Lil walking in place = legwork</li><li>Cole’s reference to Lil being his “mother’s sister’s girl” and placing four fingers over his face = the sheriff’s uncle is in federal prison</li><li>Lil’s dress being tailored = a code for drugs</li><li>Lil wearing a blue rose pinned to her dress = “I can’t tell you about that” (and indeed, in the new series, we are still left wondering exactly what the blue rose might signify)</li></ul>Even in the world of <i>Twin Peaks</i>, it seems improbable that Desmond was able to interpret all these things so quickly and clearly. I suppose it’s possible that Cole might have instructed him in his own personal language of signs, but I think it’s maybe also true that Lynch is having some fun with the viewer, especially the type of viewer who watched and re-watched the original series and attempted to read meaning into every loose end, every abstract detail. In the absurd world of the show, every aspect of Lil’s dance does mean something — and, in the end, most of what Desmond deduces from the dance turns out to be correct, it should be noted. And while this moves the plot along, I also think Lynch is perhaps making a joke about the way some people might scrutinize every little detail as opposed to taking in the whole of a given work, more like you’d take in a painting, less like you’d take in a traditional narrative.<br /><br /><b style="font-size: x-large;">No Hay Banda</b><br /><br />I feel like Lynch could be making a similar comment with the Club Silencio scene in <i>Mulholland Drive</i>. Whereas Lil’s dance comprises only a small part of <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, the Club Silencio sequence may be the most pivotal in all of <i>Mulholland Drive</i>. And whereas I think the Lil scene is mostly meant as a joke, I think Lynch is talking the idea a bit further and saying, “No, don’t do this. Instead, do this.”<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yRpmNgaJ41U" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><br />A quick and dirty recap: Betty (Naomi Watts) and Rita (Laura Elena Harring) attend a late-night show at jazz club where they are repeatedly made to watch performances then are reminded that the thing they think they’re seeing is not actually happening. The host (Richard Green, credited as “The Magician”) keeps introducing different instruments and then telling the audience that there is no such instrument, no actual band, no orchestra. Betty and everyone else is only hearing a recording, no matter how real it may seem. Eventually the host vanishes, and Rebekeh Del Rio (credited as herself) steps onstage to sing a Spanish version of Roy Orbison’s “Crying.” Midway through the song, she collapses, yet the song continues. It’s implied that she was only lip-syncing.<br /><br />Again, I’ve always interpreted this as David Lynch’s way of telling the audience not to get hung up on the details. Just as it’s absurdist comedy for Agent Desmond to read such specific details into Lil’s dance, the Club Silencio sequence discourages you from thinking that the bare components of the performance — the one Betty is watching onstage, the movie you are watching in real life — should be taken at anything more than face value. Betty and Rita don’t follow this advice, however; they are both moved to tears by “Llorando,” and at one point Betty starts shaking violently, maybe as a result of intense emotion she’s feeling. In fact, when they arrive back home after the show, both cease to exist, and the movie enters its bizarre, plot-bending final third.<br /><br />There’s a lot more to consider in this scene. Perhaps most notably is one of the film’s final images: the blue-haired woman watching from the opera box speaking the word “silencio” one last time. It’s been theorized in various analyses that this could either represent “Quiet in the theater,” because you’re about to begin the “real” performance of piecing together your own interpretation of <i>Mulholland Drive</i>, or “Quiet on the set,” because you’re about to begin making the “real” movie of living your life. We don’t know, even all these years later. It’s worth mentioning, I feel, that the DVD printing of <i>Mulholland Drive</i> includes <a href="http://www.mulholland-drive.net/studies/10clues.htm" target="_blank">ten clues to unlock the film’s mystery</a>, but I’m not sure they would lead anyone to any singular, concrete understanding. I think Lynch wants us to sit with it, think about it, consider and then re-consider it. This should not be a thing that is quickly processed.<br /><br /><b style="font-size: x-large;">Tracey Has Two Lattes</b><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1fP3LIMgT9Vx1KtnrOswIX6KYAVXfNn-841Hc8YMAyEkU9sYDNbl_m8eVaZAu3Ev6AZ-wIvkkuUHIRYaQDxACCgWgZtsTX-QCUaGCid6PyhTYQ2Q9SoqsL_uVrzFQyW-Ey8Ft89PX4uo/s1600/tracey-sam-twin-peaks-glass-box.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="tracey sam twin peaks glass box scene" border="0" data-original-height="886" data-original-width="1600" height="354" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1fP3LIMgT9Vx1KtnrOswIX6KYAVXfNn-841Hc8YMAyEkU9sYDNbl_m8eVaZAu3Ev6AZ-wIvkkuUHIRYaQDxACCgWgZtsTX-QCUaGCid6PyhTYQ2Q9SoqsL_uVrzFQyW-Ey8Ft89PX4uo/s640/tracey-sam-twin-peaks-glass-box.png" title="madeline zima twin peaks" width="640" /></a></div><br />And then we have the new <i>Twin Peaks</i>. Probably the most talked-about scene from the four episodes occurred in the first episode. It features two characters, Tracey Barbarato (Madeline Zima) and Sam Colby (Benjamin Rosenfield) in New York, in a strange, living room-like setup situated around a mysterious glass box.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a>Quick and dirty again: Sam is paid to watch the box and adjust cameras around it. He’s not allowed to bring anyone else in, but when the security guard on duty apparently leaves, Sam agrees to show the contraption to Tracey. They only watch for a few seconds. Very quickly, they begin making out. Tracey takes off her clothes and they begin to have sex, oblivious to the fact that some abstract humanoid shape (possibly female?) materializes in the box. Before they can react, the creature bursts through the glass, killing both in a spectacular and bloody fashion. A lot of people have interpreted the scene as a metaphor for watching TV, watching a film at home or the experience of Twin Peaks in general. (It’s relevant to the last interpretation that episode two features Agent Cooper appearing in the box, getting enlarged and reduced, and then being spat out, which you could take as Agent Cooper and the show in general escaping the confines of traditional network TV.)<br /><br />I think these are valid interpretations, but my first reaction to the scene was <a href="http://gawker.com/340930/david-lynch-hates-your-iphone" target="_blank">David Lynch’s 2008 condemnation</a> of the way so many people experience movies today: distractedly and on an iPhone or other such handheld device. “You will never in a trillion years experience the film,” he says of watching cinema in this format. “You’ll be cheated.”<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wKiIroiCvZ0" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><br />Tracey and Sam keep their smart phones in their pockets, but they sure seem like the kind of people who’d be tethered to their iPhones — that is, you know, young people. They also do a very bad job of paying attention to the show in front of them, and you might say that Lynch punishes their inattention with death. (Or maybe he’s punishing sex with death, but come on: This is the guy who had the <i>Mulholland Drive</i> DVD printed as one long chapter. He wants you to sit patiently though his films, start to finish.)<br /><br />Listening to <a href="https://art19.com/shows/twin-peaks-podcast/episodes/2b5a6972-a6a8-4699-96b1-fbb09937d438" target="_blank">Jeff Jensen’s <i>Twin Peaks</i> podcast</a> about this episode, I heard another decent theory. Starting around the 35:10 mark, Jensen says, “You kind of wonder if it’s the show talking to us about how to watch the show, or maybe even talking about itself and our relationship to the show and to TV in general and the changing nature of our relationship to TV in the twenty-five years since <i>Twin Peaks</i> has been on the air.”<br /><br />There’s more at 39:20: “What I got from this almost immediately… is this weird allegory for TV-watching. A couch potato sitting on his couch, staring into this box, waiting for something to materialize, something that might come through that portal window. We have a complicated metaphor for <i>Twin Peaks</i> itself — a vision from outside of the world that’s about to materialize inside this box. <br /><br />So in that sense, we’re encouraged to identify with Sam, as a viewer who’s unsure what he’s about to see at the same time as we embark on this eighteen-hour odyssey through the new <i>Twin Peaks</i>. So what happens next? They literally get their heads blown off, but this is maybe meant as a metaphor as well as a literal death. Again, from the podcast (and starting at the 48:06 mark): “You get the sense that it’s just whipping their faces, just shredding their faces, just blowing their minds against the wall. And they’re not screaming. They’re almost just passive as their doing it. You can read it in so many ways, including this visceral metaphor for a show that wants to get in your face and get in your face and blow your mind.” And because the lead-up to Tracey and Sam’s violent end is slow drawn out, you can take it a bit further: “If it’s the show talking about itself, it’s instructing us that it’s a show that you’re going to have to be patient with, that you’re going to have to watch, that it’s going to take its time taking shape and form, much like the thing in that box.”<br /><br />This all seems plausible enough, but if it’s the correct interpretation, then it would mark a break from similar scenes in previous David Lynch works, in that the details do matter. As it turns out, Jensen himself got to ask Lynch about this theory directly <a href="http://ew.com/tv/2017/05/26/twin-peaks-david-lynch/" target="_blank">in a May 26 interview</a>.<br /><blockquote class="tr_bq"><i>JJ: Were you trying to give the audience an allegory for TV-watching or how to watch the show?</i><br /><i><br /></i> <i>DL: No. But that’s an interesting way to think about it.</i><br /><i><br /></i> <i>JJ: Do you think in terms of allegory or meta?</i><br /><i><br /></i> <i>DL: Not really. Ideas just come, you think about them, and you figure out their meaning. Then, how they fit into the whole is another thing completely. It’s not finished until it’s finished, and you don’t really know until further down the road how one thing relates to another. It’s just like a magical thing. I also always say the whole thing exists in another room as a complete puzzle, all the parts are together, and someone from that other room is sort of a rascal and randomly flips parts over into this room. And then you to have to put the puzzle together, but one is from the end of the story, one is from the middle, and a couple from the beginning, and you won’t know until it’s more formed what it could be.</i></blockquote>That’s Lynch being evasive, yet again, but it’s also him not directly pooh-poohing the theory outright. However, let’s step aside for a moment and assume that Lynch wouldn’t change up his running theory of how to watch his work. I think there’s maybe an analysis that incorporates a bit of my gut reaction to the scene as well as the podcast theory.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Tracey and Sam die, and before they do they’re so taken with the vision of this creature in the box that they stand utterly still once it breaks out and kills them. As it’s noted in the podcast, they don’t resist; they just sit there while Mrs. No Face slashes away at them. What if this is David Lynch, consciously or not, giving us the same message as I think he’s giving, in different ways, in <i>Fire Walk With Me</i> and <i>Mulholland Drive</i>? “No one thing you’re seeing is that important. Don’t obsess over the details. Stay for the whole thing and take it all in.” Our ill-fated latte lovers don’t do this. They get rattled by the first scary thing they see — and, really, the people watching these new episodes see — and they literally lose their heads. (There’s a pic of the end result, as we see in the third episode, but be forewarned <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoJJep996PJTnRlI6QGaPuEoEZIneY-A2X11Q4Mj0Ypxi1mxnh0gMNYUqw6X9f9YUZsLFQgPwG-rUExkDIZvmBgIz09L63km14H0aa0AO7jyfL99qZQpWsSK0GRIMNW-zBawwGmtAhfHk/s1600/tracey-sam-twin-peaks-glass-box-death.png">it’s graphic</a>.) If we’re going to appreciate the new <i>Twin Peaks</i> for what it is, we’ll need to be in for the long haul, and we’re should prepare ourselves for some seriously scary shit. But endure, faithful viewers, because it’s all going to add up to something big: what it means to us as individuals.<br /><br />I’m trying to think of other scenes of performances in Lynch’s work. There’s the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivqvobC9sm8" target="_blank">Lady in the Radiator scene</a> in <i>Eraserhead</i>, there’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QBl-BuEIV8" target="_blank">Julee Cruise singing in the Roadhouse</a>, and there’s even the curious <i>Twin Peaks </i>end credits scene showcasing <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9evIit7YS8" target="_blank">Gersten Hayward on the piano</a>. I don’t know if there’s a way that these scenes also support my theory, and I don’t even know if my take on David Lynch will even make sense to anyone else. But I do know I can’t stop thinking about this scene, and I’d love to hear what you all have to say about it. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-85032997530107175492017-05-22T12:50:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:46.923-07:00Any Workout Video Can Be Pornography, I GuessI just this week realized that I neglected to post and share a video I made late last year. It’s nothing major—just a silly thing I cranked out while at home for the holidays. I strung together a bunch of vintage workout clips and then paired them with the theme to the Dario Argento slasher movie <i>Tenebre.</i><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="358" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/193134286?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />The song may be more familiar to you as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCVO4EE60ZY" target="_blank">“Phantom,”</a> a remake by Justice.<br /><br />I’d intended to use this footage as part of <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2017/02/all-colors-of-night.html" target="_blank">my horror movie video project</a>, but in the end that veered in a different direction, and I didn’t have a place for this. In any case, I think the idea came to me while working out at the gym and watching one of the TVs play an episode of <i>Bones</i> in which this poor guy was reduced down to the smallest possible human fragments. Something about exercising my own body while being confronted by the inevitable conclusion of all human bodies seemed funny, so here you go: slasher music + workout videos.<br /><br />In scouring YouTube for any usable footage from the right era and in a high enough resolution, however, I realize I may have included some segments that aren’t actually design to instruct you how to exercise. I think they may actually be gay softcore. You can see the segments at 0:59, 1:30, 1:51 and a lot of other places. <br /><br />Am I crazy? Or am I revealing more about myself in how I don’t see any eroticism in this and not in any of the footage of women bending and flexing in their leotards? (Guys, I think I might be gay…?)<br /><br />Here are the original clips in full.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/218514697?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />Like, this is basically porn, right? It lacks frontal nudity or actual sex, but it’s designed to titillate more than it is to get the viewer into any kind of physical shape. Right? Aside form erect. Right? Also is it gay, necessarily, or is it just the style of the time, which reads as gay today? I am totally unable to tell.<br /><br />In trying to identify what these videos might have been called, I did find one more that I hadn’t seen before. It’s exactly as ambiguously gay and porny as the others.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/XipsX6gZJqE?showinfo=0" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><br />Your input is welcome. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-38917014748489125002017-05-17T10:52:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:47.272-07:00Marion / MarionI’ll blame <i>Twin Peaks</i> for this. I’ve had <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2017/03/every-instance-of-doubling-on-twin-peaks.html" target="_blank">doubles on my brain</a> for months now, but at least I’ve managed to make something of it.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/217804463?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />Also, I have a bold declaration: I actually like the 1998 remake of <i>Psycho</i>. I don’t think it was necessary, exactly, because the original was no less great in 1998 than it was in 1960, but the Gus Van Sant version makes sense, thematically speaking.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><i>Twin Peaks</i> may rack up more lookalikes and opposites just by virtue of having a greater overall runtime, but <i>Psycho</i> packs more of them in, scene for scene. It’s there even in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhuS2dlx2l0" target="_blank">the Saul Bass opening credits</a>: the screen gets slashed by horizontal lines and then by vertical ones. And that horizontal-vertical contrast continues throughout the movie, from <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nf3D0AGZkU" target="_blank">the opening scene</a>, with Marion (Janet Leigh) in bed and Sam (John Gavin) standing next to her, to the layout of the Bates property—a multistory house that towers over a lateral sprawl of a hotel. You could say it’s there in Marion’s murder itself. Stabbing a person is, in a sense, a very violent intersection of perpendicular elements.<br /><br />This mix of opposites extends to the movie’s core four characters, I’ve always thought. After Marion dies midway through the film, she gets replaced by her sister, Lila (Vera Miles), who looks like Marion but seems more sensible. We get the sense that Marion is impulsive and flighty, and that the theft of the money that propels the plot is maybe just a spur-of-the-moment decision she made. Lila, by contrast, seems conservative — more mother than child, though I realize that’s a weird way to describe it in this context. Sam and Norman look alike too, but whereas Sam is smooth, Norman is twitchy. Both characters are driven to action by a sexual attraction to Marion; Sam follows her from Phoenix to the dusty backroads of California, and Norman murders her. Killing Marion off is the big surprise, but it’s also surprising that the characters we learn most about first, Marion and Norman, turn out to be the “wrong” versions of the “straighter” Lila and Sam.<br /><br />In a similar way, I’ve always thought of the Gus Van Sant version as a weird twin to the Alfred Hitchcock version. The variations are subtle. If Janet Leigh’s Marion was flighty, she was also oddly grave in the way she seemed to process her crime. The Anne Heche Marion seems even further out, and watching her movie, I get a sense that she may get a thrill out of the whole thing that I don’t get when I watch the original. Viggo Mortensen’s Sam seems seedier, though that could just be his clothes. But when he interacts with the Julianne Moore Lila later in the film, I feel like he has designs for her even before they know Marion is dead. (I know, I know—neither Lila made the cut for this, which is too bad, because I love the character. And then in <i>Psycho 2</i>, poor Vera Miles gets all dressed up to play Lila again and ends up getting <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp9v_1IpxII" target="_blank">stabbed in the mouth</a>. For what it’s worth, she did end up marrying Sam.) Finally, whereas a first-time viewer of the original might not immediately peg Anthony Perkins’ Norman as the person named in the title, Vince Vaughn plays the character as creepier from the get-go. (He masturbates while watching Marion in the shower; Norman does not.) And that difference in characterization makes sense; anyone who watched the remake already knew who Norman Bates was, but also it’s Vince Vaughn.<br /><br />I don’t remember exactly when I got the idea to make this video, but at some point I just became charmed with the idea of thinking about the remake as an alternate version of the events, where things play out slightly differently, but the variation just isn’t enough for the characters to break out of the roles they’re assigned. And yeah, the movies do play differently. The 1998 <i>Psycho</i> may have been billed as a shot-for-shot remake, but Van Sant doesn’t adhere to that too strictly, even beyond allowances for the change in time period. Scenes are shot differently. Some run longer. And many times I had to crop a shot or change the tempo to make the two versions look like they were mirroring each other more than they actually were. <br /><br />In the end, however, all that is not enough to save poor Marion (either version) from getting into that motel shower at the end. And no, I didn’t bother to show that in this video. Everyone has seen that a million times. I was more interested in looking at Marion while she’s still alive.<br /><br />This is my third video project. <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/09/rewind-80s-mix.html" target="_blank">“Rewind”</a> was long and full of VHS static. <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2017/02/all-colors-of-night.html" target="_blank">“All the Colors of the Night”</a> was shorter, more focused and less with all the distortion. This one is only seven minutes long and has no VHS distortion. I didn’t even mess with the color on this one. <br /><br />I have big, weird plans for what I want to do next.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDLOevEB9w9eDSX-0aP0wYnKn3zkgkZx3OptqQy36hQ7qcjFjdXwISVlyw_xbOooYRrYWfqST5h-u2DnAVd_yDzNEZIsyrjwJI_M857akr6L_9PPay3KPwn3GZitYdau9cUdwhrx-3-Yk/s1600/marion-crane-janet-leigh-anne-heche.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="janet leigh anne heche marion psycho remake" border="0" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDLOevEB9w9eDSX-0aP0wYnKn3zkgkZx3OptqQy36hQ7qcjFjdXwISVlyw_xbOooYRrYWfqST5h-u2DnAVd_yDzNEZIsyrjwJI_M857akr6L_9PPay3KPwn3GZitYdau9cUdwhrx-3-Yk/s640/marion-crane-janet-leigh-anne-heche.png" title="" width="640" /></a></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-89454214308589379072017-04-22T13:02:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:47.631-07:001984’s Best Song About Being Ejaculated UponHere, please watch the video for Vanity’s 1984 pop song “Pretty Mess,” which is not just sexual in nature but unusually specific in the type of sex it seems to be celebrating. Have a look and listen for yourself.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/213920747?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />“Pretty Mess” is not a good song, exactly, but you have to admit it’s efficient in communicating its message. if there were any doubts about what Vanity is singing about, those would be tidily removed by the video, which manages at least six metaphors for genitalia and the substances that come out of genitalia. These metaphors are as follows:<br /><ul><li>at 1:06, Vanity getting showered in white feathers</li><li>at 1:26, the female bartender dripping honey all over the counter</li><li>at 2:04, Vanity getting showered with champagne that’s gushing out of the bottle</li><li>at 2:37, Vanity attempting to catch a white throw pillow (and notably failing to catch it)</li><li>at 3:02, Vanity dancing at the rear of a long, arguably flesh-colored hallway while singing “and then he found a hallway that went all the way”</li><li>at 3:08, Vanity and her male companion getting showered in white confetti</li></ul>And that list excludes the references made in the lyrics but not accompanied by a visual metaphor: “boiling like a kettle,” “dripping like a hot tea” and the strange line “he pulled a seam and it went all the way,” in which Vanity runs the “and” into the “seam” so it kind of sounds like she’s saying “semen.”<br /><br />I’d imagine that if you were in your car listening to the radio during the few weeks “Pretty Mess” would have been getting airplay back in 1984 and you were just hearing the lyrics, you might ask yourself, “Wait, is she singing about getting jizzed on?” But if you were watching the video, the message would be clear: Yes, she really is singing about getting jizzed on. I liken it to Grace Jones’ 1981 track “Pull Up to the Bumper,” which seems like it’s about having sex with a guy with a big black dick but which Jones herself <a href="http://www.digitalspy.com/music/news/a138872/grace-jones-dispels-bumper-sex-myth/" target="_blank">insists is not the case</a>. It’s maybe even funnier for Jones to pretend that she just made a song about parking a car, but the video at least <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tc1IphRx1pk" target="_blank">keeps it ambiguous</a>: It’s just Grace Jones dancing onstage, superimposed on images of traffic. <br /><br />Not that there’s anything wrong with writing and performing a song about getting ejaculated upon, I suppose.<br /><br />People who have been reading this blog for a while might remember that <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2010/07/pretty-mess-is-filthy-song-for.html" target="_blank">I wrote about “Pretty Mess” before</a>. However, since that posting, the video disappeared from the internet. I’m posting this today because I finally found the video again but also because looking back on the original post, I hate the way I talked about this song. The post title was “‘Pretty Mess’ Is a Filthy Song for Prostitutes,” and I was implying that Vanity shouldn’t have made this song. If I thought this back then, I no longer think so now. I love that she made this song, bad as it is, and I think we can celebrate it in the context of “Wow, can you believe this song got made? Can you believe she got away with this video?” And it’s all the more notable when you consider that “Pretty Mess” was Vanity’s first solo single after dropping out of Vanity 6, the girl group assembled by Prince and the group responsible for the 1982 hit “Nasty Girl.” As Prince was wont to do, he gave Vanity her stage name, though it the context of this song, it’s notable to point out that she <a href="http://people.com/archive/her-romance-with-prince-hit-the-rocks-but-vanitys-singing-career-is-going-grrr-eat-vol-22-no-16/" target="_blank">told <i>People</i></a> in 1984 that he initially wanted to dub her “Vagina.” Even considering how forthright sexuality was a part of Vanity’s persona since the beginning of her music career, “Pretty Mess” still seems remarkable in how blatantly it discusses the matter at hand. (Or you know, at other body parts.)<br /><br />So please, pop singers of the future, if you feel inclined to write further songs about being ejaculated upon, feel free to do so. It doesn’t seem like a tall order to make a jizz-positive song that’s better than this one.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a>Miscellaneous notes:<br /><ul><li>Ten years after “Pretty Mess,” Vanity overdosed and nearly died. She subsequently converted to born-again Christianity and cut all ties with the music industry. In Matthew Rettenmund’s book <i>Totally Awesome 80s</i>, Vanity is quoted as saying, “When I came to the Lord Jesus Christ, I threw out about 1,000 tapes of mine—interview, every tape, every video, everything.”</li><li>I don’t know if it’s even possible, but I wonder if her decision to distance herself from her music career had something to do with the “Pretty Mess” video suddenly becoming unavailable online. For a few years, you just could not find this video, when it was easy to find before that. This struck me as weird. “Pretty Mess” was a Motown Records release that did kinda-sorta okay on the <i>Billboard</i> charts, after all, and it’s odd to have a video for a major release such as this just vanish. I’d periodically look for it—often propelled to do so after exclaiming something along the lines of “Oh my god, you have to see the video for this song”—and it has only returned following <a href="https://consequenceofsound.net/2016/02/r-i-p-vanity-frontwoman-of-vanity-6-and-prince-protege-dead-at-57/">Vanity’s death in February 2016</a>. At the very least, I can hope that other people looking for it end up here.</li><li>Another explanation for its unavailability online? It’s just not that great of a song. At several points during the song, Vanity sounds like Miss Piggy in heat, and I apologize if me pointing this out damages your mental image of Miss Piggy.</li><li>Pop songs about ejaculation <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/19ili7/nsfw_what_are_some_songs_about_ejaculation/#bottom-comments" target="_blank">seem to be rare</a>, and those about ejaculate specifically even more so.</li><li>I’m unclear whether Vanity wrote “Pretty Mess.” The Wikipedia page <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pretty_Mess" target="_blank">credits her</a> as the sole writer, while the page for the album <i>Wild Animal</i> <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_Animal" target="_blank">credits Bill Wolfer</a>. I like the song more if I think that she chose to write and perform it herself, rather than some man handing it to her and saying, “It’s a song about spooge. You’re singing it now.”</li><li>Vanity plays the female lead in <i>Enter the Dragon</i>, but her acting career began before Prince’s involvement in her life. Notably, she play, the girl in the sexy Egyptian girl costume in the 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis slasher <i>Terror Train</i>, which means that she and David Copperfield share a movie credit. (She’s credited as D.D. Winters, though she was born Denise Katrina Matthews.)</li><li>I can’t tell if Vanity is also playing the female bartender into the video or if the actress cast just looks like her. Anyone?</li><li>Vanity’s love interest in the video suggests a hypothetical love child created by Limahl and a lesbian New Wave amazon.</li></ul><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho9GPvsMJN8zjPZGaPO2pVq0zAgJsmQpdL0ZqYKbMeU2MuE5GVoGCSFtewXU5LStihNp-WUWnNRhKPJwmdGvMIsRMF6WoJsAjf4R_Qx6fQLiQi1ZSYszWv2isQ37hfGrceCwe0tkbp1_Q/s1600/vanity-pretty-mess-video.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEho9GPvsMJN8zjPZGaPO2pVq0zAgJsmQpdL0ZqYKbMeU2MuE5GVoGCSFtewXU5LStihNp-WUWnNRhKPJwmdGvMIsRMF6WoJsAjf4R_Qx6fQLiQi1ZSYszWv2isQ37hfGrceCwe0tkbp1_Q/s640/vanity-pretty-mess-video.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />Bonus video tidbit: Speaking of Prince muses who have surprisingly literal music videos, have you ever seen the video for Sheena Easton’s “Morning Train”? It's more or less what you might expect until you realize that the dude she’s singing about is actually the train conductor. He takes the train because his job is driving the train.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/76wW2KASmtA?showinfo=0" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><br />That’s... weird, right?kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-15159552283416540312017-04-18T11:51:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:47.981-07:00Duckface RevisitedA few years back I wrote a post that I think of as <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2011/03/farewell-and-waterfowl.html" target="_blank">the “Duckface, Drew Mackie” post</a>. Some of you do as well. In fact, more often than you’d expect, I get people arriving at my blog by searching for the term “duckface drew mackie.” It’s funny enough, this original post. The long and short of it was that I accidentally signed an email “Duckface, Drew Mackie” rather than “Thanks, Drew Mackie,” and then <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2011/04/duckface-saga-continued_21.html" target="_blank">I further embarrassed myself</a> in the presence of this person in ways that indicate that I shouldn’t use email anymore. In any case, both posts featured a screengrab of Walter “Duckface” Berman, Stephanie’s nerdy classmate on <i>Full House</i>, because that was the obvious visual aid to use.<br /><br />Because the internet is weird and unpredictable, that image took off, and a lot of other people have subsequently used it on other platforms and linked back to me or credited me. As a result, I get periodic reminders that yes, that is an image I made and posted. For a few years, it also showed up <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=%22drew+mackie%22&espv=2&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjipcu4yK7TAhVhyVQKHczEC3IQ_AUIBygC&biw=934&bih=478" target="_blank">when you google my name</a>, though I’d like to point out that that is not me. That is the actor Whit Hertford, who would later become the kid that <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/declancashin/that-doesnt-look-very-scary" target="_blank">Sam Neill both impresses and terrifies</a> with a raptor claw in <i>Jurassic Park</i>. But as Duckface, as an image that I featured on my blog years ago, he’s just become a persistent part of my internet presence. <br /><br />Last night, I posted something on Facebook. And it got a reply.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6nRUCokN7oma9_RvJkcfNWTj_fUD1rqWTyP-D6aOLeRSvX6rrQ1_PYOVQ1PPNl-AokLWHMYXWg1AYNHDnyYUEiV9yyapxRWtMdaFwiiPOwLQWs_tME3CAxxaQEHdq4ndDnTHHh0RSi9g/s1600/duckfface1.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6nRUCokN7oma9_RvJkcfNWTj_fUD1rqWTyP-D6aOLeRSvX6rrQ1_PYOVQ1PPNl-AokLWHMYXWg1AYNHDnyYUEiV9yyapxRWtMdaFwiiPOwLQWs_tME3CAxxaQEHdq4ndDnTHHh0RSi9g/s640/duckfface1.png" width="359" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg25YsTC2RnYQI9-887GJodNwzIxuIN7Luw9JH3N4kebIzgSv3hmDdJeJfOBeMT3nODv2db6zkYejq5Rsg5N3C_pmIWPEKJgr4XCBfQGhmpPvKCKGwRb13pVXjfHnpPbsaj95kqq0Bbm0o/s1600/duckface2.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg25YsTC2RnYQI9-887GJodNwzIxuIN7Luw9JH3N4kebIzgSv3hmDdJeJfOBeMT3nODv2db6zkYejq5Rsg5N3C_pmIWPEKJgr4XCBfQGhmpPvKCKGwRb13pVXjfHnpPbsaj95kqq0Bbm0o/s640/duckface2.png" width="356" /></a></div><br /><br />I’m not posting this to brag about a glancing interaction with *the* original Duckface himself, although that totally wasn’t something I had expected would happen yesterday. I’m sharing this little nothing of an anecdote because I want to convey to you how strange it is to be a human being in Los Angeles when you’ve grown up on a steady diet of pop culture, when you primarily interact with the world via the internet and when you realize that you’ve ended up in the same geographic area as most of the bit players from your childhood. It’s strange to encounter an image of a person again and again and maybe disconnect that image from the living, breathing person who appears in it to the point that you forget that he went on to play other roles and also does things independent from an acting career. (You know, like use Facebook in the exact way everyone else does.) And it’s strange to see that person—say, in line at the grocery store or just online on Facebook or maybe Minkus from <i>Boy Meets World</i> gets the last ticket to a show you’re trying to get into, because that is also a thing that happened once—and to have the internal reaction of “Oh! I know you!” only to have that immediately followed by “No, wait. I don’t at all. I’ve just seen you. In fact, I’ve seen you but you haven’t seen me,” and that’s a normal thing because that’s how TV and movies work. <br /><br />It’s just all weird, when you think about it.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidrqbERs8MEZE_QlQrKpdfWp3V8w0owcXPEhE_R-gUaxiz_p1yHl_uJPK5gXBIIgPfatBLBHjrN2rEFZeosT1MN4dK8iPAuIfYA8hSyK__KkwE8BAft0IVX9LYIvADx75wBhgSemNhIfw/s1600/duckface-full-house.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidrqbERs8MEZE_QlQrKpdfWp3V8w0owcXPEhE_R-gUaxiz_p1yHl_uJPK5gXBIIgPfatBLBHjrN2rEFZeosT1MN4dK8iPAuIfYA8hSyK__KkwE8BAft0IVX9LYIvADx75wBhgSemNhIfw/s1600/duckface-full-house.jpg" /></a></div><br /><br />Duckface,<br />Drew Mackie kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-50950593365188197782017-03-27T14:39:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:48.330-07:00I Have Some Questions About Beauty and the BeastIf you are like me, you greeted the trailer for the live action <i>Beauty and the Beast</i> with sentiments along the lines of “Okay, they’re doing this now. This is a thing they are doing.” But then you went and saw it anyway, and its attempt to translate the original story into a kinda-sorta-maybe more realistic world left you with questions you did not have when you saw the animated version. (Never mind that you were nine when you saw the animated version and that your thought processes at the time were more focused on <i>Tiny Toons</i> than anything else.)<br /><br />Here are those questions, in no particular order.<br /><br />How many people live in this goddamned castle?<br /><br />Like, are there just scads of servants-turned-talking furniture laying dormant until it’s time for the “Be Our Guest” number? And are they otherwise allowing most of the talking and moving to be performed by Cogswoth and Lumiere and the other A-list furniture?<br /><br />Even then, wouldn’t this caste would have to be mostly bedrooms under normal, non-sentiment furniture circumstances?<br /><br />Doesn’t it seem like someone would have spoken the Beast’s real name at some point?<br /><br />Like, if I left the theater being fully aware that Belle’s horse was named Philippe, because it’s mentioned several times, shouldn’t I have also heard what the Beast’s name was, pre-curse?<br /><br />Do you think Belle and the Beast had to go out and buy new housewares after all their stuff reverted back to humans?<br /><br />Or do you think there was, like, an old set of dishes that the Beast put in storage upon arrival of the sentient dishware?<br /><br />Would sentient dishes be pleasant to use? Or would that be weird?<br /><br />Wouldn’t it make more sense to maybe use the old dishes as dishes and not eat food off your friends and coworkers?<br /><br />Do you think the castle servants developed some really weird fetishes while being used as furniture and housewares and all that?<br /><br />Do you think that, for example, someone who had been turned into a couch would subsequently feel compelled to make people sit on him for long periods of time?<br /><br />Why wasn’t there a singing toilet?<br /><br />If there had been a sentient toilet, do you think Belle would have used him? Or would she have maybe gone to the bathroom outside, just because she felt bad about it?<br /><br />What if the toilet begged Belle to use him?<br /><br />What if Belle only found out months into her imprisonment that the toilet was sentient after all, and she was all, “Wait, why didn’t you say anything?”<br /><br />Why was the singing wardrobe given narcolepsy as a character trait? Is there some connection between wardrobes and sleep disorders that I’m not getting?<br /><br />What if when the Beast reverted to the human form, Belle broke up with him because it turns out she was only into guys who were covered in hair and had horns?<br /><br />What if that water buffalo fetish maybe made more sense, seeing how the Beast’s personality is generally terrible?<br /><br />Wouldn’t Mr. Potts have just gone out and married someone else if he’d forgotten that he had a wife?<br /><br />Wouldn’t people in town have wondered why they had, for example, clothes and personal effects in their house that didn’t belong to any family member they could remember? <br /><br />So if the enchantress has crazy magical powers and can distort reality, why is she spending her spare time living like a bag lady?<br /><br />Not but really—what possible reason could the enchantress have for dressing like she’s homeless and hanging out in a town that is defined by being mundane and provincial? Unless she’s watching the townspeople go about their fake lives and not remembering the loved ones who are trapped in the Beast’s castle and have been transformed into sentient furniture?<br /><br />Wouldn’t it be a hundred times more interesting to hang out in the castle with all the magical talking furniture?<br /><br />Wouldn’t it also give her a better perspective on the Beast and how well he’s dealing with the curse that was specifically designed to punish him for his bad behavior?<br /><br />Wait a fucking minute—if this enchantress is in in the business of punishing people and also hangs out in town, wouldn’t she do something about that asshole Gaston? Like, wouldn’t she use her magic to punish the vain man who treats everyone badly, since doing exactly that is what cursed the Beast and transformed the servants and made the town forget the castle existed and, you know, propelled the whole plot?<br /><br />Why do you think the writers of this film made the effort to explain away one of the potholes from the first movie—that no one in Belle’s castle seemed to remember that big honkin’ castle that was a day’s horse ride away—but then wrote into the story an enchantress who can control reality but just inexplicably choses to do nothing for almost the entire movie?<br /><br />And finally (and most importantly), how did this film rob an impressionable young minds of a live-action glimpse at Gaston’s chest hair?<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFPHNHYYBsOumK_K6-cp7EkRP3Ts6O7x1K5JQWTTN00bA8gsC9wVLA0EySGu_enN8ScSd3Wkt4jntwXLZLLjWOSKkz74DjtYeJVnzPPJ323zS-8T-EGq26gWg2mBq2ZSLhKv183BG38xM/s1600/gaston-chest-hair-made-me-gay.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFPHNHYYBsOumK_K6-cp7EkRP3Ts6O7x1K5JQWTTN00bA8gsC9wVLA0EySGu_enN8ScSd3Wkt4jntwXLZLLjWOSKkz74DjtYeJVnzPPJ323zS-8T-EGq26gWg2mBq2ZSLhKv183BG38xM/s640/gaston-chest-hair-made-me-gay.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-65928066578151396142017-03-17T12:16:00.000-07:002021-05-14T18:46:48.683-07:00Every Instance of Doubling on Twin Peaks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">In mere weeks, we will get new episodes of <i>Twin Peaks.</i> It seems so strange to write that. Like Laura Palmer herself, <i>Twin Peaks</i> burned bright and then died young, and in the twenty-five years since the series finale, the show’s abrupt ending and unsolved cliffhangers have become as much a part of its lore as that backwards-talking little dude and Laura Palmer’s homecoming queen photo.</div><br />I recently restarted watching <i>Twin Peaks</i>, and it’s probably the fourth time I’ve watched the whole series in order, pilot episode to <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>. Every time I watch, I am reminded how often David Lynch uses doubling—mirroring, twinning, splitting, repeating or some other sense of turning one thing into two. It’s the most prominent theme on the show, and I thought it might be of interest if I collected every single instance I could think of in one post.<br /><br />Here, then is that list. (Here, then is that list.)<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHvIaZ5K1Q0UE61oBuUtwxy4GY4ZSGX33Fx85e7cC_YuPpkak1Hjan-i2zT9iTzJpa6eYOnDxazBQez4tHeFwm3nNe-fz4wu-DAgFHgy8rOPh9zDZN3ayv6BkwW8hKXIxLZ9_L5EKmwhM/s1600/twin-peaks-donna-audrey-bathroom.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="donna audrey bathroom twin peaks" border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHvIaZ5K1Q0UE61oBuUtwxy4GY4ZSGX33Fx85e7cC_YuPpkak1Hjan-i2zT9iTzJpa6eYOnDxazBQez4tHeFwm3nNe-fz4wu-DAgFHgy8rOPh9zDZN3ayv6BkwW8hKXIxLZ9_L5EKmwhM/s640/twin-peaks-donna-audrey-bathroom.png" title="" width="640" /></a></div><br /><b>The title of the show</b>. It’s right there in the name: There are some peaks, and there are two of them. However, the peaks themselves never become a major plot point on the show. Several natural settings do—Owl Cave, Glastonbury Grove and Ghostwood National Forest, to name a few—but no one ever visits the geographical formations that give the town its name. Given that Lynch had initially wanted to call the series <i>Northwest Passage</i>, I’d guess this was his way of saying right from the get-go, “Hey, doubling is going to be a big thing on this show. Pay attention.”<br /><br /><b>Laura Palmer</b>. She was essentially leading two lives: publicly as the popular good girl and privately as a tortured soul who used sex and drugs to cope with some heinous personal trauma. In that sense, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Laura_Palmer">Laura Palmer</a> (Sheryl Lee) was her own evil twin, and this idea gets literalized in the Red Room, where the bad aspect to Laura’s personality manifests as a shrieking demon.<br /><br /><b>Maddy Ferguson</b>. And then Laura gets twinned again with the arrival of her identical cousin, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Maddy_Ferguson">Maddy</a>, who has dark hair and is older than Laura but nonetheless looks exactly like her, mostly because Sheryl Lee played both roles. Whereas Laura was outgoing and very sexual, Maddy is bookish and a little matronly—or at least until she breaks her glasses and starts acting more like Laura. The relationship comes full circle when <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Leland_Palmer">Leland Palmer</a> (Ray Wise) murders Maddy, just as he had Laura. It should also be noted that the character’s name is a nod to Scottie Ferguson and Madeleine Elster, the two lead characters in Alfred Hitchcock’s <i>Vertigo</i>, which was another mystery revolving around doubles and events that repeat.<br /><br /><b>Cooper and Evil Cooper</b>. In the last episode, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Dale_Cooper">Dale Cooper</a> (Kyle MacLachlan) flees the Black Lodge, but the person who makes it out is implied to be a possessed, insane version of Cooper. He’s a cackling monster. He is, essentially, an anti-Cooper. One of the “missing pieces” deleted scenes from <i>Fire Walk With Me</i> has <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Annie_Blackburn">Annie</a> (Heather Graham) being wheeled into the hospital, where she tells the nurse, “The good Dale is in the Lodge, and he can't leave,” and we’re told one of the main plots of the upcoming series is Dale’s return to <i>Twin Peaks</i>.<br /><br /><b>Cooper and Windom Earle</b>. In the second season of the show, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Windom_Earle">Windom Earle</a> (Kenneth Welsh) is also a sort of anti-Cooper. Earle is Cooper’s former FBI partner, who went mad and who vanished for a period, during which Cooper and Caroline, Earle’s wife, became romantically involved. Earle stabbed them both, killing only Caroline, and then returns to menace Cooper during the show’s second season. Whereas Cooper uses his FBI-honed smarts to help people, Earle uses them to hurt people.<br /><br /><b>Annie and Caroline</b>. Cooper begins dating Annie shortly after she arrives in town, and she becomes a stand-in for Caroline when Earle kidnaps her at the end of the second season.<br /><br /><b>Other dueling FBI agents</b>. Yes, there are more than two FBI agents that appear in the series, but Agent Cooper is obviously the most important one. He’s affable and charming, and he quickly embraces all the folksy weirdness of the town of Twin Peaks. Early in the series and shortly after Coop arrives in town, he’s joined by <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Albert_Rosenfield">Albert Rosenfield</a> (Miguel Ferrer), who is prickly and cold. At least initially, Albert rejects everything about the town that Cooper loves. In <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, Cooper gets a second twin in <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Chester_Desmond">Chet Desmond</a> (Chris Isaak), a similar-looking FBI agent investigating the death of <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Teresa_Banks">Teresa Banks</a> (Pamela Gidley).<br /><br /><b>Teresa Banks</b>. Essentially a Version 1.0 of Laura Palmer, Teresa is a 17-year-old girl living in Deer Meadow, Oregon. She has a brief sexual relationship with Leland Palmer, who murders her when she attempts to blackmail him. It’s presumable that Leland’s interest in Teresa is sparked at least in part by Teresa’s resemblance to Laura.<br /><br /><b>ALL THE REVERSE DOPPELGANGERS</b>. I’m unsure if there’s a better term for this sort of relationship, but many of the characters on the show have “weird doubles” that share key elements of their personalities, with other ones significantly tweaked—Bizarro Superman-style but also Bizzaro Seinfeld-style. Often these pairs revolve around a third character with whom they have overlapping ties. I’m grouping them all together in one list.<br /><ul><li><b>Donna and Audrey</b>. They’re both beautiful brunette high school students who seek to find out who killed Laura. But whereas <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Donna_Hayward">Donna</a> (Lara Flynn Boyle) was Laura’s best friend, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Audrey_Horne">Audrey</a> (Sherilyn Fenn) and Laura were rivals. Donna is a good girl, at least at the outset, and Audrey is a bad girl—again, at least in the beginning of the series. Their respective moral alignments push them down two different paths as they try to find out who killed Laura. Audrey’s path takes her to One Eyed Jack’s, the seedy casino and brothel, while Donna ends up tracing Laura’s Meals on Wheels route. Donna and Audrey’s bond is made even stronger at the end of the second season when it’s revealed that they are actually half-sisters and that <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Benjamin_Horne">Ben Horne</a> (Richard Beymer) is father to both. There’s <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/chris-townsend/reflections-on-twin-peaks_b_8168552.html">a Huffington Post article</a> that posits that Donna and Audrey are actually the most prominent of the many doubles: “Onscreen together, they look alike right down to the stage-left flick of their weightless hair-dos; immaculately turned-out, pale as snow, eyes deep and soulful, they are of a type, of a height, and of one appearance.” Also this: “In an early scene, A.H. and D.H. stand side by symmetrical side in a bathroom, discussing Laura’s death—the one who dislikes her, the other her best friend, but both claiming to understand her better than anyone else, and both drawn, mothlike, towards the fiery mystery that is Laura Palmer. Reflected alongside one another in the bathroom mirror, like some human Rorschach test, they are a fourfold image of visual consistency, a doubled doubling that resonates with significance in the eyes of the viewer.” It should be noted that this bathroom is decorated with a red stripe that wraps around the room. At several points, it spikes up into two symmetrical triangles. It’s a representation of the mountains that give the town its name, but in this scene, it’s yet another example of duplication.</li><li><b>Laura’s two boyfriends</b>. Yes, Laura was sleeping with half the town, but her two most important relationships are with <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Bobby_Briggs">Bobby</a> (Dana Ashbrook), her public boyfriend, and <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/James_Hurley">James</a> (James Marshall), her secret boyfriend. Bobby is brash; James is shy. Bobby is on the football team and seems like an all-American dream but is secretly involved in the town’s drug trade. James wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle but is actually sweet-natured and honest.</li><li><b>Bobby’s two girlfriends</b>. Bobby has a secret relationship as well: He was seeing <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Shelly_Johnson">Shelly</a> (Madchen Amick) while he was dating Laura, and this relationship continues after Laura’s death. Laura kept up the pretense of being a good girl high school student while she was doing drugs and associating with criminal elements. Shelly, however, dropped out of high school to marry <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Leo_Johnson">Leo</a> (Eric Da Re), a criminal, and you could say that she left behind any pretense of her high school life. (We’re led to believe that she would have been in the same class as Bobby, Laura, Donna and the rest, right?) By having an affair with Bobby, who seems to love her, while being married to Leo, who is abusive and does not seem to love her, Shelly also gets her own triangle.</li><li><b>James’ two girlfriends</b>. While secretly dating Laura, James falls in love with Donna, though the relationship only progresses once Laura is killed. Later, when Maddy arrives in town, a new love triangle develops around him, Donna and Maddy-as-substitute Laura.</li><li><b>Donna’s two boyfriends</b>. At the start of the series, Donna is dating Bobby’s friend <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Mike_Nelson">Mike</a> (Gary Hershberger), who is a dick but who is also popular. She later starts dating James, who is sweet to her in a way Mike never was.</li><li><b>Ed’s two loves</b>. It’s not just the teenagers in this town who have double relationships. <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Ed_Hurley">Ed</a> (Everett McGill) is married to <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Nadine_Hurley">Nadine</a> (Wendy Robie), for whom he has some affection even though she is a terrible nag and seems mentally unwell. His true love, however, is his high school sweetheart, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Norma_Jennings">Norma</a> (Peggy Lipton), who who understands Ed in a way Norma does not. His public relationship with Nadine hinders his private relationship with Norma.</li><li><b>Norma’s two loves</b>. Similarly, Norma is married to <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Hank_Jennings">Hank</a> (Chris Mulkey), an ex-con who lies to Norma about being reformed, but she actually has always loved Ed, who is an honest man. Both Hank and Ed are involved with the unseen elements of Twin Peaks—the former though the Renault brothers’ gang and the latter through the Bookhouse Boys, a secret society that aims to fight for good. In that sense, the Bookhouse Boys are the benevolent version of a criminal gang.</li><li><b>Pete, Catheine and Josie</b>. Take your pick about where to start. <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Pete_Martell">Pete</a> (Jack Nance) is married to <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Catherine_Packard">Catherine</a> (Piper Laurie), who doesn’t seem to actually love him, but he has a special fondness for <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Josette_Mai_Wong">Josie</a> (Joan Chen), who married Catherine’s brother <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Andrew_Packard">Andrew</a> (Dan O’Herlihy). Catherine hates Josie, both because she suspects her of killing Andrew and because Josie gained control of the Packard family sawmill. The three of them do-si-do until Josie’s death and Andrew’s (real) death.</li><li><b>Donna and Ronette</b>. They’re both friends with Laura, but just as Laura had public and private boyfriends, she had Donna for the “good girl” portion of her life and <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Ronette_Pulaski">Ronette</a> (Phoebe Augustine) for the “bad girl” portion. In <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, Laura actively pushes Donna out of the latter part of her life, not wanting her to associate with the elements that she apparently has no problem with Ronette associating with, and as a result it’s Ronette, not Donna, who is with Laura on the night she dies.</li><li><b>Lucy’s two boyfriends</b>. <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Lucy_Moran">Lucy</a> (Kimmy Robertson) loves <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Andy_Brennan">Deputy Andy</a> (Harry Goaz), who’s a lovable oaf, but she also dates <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Dick_Tremayne">Dick Tremaine</a> (Ian Buchanan), who’s slick and polished but not necessarily nice. Both Andy and Dick are potential fathers to Lucy’s baby, though she eventually decides that Andy should be the father.</li><li><b>Donna’s mom and her two men.</b> We never hear the specifics of how and why, but the second season ends with the implication that <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Eileen_Hayward">Eileen Hayward</a> (Mary Jo Deschanel) at one point had a relationship with Ben Horne and that Donna was the result of that union. This is surprising, given that Donna’s mother is essentially a background character beforehand, but also because Donna and Audrey are the same age, seemingly implying that both Mr. Horne and Mrs. Hayward may have been married to their current spouses when Donna was conceived. Nonetheless, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Will_Hayward">Doc Hayward</a> (Warren Frost) seems to have raised Donna as his own, and this makes it easy to contrast the two characters: The doctor is kind and unassuming and dedicated to helping people, while Ben Horne is aggressive and opportunistic and focused on making as much money as possible.</li></ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1vN3z4pNy9ZLBdjo-E9rUtWx09zCj5JhQYDljHStLxubUuSvn-Ryayfu_D-avkJwUZED3miNxjhxVHFwgYfnq08nHGpGdXLXscVObP0LhSqIxi2LRbl7T_ea8eLyKxNg1w6J997Ur3wI/s1600/twin-peaks-shelley-normmakeovers.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1vN3z4pNy9ZLBdjo-E9rUtWx09zCj5JhQYDljHStLxubUuSvn-Ryayfu_D-avkJwUZED3miNxjhxVHFwgYfnq08nHGpGdXLXscVObP0LhSqIxi2LRbl7T_ea8eLyKxNg1w6J997Ur3wI/s640/twin-peaks-shelley-normmakeovers.png" width="640" /></a><br /><b><br /></b> <b>Shelly and Norma</b>. They’re not opposites but parallels; Shelly loves Bobby but is married to Leo, a criminal who doesn’t really love her, while Norma loves Ed but is married to Hank, a criminal who doesn’t love her. They both work at the Double R Diner, and in one episode even discuss how similar their lives are, whereupon they decide to get makeovers that make them look alike as well.<br /><br /><b>Norma and her mother.</b> Late in the series, Norma’s mother, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Vivian_Smythe_Niles">Vivian</a> (Jane Greer), arrives in town. An undercover food critic critic who writes under a pseudonym, Vivian introduces her new husband <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Ernie_Niles">Ernie</a> (James Booth), who it turns out is a criminal accomplice of Norma’s husband, Hank. In essence, Norma’s mother also follows in Norma’s footsteps.<br /><br /><b>Also, it’s called the Double R Diner</b>. We never find out what those Rs stand for.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><b>“Just You and I.” </b>At one point, James sings a song while Donna and Maddy provide backup. In this sense, the girls are paired, sitting side-by-side in front of James and looking more similar than they ever have before. Also, they’re both romantic options for James. However, there’s irony here, in that the name of the song is “Just You and I” but there are not just two people present; there are three. In fact, the disparity between the title and the fact that there’s a third wheel present is emblematic of most of the romantic relationships on the show. Also, the “you” James is singing to might actually still be Laura, for all we know. Yeah, there’s kind of a lot going on in this scene.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/214449842?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br /></div><b>The sheriff and the outlaw.</b> In season two, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Harry_S._Truman">Sheriff Truman</a> (Michael Ontkean) tells Coop that he and Hank used to be friends. They were both part of the Bookhouse Boys, but at some point Hank turned to a life of crime. Additionally, Hank is a criminal who is married to a virtuous woman, Norma; meanwhile, Sheriff Truman is a lawman who is dating Josie, a criminal.<br /><b><br /></b> <b>The Milford brothers</b>. <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Dwayne_Milford">Mayor Dwayne Milford</a> (John Boylan) is introduced in the first season of the show, and in the second, it's revealed that his brother, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Dougie_Milford">Dougie Milford</a> (Tony Jay), runs the local newspaper. They hate each other, and Dwayne resents Dougie’s marriage to <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Lana_Budding_Milford">Lana Budding</a> (Robyn Lively), a young woman men seem to find irresistible despite the fact that just about every other woman in town is a total bombshell. When Dougie dies shortly after the wedding, however, Dwayne takes up with Lana and they quickly become engaged. (BTW, it’s beyond the scope of this list, but apparently Mark Frost’s book <i>The Secret History of Twin Peaks</i> gives Dougie a lot of backstory relating to the military, Project Blue Book, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Gordon_Cole">Gordon Cole</a> (David Lynch) and <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Garland_Briggs">Major Garland Briggs</a> (Don S. Davis) You can read it all <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Dougie_Milford">here</a>, if you’re interested.)<br /><br /><b>And two more sets of brothers</b>. There are two Horne brothers, Ben and <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Jerry_Horne">Jerry</a> (David Patrick Kelly), and they are entrepreneurs, whose business ventures stand to make the town a lot of money. However, there exists a second set of brothers, the Renaults — <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Jacques_Renault">Jacques</a> (Walter Olkewicz) and <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Jean_Renault">Jean</a> (Michael Parks) — who are also entrepreneurs manipulating a great deal of money in town but who do so illegally, through gambling, prostitution and drugs. The Horne brothers are actually affiliated with these illegal operations, it is revealed, but this does not seem to be widely known in town. The Hornes are seen as legitimate businessmen, but the Renaults are seen as criminals. (There is also a third Renault brother, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Bernard_Renault">Bernard</a> (Clay Wilcox), but he is much younger and is quickly killed off, and I just don’t think he’s as important as Jacques and Jean are.)<br /><br /><b>One Eyed Jack’s</b>. It should be noted that one of the places that the Hornes and the Renaults do business is across the Canadian border at a casino and brothel called One Eyed Jack’s. This name is important. On a show where nearly everything exists in doubles, the name of this places calls attention to something that is normally a double but has been rendered a single: The jack only has one eye. It’s an exception to the rule, and in this location things that are normally hidden are done out in the open.<br /><br /><b>Multiple Bobs and Mikes.</b> Early in the show, we meet Bobby Briggs and Mike Nelson, who are both on the high school football team and who date Laura and Donna, respectively. Not long into the show, we meet a second set of characters with the same first names—BOB (Frank Silva), the boogeyman who possesses Leland Palmer and makes him do awful things, and MIKE, a spirit who once also reveled in rape and murder but who at one point “saw the face of God” and decided to stop BOB. Just as BOB inhabited Leland, MIKE inhabits <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/MIKE">Philip Gerard</a> (Al Strobel), a traveling shoe salesman missing his left arm. Gerard’s middle name happens to be Michael, and he mentions being friends with Dr. Bob Lydecker, the veterinarian who runs the clinic that Coop and company visit in an effort to find Waldo, the mynah bird owned by Jacques Renault. (Both Dr. Lydecker and Waldo’s names are further references to the Gene Tierney film <i>Laura</i>, in which Clifton Webb played a character named Waldo Lydecker.) And before I finish talking about Philip Gerard once and for all, I will point out that he is also notable in the way One Eyed Jack’s is—half of a complete set. He has one arm, and it’s noted that his suitcase only contains right shoes, as they are sale samples and not complete sets.<br /><br /><b>T.M.F.A.P. and the Giant.</b> The backwards-talking little person known as <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/The_Man_from_Another_Place">“The Man From Another Place”</a> (Michael J. Anderson) is paired with <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/The_Giant">the Giant</a> (Carel Struycken). They’re both otherworldly presences who speak to Coop in riddles and vague clues, but the Giant seems more interested in helping Coop than just reveling in chaos the way T.M.F.A.P. does. In the final episode, both the Giant and T.M.F.A.P. sit next to each other, whereupon the Giant speaks the line, “one and the same,” which could mean they’re two aspects of the same entity. This interpretation gets complicated a little by the Man from Another Place’s statement, “I am the arm,” which would seemingly imply that he is somehow the left arm that Philip Gerard cut off because it bore the tattoo “Fire Walk With Me” and represented a connection to BOB. If T.M.F.A.P. is the arm, I’m not sure what that makes the Giant, but I don’t doubt this is a conversation that’s played out on <i>Twin Peaks</i> diehard message boards for the last twenty-five years.<br /><br /><b>The Giant and Señor Droolcup</b>. There’s a debatable connection as well between the Giant and <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Waiter">the elderly waiter</a> (Hank Warden) who arrives at Coop’s hotel room moments after he’s been shot. The waiter delivers Coop a glass of warm milk and leaves, and moments later the Giant materializes in the room. Later dubbed “Señor Droolcup” by Albert, the waiter seems to be just a doddering old man, but he reappears in the Black Lodge in the second season finale. In fact, the Giant says “one and the same” moments after he seemingly takes the place of the Señor Droolcup, so you could argue that he’s referring to that and not his relationship with the Man From Another Place.<br /><br /><b>Señor Droolcup and Dell Mibbler. </b> The final episode of <i>Twin Peaks</i> introduces a new character—<a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Dell_Mibbler" target="_blank">Dell Mibbler</a> (Ed Wright), the assistant manager of Twin Peaks Savings and Loan—and then promptly kills him off in the bank explosion. Before he dies, however, Audrey asks him to fetch her a glass of water, and the scene that follows is long, drawn out and comedic in a way that’s very similar to the scene in which Señor Droolcup delivers Coop’s glass of milk. It’s probably coincidental, and maybe more of a result of David Lynch thinking the impossible feeble old men are funny, but it’s notable that this episode also features an appearance by Señor Droolcup—in the Red Room. (Weirdly, Dell Mibbler <a href="http://twinpeaks.popapostle.com/html/episodes/Missing-Pieces.htm" target="_blank">shows up in <i>The Missing Pieces</i></a>. Lynch must have like this old weirdo.)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/214449913?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><b>The two Mrs. Tremonds.</b> While taking over Laura’s Meals on Wheels route, Donna meets <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Mrs._Tremond">Mrs. Tremond</a> (Frances Bay), an elderly resident of Twin Peaks, as well as <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Mrs._Chalfont%27s_grandson">her spooky grandson</a> (Austin Jack Lynch, David’s son). Later, it’s revealed that the woman Donna met wasn’t actually Mrs. Tremond; a different woman (Mae Williams) answers the door and claims not to have a grandson. In <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, it’s revealed that the first Mrs. Tremond and her grandson (this time played by Jonathan J. Leppell) are inhabitants of the Black Lodge that have some association with BOB and the other spirits. When Teresa Banks lived at the Fat Trout Trailer Park in Deer Meadow, Oregon, they did too, though she was known as Mrs. Chalfont. As if to further underscore the doubling going on, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Carl_Rodd">Carl Rodd</a> (Harry Dean Stanton) relates to Chet Desmond the strangeness in the fact that the people who lived in the trailer before Mrs. Chalfont also had the last name Chalfont. The character’s actual name is never revealed. Incidentally, the grandson may have a double in the <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Jumping_Man">Jumping Man</a>, another Black Lodge inhabitant and one who wears a similar mask to the one the grandson wears.<br /><br /><b>Lucy and Gwen</b>. After it’s revealed that Lucy is pregnant, we meet her lookalike sister <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Gwen_Morton">Gwen</a> (Kathleen Wilhoite), who’s just had a baby. Lucy and Gwen look like twins and even talk similarly, and it seems notable that Gwen’s married name is Morton. Lucy’s full name is Lucy Moran, so that would make her sister’s full name Gwen Moran Morton, which would be instance of near-doubling.<br /><br /><b>Denise and Dennis</b>. In the second season, Coop works with DEA Agent <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Denise_Bryson">Denise Bryson</a> (David Duchovny). Previous to Bryson’s activity in Twin Peaks, Coop knew the agent as Dennis, but she has since begun wearing women’s clothes and going by the feminine form of her name. However, for one operation with Coop, she wears men’s clothes and presents herself as male, so we see her as both Denise and Dennis. (NOTE: I feel like by today’s standards, counting Denise and Dennis as a double might seem like I’m saying “she’s both,” when it’s fairly clear that she identifies as a woman, but I also feel like this is how the character was presented back when these episodes aired in 1991. Now that everyone knows what “transgender” means, it will be interesting to see if Lynch and Duchovny address this when Denise comes back for the new episodes.)<br /><br /><b>Mr. Tojamura.</b> Following the fire at the mill, Catherine disappears from the show and is presumed dead. Further into the second season, the town is visited by Mr. Tojamura, a Japanese businessman eager to work with Ben Horne. You eventually learn that this is actually Catherine in disguise. She is far from the only character on the show to adopt a false identity for one reason or another, but what’s interesting about this character arc is that the production staff allegedly tricked people into thinking Mr. Tojamura was played by a new actor—Fumio Yamaguchi, who’d allegedly worked on a number of Akira Kurosawa films and whom David Lynch had flown in from Japan. As Piper Laurie explains <a href="http://welcometotwinpeaks.com/actors/piper-laurie-autobiography-twin-peaks/">in this interview</a>, the ruse was truly next-level: “The cast, crew, and all guest directors knew nothing; nor did my family. My name came off the credits, and Fumio Yamaguchi’s was put on. Because I wouldn’t talk about it when asked, my poor sister assumed I’d been fired. Sherrye was so upset that she started having asthma attacks, and I had to take her into my confidence.” She even had her makeup done off-set so she could arrive in character as Fumio Yamaguchi. And that is all kind of awesome.<br /><br /><b>A Packard family tradition.</b> Both Catherine and Andrew Packard fake their deaths, only to make a shocking reappearance when they deem fit.<br /><br /><b>The other killer.</b> In order to keep spoilers from leaking out, even in a pre-internet age, scenes were allegedly filmed with Ben Horne <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Benjamin_Horne#Red_herring_for_Laura.27s_killer">killing Maddy</a>, thus implying that he was possessed by BOB and had also killed Laura Palmer. The scene allegedly plays out just like the big reveal does with Leland, even in the Palmer family house. The sequence has apparently never been released.<br /><br /><b>Josie and Judy. </b>Okay, this is a weird one. You may well want to skip to the next item if you don’t feel like getting into the most abstract of <i>Twin Peaks</i> minutiae. In <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, there’s an offscreen character named Judy mentioned twice: by <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Phillip_Jeffries">Phillip Jeffries</a> (David Bowie) and also by a monkey. No, really, there’s a monkey that gets a close-up at one point, and it utters Judy’s name, almost too quietly to hear. I have a video of it. You can hear the monkey talk around the forty-second mark.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="323" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/151489812?byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="600"></iframe></div><br />In the context of the movie alone, we have no clue who Judy might be. However, it’s noted in <a href="http://abovethestore.blogspot.com/2009/04/judy-judy-judy.html">a blog post about Judy</a> (and titled, of course, “Judy, Judy, Judy”) that an early draft of the <i>Fire Walk With Me</i> script has Jeffries offering one more clue about this character: “I want to tell you everything, but I don’t have a lot to go on. But I’ll tell you one thing: Judy is positive about this. Her sister’s there, too—at least part of her.” For a few reasons, it’s posited that Judy’s sister might actually be Josie Packard. Foremost among them is that Robert Engels—a <i>Twin Peaks</i> writer who also co-wrote the script for <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>—said he thought Josie was in Buenos Aires, where Jeffries was previously, along with Windom Earle. So there’s that. If you take the “there” to mean the Red Room or the Black Lodge, then there’s an argument for it referring to Josie again. After she dies midway through the second season, she was at one point supposed to make a cameo in the second season finale—kinda sorta. According to <a href="http://twinpeaksarchive.blogspot.com/2011/07/between-two-worlds-josies-fate.html">this blog post</a>, at least a portion of Josie’s corpse was supposed to be visible in that final episode, and you can even see behind-the-scenes photos that Richard Beymer took of Joan Chen’s stand-in on the set. It’s also noted in that post that Frank Silva, the actor who played BOB, even said that he remembered the scene being filmed, though he noted that Josie’s face hadn’t been visible. The scene doesn’t seem to have made the final cut of the episode, however. Finally, there’s that line that Jeffries speaks: “at least part of her.” It’s hinted on the show that in death, Josie suffered some sort of separation. For example, after Josie dies, her face is seen trapped in a wooden drawer nob in a dresser at the Great Northern. I’m including a video just because the special effects are gloriously early-’90s and we should all appreciate that.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dOLb1nThRds?showinfo=0" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><br />When Doc Hayward does Josie’s autopsy, he notes that her body only weighs 65 pounds—a seemingly impossible fact that is never explained on the show but which would seem to indicate that some aspect of Josie was not present during the examination. That, coupled with Silva’s memory of the final episode showing Josie’s body (but not her face) has made some superfans postulate that Josie’s body was <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Josie_Packard#Behind_the_scenes"><span id="goog_2010027126"></span>separated from its head<span id="goog_2010027127"></span></a>—and that’s a ghastly thought, though perhaps not any more awful than any of the other sad fates that befall <i>Twin Peaks</i> characters. (There is also a second Judy in <i>Twin Peaks</i>: <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Judy_Swain">Judy Swain</a>, the adoption agent played in the second season <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2013/05/molly-shannon-phantom-opera-1989.html">by Molly Shannon</a>.)<br /><br /><b>Laura’s necklace.</b> It’s a heart split in half, and it’s pretty easy to connect that imagery with Laura herself. She wears one half around her neck, in public, and gives the other half to James, her secret boyfriend. James buries his half, but it gets dug up; much like Laura, going into the ground doesn’t mean it’s gone for good.<br /><br /><b>The two diaries</b>. Laura keeps one that most people know about, but there’s a second that she entrusts to <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Harold_Smith">Harold Smith</a> (Lenny Von Dohlen) before she dies. That’s the diary that was published as an actual book, under the name <i>The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer</i>—a book, I should note, that Jennifer Lynch <a href="http://welcometotwinpeaks.com/trivia/jennifer-lynch-lost-secret-diary-of-laura-palmer/">wrote twice</a> because she lost the first copy of it.<br /><i><br /></i> <b>The two ledgers. </b>At one point, Josie discovers two account ledgers for the mill, offering two different pictures of the finances. At least one of them is counterfeit, created by Catherine.<br /><i><br /></i> <b>The two rings.</b> <i>Fire Walk With Me</i> focuses on <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Owl_Cave_Ring">Teresa Banks’ ring</a>, which has a green stone and a picture of the petroglyph from Owl Cave on it. It has magical properties, and touching it makes Agent Desmond vanish, presumably sending him to the Red Room. It also doesn’t appear in the TV series, though <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Lawrence_Jacoby">Dr. Jacoby</a> (Russ Tamblyn) wears a similar ring. There is a different ring that figures prominently into the TV series, however: Coop’s ring, which the Giant takes from him after he’s shot and tells him he’ll get it back again when he finds all the clues. Rings and circles are also just a major motif of the show—donuts, the ring of trees at Glastonbury Grove and the circle of candle’s in Coop’s dream, among others.<br /><br /><b>Dr. Jacoby’s glasses.</b> One lens is red; the other is blue. You could just view this as part of Dr. Jacboby’s kitschy schtick, but it’s also another example of someone taking what is traditionally a matching set and rendering it different from what everyone else has. Well, except for Nadine, who has only one eye, and I struggle to find meaning to that aside from a literal way of showing her myopia, as in her singleminded obsession with silent drape runners.<br /><br /><b>Hank’s domino.</b> When we first see it, it has three dots on one side and three on the other. Later it’s four dots and four dots. There had been a few theories about what that change could mean—and what the domino in general could mean, as just the image of it is enough to intimidate Josie when Hank mails her a drawing of it—but the change in dots apparently resulted only from <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Hank_Jennings#Trivia">the original prop being lost</a>. There is perhaps a lesson to be learned here in overreading.<br /><br /><b><i>Invitation to Love</i>.</b> At several points during the first season, residents of Twin Peaks are glimpsed watching this soap opera, seemingly oblivious to the soap opera elements unfolding around them in real life. But <i>Invitation to Love</i> also sometimes parallels things happening on <i>Twin Peaks</i>; for example, the character Jade (Erika Anderson) is shown to have an evil twin named Emerald (also Erika Anderson, duh) in the same episode that introduces Maddy as Laura’s identical but differently-tempered cousin. In the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFMen60b6UQ">unedited version of this footage</a>, you see that key plot point on the show was the production of two wills for one of the characters, one of which gets thrown into the fire. (BTW, all the <i>Invitation to Love</i> scenes were shot at the Ennis House in Los Feliz, which <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ennis_House#Use_in_film_productions">was also used</a> in <i>Blade Runner</i>, <i>Day of the Locust</i>, the 1959 <i>House on Haunted Hill</i> and as Spike and Drusilla’s mansion on <i>Buffy</i>. There’s even <a href="http://copycateffect.blogspot.com/2014/03/Ennis-House.html">a <i>Mulholland Drive</i> connection</a>.)<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwPydVP3Chh9DnsjOiNiGFQXIFWBqy6sIP11z6CvDqKYjMuD7SHwWW0lOUW0x442Y1mfi613ZItrRpSD7DV4IJw2MAhCL1HT9Cl8hkwS6yrTnzLDVp2nCCiJUyGC-GohUfmAmnL1rONsM/s1600/miss-twin-peaks.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwPydVP3Chh9DnsjOiNiGFQXIFWBqy6sIP11z6CvDqKYjMuD7SHwWW0lOUW0x442Y1mfi613ZItrRpSD7DV4IJw2MAhCL1HT9Cl8hkwS6yrTnzLDVp2nCCiJUyGC-GohUfmAmnL1rONsM/s640/miss-twin-peaks.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><b>Wrapped in plastic. </b>That’s how Laura’s body is found, and then just days later that’s a key element of the costumes worn by the contestants in the Miss Twin Peaks pageant. Seems like it’s in bad taste, now that I think about it.<br /><br /><b>Twin Peaks and Deer Meadow</b>. In <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, we watch Chet Desmond, a kinda-sorta Coop, investigate the murder of Teresa Banks, a broke version of Laura Palmer, in Deer Meadow, an Oregon town that is essentially a bad version of Twin Peaks. Whereas Twin Peaks’ Sheriff Truman is upstanding, chivalrous and welcoming to the FBI, Deer Meadow’s <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Cable">Sheriff Cable</a> (Gary Bullock) is a hostile jerk who literally fights Agent Desmond. There’s even an anti-Lucy working the front desk, who just giggles at Desmond when he comes in asking for information.<br /><br /><b>Twin Peaks and Twin Peaks.</b> After handpicking the tiniest details for this list, it seems obvious to say that the town of Twin Peaks is also its own evil twin, but I also feel like that is key to the point David Lynch was making with the show. Even a place as pristine and friendly and gosh-darn American as this rural logging town has a seedy underbelly. It’s an idea he also explored in <i>Blue Velvet</i>, and you could make the argument that <i>Twin Peaks</i> was Lynch’s attempt to push that idea to even darker, stranger places.<br /><b><br /></b> <b>The Black Lodge and the White Lodge</b>. And then we have the biggest mystery of all—and the place that ended the original series. After all this time and all these episodes of <i>Twin Peaks</i> that I’ve watched, I still don’t really know what to make of the Black Lodge and the White Lodge, other than that they’re opposites and I don’t especially want to go to either. I will just offer the explanation given by <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Hawk">Deputy Hawk</a> (Michael Horse): “There is also a legend of a place called the Black Lodge, the shadow-self of the White Lodge. The legend says that every spirit must pass through there on the way to perfection. There, you will meet your own shadow self. My people call it ‘The Dweller on the Threshold.’ But it is said, if you confront the Black Lodge with imperfect courage, it will utterly annihilate your soul.” But it is interesting, isn’t it, that when we see Cooper travel through the Black Lodge in the final moments of the last episode, it looks no different than the Red Room he dreams about at the start of the show? And that the floor is zigzagged with white and black?<br /><br /><b>All that backwards talk.</b> What should we make of it? It’s something made intelligible by being spoken backwards and then again played in reverse, but that process also renders it weird and unsettling. It seems very in line with the <i>Twin Peaks</i> reverse doppelgangers, being flipped and flipped again until you’re back where you started but still somehow different. And it seems notable that it’s the following phrase—a perfect palindrome—that seems to trigger Coop’s entry into the hellish Black Lodge.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwejCj-0SBkDH1xJOoO_OHRj5DOPd1bHvenrC1839bT7NB-BBe9ZYTXBNjVHR1EmCItUM63uBv9Xu4yWkNxOyLemom-sNaQgNZSMbVcHx4Sr-nq7RUcPLoGk-Fn584SiB27hmSZ5C9Pp4/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-03-17+at+12.06.15+AM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="wow bob wow red room twin peaks finale" border="0" height="417" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwejCj-0SBkDH1xJOoO_OHRj5DOPd1bHvenrC1839bT7NB-BBe9ZYTXBNjVHR1EmCItUM63uBv9Xu4yWkNxOyLemom-sNaQgNZSMbVcHx4Sr-nq7RUcPLoGk-Fn584SiB27hmSZ5C9Pp4/s640/Screen+Shot+2017-03-17+at+12.06.15+AM.png" title="" width="640" /></a></div><br /><b>“It is happening again.”</b> There are a some miscellaneous plot points that come up more than once on the show and may be callbacks but may also not be obvious to people who haven’t watched the show as much as I have. I’m listing them off all together.<br /><ul><li><b>Trapped in the wood.</b> In the first season, <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Margaret_Lanterman">the Log Lady</a> (Catherine E. Coulson) explains over tea that her “pet” log houses the soul of her husband, who died in a fire. In the second season, Josie dies mysteriously at the Great Northern Hotel, and then Pete subsequently thinks he feels her presence in the wood. Later, you see her faced, trapped in a wooden knob on a dresser drawer. It’s one of the weirder things to happen in the back half of the show, but I feel like people often don’t connect it to the Log Lady’s story. (By the way, there is some interesting discussion about Josie’s death in <a href="http://twinpeaksarchive.blogspot.com/2011/07/between-two-worlds-josies-fate.html">this blog post</a>.) </li><li><b>Daddy-daughter dance</b>. There’s a scene at the start of the second season in which Audrey has infiltrated One Eyed Jack’s and is posing as the newest girl on staff. Her father, Ben Horne, arrives and wants to check out the new merchandise, and you have this awkward situation where Audrey, masked, is attempting to evade the sexual advances of her own father. It’s mostly played as cringe comedy, but it foreshadows the awful truth we learn a few episodes later about Leland and Laura Palmer. This other father-daughter set actually did have a sexual relationship, and it was just the most awful thing and it ultimately resulted in the deaths of both Leland and Laura.</li><li><b>The ceiling fan.</b> A visual motif in both the TV series and the movie is the spinning ceiling fan in the Palmer family house. There’s even a scene in <i>The Missing Pieces</i> in which Laura stares at it, seemingly hypnotized. I think it represents another major theme in <i>Twin Peaks</i>: inevitable repetition. Just as the fan blades can’t help but to spin in the same circle, over and over, events in this universe play out multiple times—Teresa and Laura, for example, or Coop and Annie or even Shelly inadvertently following in Norma’s footsteps. Repetition is, I suppose, another form of doubling.</li><li><b>She’s spooky</b>. Certain characters never interact with the supernatural elements of Twin Peaks, while others get more than their fair share. At one point, Donna describes <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Sarah_Palmer">Sarah Palmer</a> (Grace Zabriskie) as being “spooky,” having visions and such. Her niece Maddy has these as well—seeing Bob <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWcP8vDFEOo">climb through Donna’s living room</a> (in what is easily one of the scariest things ever aired in TV) or even seeing blood on the Palmers’ living room carpet as an omen of her own murder. Maybe the women on Sarah’s side of the family share this ability, but Maddy maybe exhibits it even more strongly than Laura does. </li><li><b>Donna’s two sisters. </b>It’s not notable on its own that Donna has two younger sisters, especially since that makes for three Hayward girls altogether, but it does seem notable that in the second season premiere, when the Haywards have the (surviving) Palmers over for dinner, both <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Harriet_Hayward">Harriet</a> (Jessica Wallenfels) and <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Gersten_Hayward">Gersten</a> (Alicia Witt) perform. Harriet reads a poem about Laura—one that is arguably <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pESME4SEoTA">not super appropriate</a>, given her family is the audience—and Gersten plays the piano—a lively tune that inspires Leland to dance. This is probably me overreading, but it always occurred to me that this scene showed the two younger sisters both being inclined toward the arts and using their art to process the trauma of their sister’s best friend being murdered, but also that they process it differently. Harriet’s poem is dark, but Gersten’s song is happy, and maybe those are the two ways that people use art to process trauma—diving into it or escaping from it.</li><li><b>Donna is perceptive. </b>In the first episode, Donna notes Laura’s empty desk, sees a classmate running away crying and immediately concludes that something terrible has happened to her friend. She starts crying herself. In the seventh episode of the second season, immediately after Maddy dies, Donna is sitting with James in a booth at the Roadhouse and again starts to cry. It’s unclear how she’d had sensed that anything bad had happened, as only Cooper seems to see any visions, though other characters also seemed disturbed by the sudden change in mood.</li><li><b>Bad trips.</b> <i>Fire Walk With Me</i> shows a few brief glimpses of Phillip Jeffries, who vanished from a hotel in Buenos Aires, only to re-materialize at FBI headquarters, only to blink away again. All the while, he babbles about things that don’t make any sense, including the aforementioned Judy. It’s unclear exactly where he went, but it’s presumable that he had some interaction with the otherworldly forces that create havoc in Twin Peaks—and that the experience broke his brain. It’s similar in some ways to what happens to Cooper in the Black Lodge, only Jeffries seems outright crazy while Cooper is evil, by virtue of being possessed by BOB. <i>The Missing Pieces</i> offers a slightly longer look into Jeffries, and I found a clip of one of the extra scenes.</li></ul><div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/4msytla9wYU?showinfo=0" width="560"></iframe></div></div><ul><li><b>Ring ring. </b>A major theme of Fire Walk With Me is the transfer of ownership of the green owl ring, and the misfortune that seems to follow anyone who acquires it. Again, the ring (and any ring) is a visual metaphor for circularity and repetition. In the The Missing Pieces, we see that Annie has acquired the ring only to have it stolen by a hospital nurse (Therese Xavier Tinling), who should rightly be doomed, though it’s unclear if we are supposed to consider it canon.</li></ul><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/222122849?title=0&byline=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br /><b>Miscellaneous meta bits</b>. They’re probably neither here nor there but whatever.<br /><ul><li><b>Lynch + Frost.</b> I mentioned this in <a href="https://soundcloud.com/wearenotyounganymore/episode-one-lost-highway">the <i>Lost Highway</i> podcast</a>, but I feel it’s worth repeating. What’s interesting about <i>Twin Peaks</i> is that if you ask a semi-culturally literate person what jumps to mind when they hear David Lynch’s name, they’d probably say some mix of the quaint and goofy with the surreal and horrific. That’s not inaccurate, as that combination is present in <i>Blue Velvet</i> and <i>Mulholland Drive</i>, but they’re most likely describing <i>Twin Peaks</i>, which is Lynch’s most famous work. The thing about <i>Twin Peaks</i>, however, is that it isn’t exactly a solo effort: It was created jointly by David Lynch and Mark Frost, and I think it’s the balance between this duo that made the TV show what it is. Notably, when David Lynch made <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, Frost passed on participating. As a result, <i>Fire Walk With Me</i> plays out more like <i>Lost Highway</i> or <i>Inland Empire</i>—dark and raw and often horrifying, and without a lot of the humor that balanced out the TV series, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8biyY3trpc">“gobble gobble” scene</a> notwithstanding. This is one of the big reasons I’m glad Mark Frost is returning for the new TV series.</li><li><b><i>Twin Peaks</i>, twinned</b>. In the way Laura Palmer became her own shadow-self and the way the town of Twin Peaks had its dark flipside, I feel like <i>Fire Walk With Me</i> is the dark twin to the TV series <i>Twin Peaks</i>.</li><li><b>Or maybe tripled</b>. That previous statement may be rendered less meaningful by the new series, but it’s worth noting that in May of 2015, the news broke that the new series <a href="http://www.slashfilm.com/twin-peaks-season-three-episode-count/">had itself doubled</a>. That seems like an appropriate turn of events.</li><li><b>Book sequel, twice over.</b> The show has spawned two books that further explore the characters and the setting of the show: <i>The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer</i> and <i>The Secret History of Twin Peaks</i>.</li><li><b>The <i>Desperate Housewives</i> connection</b>. Early in the production of <i>Desperate Housewives</i>, Sheryl Lee was cast as Mary Alice, the dead neighbor who narrates the entire series. That would have been a doubling for Lee—playing Laura Palmer, the most famous murder victim in the history of American TV, and then playing another character whose best-known trait is that she was dead. In the end, however, the narration was supplied by Brenda Strong—Sue Ellen Mischke from <i>Seinfeld</i>, but also <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Jones">Jones</a>, the assistant to <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Thomas_Eckhardt">Thomas Eckhardt</a> (David Warner), the South African villain menacing Josie. </li><li><b>The Donnas.</b> Because Lara Flynn Boyle did not play Donna in <i>Fire Walk With Me</i>, Moira Kelly took the role and put her own spin on the character. Perhaps as a result of circumstance or perhaps as a result of the actresses’ vibes, the two takes feel different. Boyle’s Donna is a beautiful weirdo, while Kelly’s Donna is a bit mousier—or at least she is until she tries to go full bad girl. Regardless, we end up with two different Donnas. As the new series approaches, however, this point becomes interesting. James Hurley is coming back, as are Doc Hayward Gersten. It would seem strange if Donna weren’t in the mix as well, but she actually might be, despite the lack of either Lara Flynn Boyle or Moira Kelly in the cast. Lynch added a ton of people to the new series, and it seems possible that some of them could be taking over roles played by non-returning alumni from the original series. Could Ashley Judd maybe make sense as Donna No. 3? If Heather Graham isn’t coming back, could Laura Dern or Naomi Watts make sense as the new Annie? And who the hell is Jennifer Jason Leigh playing? Will we finally get to meet <a href="http://twinpeaks.wikia.com/wiki/Diane">Diane</a>? These are important questions, and I don’t want to wait two months to get the answers.</li></ul><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIEg6gW3lSbmnbkScLguR14_Ov9dJzweiyHo8S4pv39ewA6QTiWI-V4iwZBz1b8HzLn0KBraAJJby4MoztLXOWIxoGWV093n3Kbkb8wlp3n2uTjBsgEiwb-GLqw3lSBW0nfznZkiK_07U/s1600/twin-peaks-cabin.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="doc hawk truman coop lineup twin peaks" border="0" height="422" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIEg6gW3lSbmnbkScLguR14_Ov9dJzweiyHo8S4pv39ewA6QTiWI-V4iwZBz1b8HzLn0KBraAJJby4MoztLXOWIxoGWV093n3Kbkb8wlp3n2uTjBsgEiwb-GLqw3lSBW0nfznZkiK_07U/s640/twin-peaks-cabin.png" title="" width="640" /></a></div><br /><i>Twin Peaks</i>, previously:<br /><ul><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2012/12/bob-twin-peaks-hidden-first-appearance-pilot.html">BOB’s introduction to <i>Twin Peaks</i> was basically a happy accident—and all the more creepy as a result</a></li><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2014/11/darkwing-duck-twin-beaks.html">That one weird <i>Twin Peaks</i>-themed episode of <i>Darkwing Duck</i></a></li><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2014/08/david-lynch-this-mortal-coil-julee-cruise.html">Julee Cruise and This Mortal Coil</a></li><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2013/04/scooby-doo-meets-david-lynch.html">Scooby-Doo visits the Red Room</a></li><li><a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2010/02/david-lynch-meets-legend-of-zelda.html">How <i>Twin Peaks</i> inspired a <i>Legend of Zelda</i> game</a></li></ul>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-64755823526883893972017-03-09T23:24:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:49.035-07:00Hey! Help Me Write My Roommate’s IMDb Bio!There are two things to know. Well, there are three if you didn’t know that I had a roommate. I do. His name is Glen, and he has lived in my spare bedroom for two years now. It’s like <i>The Golden Girls,</i> but we are both Dorothy. Needless to say, it is a platonic partnership. He’s really more of a boarder than anything. Once I paid him in pastries to paint my fence.<br /><br />Here is a telling photo of what Glen is like.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGVmor43wZ1X36nF6RzFZ-YS5lyoUbrArx_K61In-__HOjEMKsm2z0JcuL1ONk-FQd7TWxrRF2OIRXyHFrq-HkO1b5Uazar_ARMn7y4w2ifykcFCqydOBrZ-OdBX4pwVXOo9-lQ0ZdREY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-03-09+at+11.12.06+PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGVmor43wZ1X36nF6RzFZ-YS5lyoUbrArx_K61In-__HOjEMKsm2z0JcuL1ONk-FQd7TWxrRF2OIRXyHFrq-HkO1b5Uazar_ARMn7y4w2ifykcFCqydOBrZ-OdBX4pwVXOo9-lQ0ZdREY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-03-09+at+11.12.06+PM.png" /></a></div><br />Regarding the two other things that you need to know, the first thing is that Glen wrote words that are being turned <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt6547044/?ref_=nm_flmg_wr_1" target="_blank">into a movie</a>. Yes, from stupid, lifeless words on a page to a glorious movie with acting and lights and everything. It’s quite magical. The second thing is that Glen’s IMDb page lacks a bio. Because I am a thoughtful and caring person, I have offered to fix this failure by supplying one that is both informative and exciting. This is where you come in. (Yay, you!) I’m not sure which bio is the most exciting and informative, so I want you to read all of them and tell me which one works best.<br /><br />Here are the bios.<br /><i><br /></i><i>Until age 37, Glen resided in a cabin in the Shadow Hills area of Los Angeles with his identical twin, Ben, rarely communicating with the outside world. Following Ben’s still-unexplained death in 2015, however, Glen emerged with the script to his first feature in hand. Eager to pursue subsequent film efforts, Glen was recently cleared of charges in his brother’s death and is currently awaiting a civil suit filed by his many elderly aunts.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>Glen resides in Reseda, California, where he lives with his wife Stefanny and children Mirabella and Miasofia. In addition to screenwriting, he runs a rescue for Christian dogs. One time he saw a blimp. Aged 42.</i><br /><br /><i>The inspiration for the movie </i>The Ring<i>, Glen has been writing and drawing since a young age. There have been no survivors so far.</i><br /><i><br /></i><i>Glen was once bitten by a dog whose owners repeatedly swore that “He never bites people” and “That is SO WEIRD.” Glen later died on a river boat. </i><br /><br /><i>Father to </i>Step by Step<i> actress Christine Lakin, Glen has been missing since 1994 and was last seen at a Tastee Freez in Barstow, California. The script for his first produced film was found in his storage unit in a steel case marked “secrets.” His hobbies include/included checkers and Tastee Freez. If you see Glen, please call the San Bernardino Sheriff’s Department (909) 387-3545.</i><br /><br /><i>Taller than you might expect. Of uncertain origin, possibly toxic.</i><br /><br /><i>One time, Glen came over to ride bikes and we rode out to the river and he said I SAW SOMETHING ONCE DO YOU WANT TO SEE??? and so we rode and rode and we went out to this spot by the river and there was this old tree and Glen said one time he was there and there was a dead homeless guy and Marcus dared him to touch the dead homeless guy but he got scared and ran home and anyway the dead homeless guy wasn’t there anymore. Do you think, like the police came and got him? (Hobbies include golf and Netflix.)</i><br /><br /><i>Glen is the son of a pioneer researcher in the field of rodent neurology. Glen is a regular human, however, and not the trans-neural equivalent of a human-squirrel homunculus. He was born of a flesh mother, like a regular human would have been, and participates in normal, typical human activities such as driving a car and wearing clothes. Glen’s hobbies include peanuts, walnuts and climbing. Is regular human. Is.</i><br /><br /><i>Glen, aged 44, lives in Sylmar, California, and doesn’t know anything about the hikers who went missing, so please don’t ask.</i><br /><br />When did I come the closest to capturing Glen? Also how do you submit a bio to IMDb without the permission of the person the bio is about?<br /><br />EDIT: It should be noted, I suppose, that this is not my first attempt to impose a stronger narrative on my roommate’s life.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0Ffs26iZVIjdi9sqJPTHUh_jMaGEZutrzvkYQ1ijm3t-c75namuRKuVN9VS1ybgj06GlEikepkEw4s3m4AgCHEqO3uQBGe4-tSqA_yXJElaGzLq8TDjbL0EAzYBcrRNGdv7LtLSOCZo/s1600/glen-dead.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0Ffs26iZVIjdi9sqJPTHUh_jMaGEZutrzvkYQ1ijm3t-c75namuRKuVN9VS1ybgj06GlEikepkEw4s3m4AgCHEqO3uQBGe4-tSqA_yXJElaGzLq8TDjbL0EAzYBcrRNGdv7LtLSOCZo/s640/glen-dead.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />I shall not stop. I shall never stop. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-20857660475789679072017-02-21T11:42:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:49.384-07:00All the Colors of the Night“No, I don’t know why.”<br /><br />That’s the response that would probably come first if someone asked me what motivated me to make this new video project. But if I thought about it a little, I might come up with something along the lines of this: “Not that I need a reason, you sniveling jerk, but I feel like a nearly lifelong love of horror movies and weird ’80s music is reason enough.”<br /><br />That gets pretty much to the point of my second video project, which I’m calling “All the Colors of the Night” and which you can watch in full below.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/204393850?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br />Heads up: This project contains boobs and butts and some blood, and it’s therefore NSFW, unless your work is cool about typical horror movie fare. If you’re squeamish about violence, know that there’s nothing excessively graphic, but these are horror movies I’m working with, for the most part, so there’s a certain base level of bodily violence that should be expected.<br /><br />My <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/09/rewind-80s-mix.html" target="_blank">previous video project</a> came out of nowhere, really, because I’d been pretty much only words up until that point, and while I’m happy I did it, I now feel like it’s mostly a messy and unstructured thing. I felt like I wanted to give it another shot and make something a bit more orderly. You can judge for yourself whether I achieved this. Regardless, I liked wrapping up a bunch of horror movies (and thereabouts) in colorful dressing and setting them to ’80s Euro pop (and thereabouts), and I hope you do too.<br /><br />A few notes:<br /><ul><li>I tried to make it so it looks good either on a computer monitor or a TV screen. </li><li>Please watch the credits.</li><li>Please watch for patterns.</li><li>I do acknowledge that the vast majority of characters appearing in this project are white people. I will blame that on the genre as it existed back in the day. I did my best to offer Geretta Geretta prominent placement.</li><li>I also acknowledge that a disproportionate number of victims of violence in this are female. I will again blame this on the genre as it existed back in the day.</li><li>I honestly love all of the movies and songs I included in this project, and in case anyone wants to point out that I am essentially using them all without permission, I’d like to clarify that I don’t intend to make a dime off this project and I consider it a remix—just one that blends video and music in a way that doesn’t exist online elsewhere and that does not intend to take the place of the original film or songs.</li><li>I started this project the day before Halloween and finished it on Valentine’s Day, meaning that the world seems a lot different now than it did beforehand. I will hold back on making any grand metaphors, but I did this because I wanted to try take movies that people might think of as scary or weird or dark and focus on the parts that make them beautiful. You can find nice moments even when things are scary, I guess. </li><li>The title comes from a 1972 Edwige Fenech film <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W54YxxBU5wQ"><i>All the Colors of the Dark</i></a>, which was released in the U.S. as <i>They’re Coming To Get You</i> and <i>Day of the Maniac</i>. I like my version of the title better.</li><li>The three through-lines between the first project and the second are, apparently, <a href="https://vimeo.com/181584682#t=49m31s" target="_blank">Dario Argento’s <i>Inferno</i></a> and <a href="https://vimeo.com/181584682#t=45m09s" target="_blank">Dorine Hollier’s “Tonight! (Crazy Night!)”</a> and <a href="https://vimeo.com/181584682#t=1h41m26s">the Bollywood version of <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street</i></a>. Regarding that last one, I made a handy ten-minute supercut of it that you can watch <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2015/09/the-bollywood-nightmare-on-elm-street.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</li><li>No, that really is Mia Farrow’s little sister.</li><li>No, that isn’t actually Shelley Winters.</li><li>I did actually make a little trailer for this project, and none of it appears in the final project. Watch, if your want, below.</li></ul><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/204788919?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><br /><a name='more'></a>And here is the list of source materials, in the order they appear, in case you’re trying to place a given song or movie.<br /><ul><li>Intro: <i>Suspiria</i> + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9jvYLQ0iEk" target="_blank">“Seconds” by Human League</a></li><li>Part one (“Green Goblin”): <a href="https://youtu.be/qqzP87WPsjE" target="_blank"><i>Demons</i></a> + <a href="https://vimeo.com/180467474" target="_blank">“Tonight! (Crazy Night)” by Dorine Hollier</a></li><li>Part two (“Blue Boy”): <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge</i> + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9BeYNaRhK0" target="_blank">“Right on Target” by Paul Parker</a></li><li>Part three (“Red River”): <i>House</i>/<i>Hausu</i> + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKCgxqPWyY4" target="_blank">“Crazy” by Daydream</a></li><li>Part four (“Italian Purple”): <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5F7Ma0vxoQ" target="_blank"><i>Blood and Black Lace</i></a> + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAbYY9Ff7OM" target="_blank">“Jamie” by Mistral</a> — and for the love of God please watch the original video for “Jamie,” as it will make your life immeasurably better and worse for having seen it</li><li>Part five (“Golden Dream”): <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7UA-2_DMzM" target="_blank"><i>Mahakaal</i></a> (plus a little of <i>A Nightmare on Elm Street</i> and<i> Nightmare on Elm Street 4</i>) + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVnNGDWJDKg">“Don’t Stop” by Gigamesh featuring Jana Nyberg</a></li><li>Part six (“Aquatic Ambiance”): <a href="https://vimeo.com/180445009" target="_blank"><i>Zombi 2</i></a> + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKAc3nYEatw" target="_blank">“Aquatic Ambiance” by David Wise</a></li><li>Part seven (“Strawberry Skies”): <i>Night of the Comet</i> + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5scYXIvAr7w" target="_blank">“Strawberry Skies” by Games featuring Laurel Halo</a></li><li>Part nine (“Bloody Silver”): <i>Profondo Rosso</i>, <i>Suspiria</i>, <i>Tenebre</i> and <i>Inferno</i> + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nlnoa67MUJU" target="_blank">“Slice Me Nice” by Fancy</a></li><li>End credits: “Seconds” by Human League + <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D20dF5Ao1mE" target="_blank">“Kraken of the Sea” by Keiichi Suzuki</a></li></ul>And here are all the segments individually, in case you want to see the bits in their pristine form.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/189554828?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/190204164?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="336" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/190419713?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="361" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/192418116?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/195229029?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/196687751?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="367" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/197863578?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/199521884?byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzNiT7cab1eSFcy8Ly4CKJ_cVyYLFTwce87MhBYMqX8AszA0Js3bGrpIUhcA0JJoc607npzU90LmbgJ-kZnaedwQducw6-jyn5R9MD97xUBVAYKVnw1Ca6i4wqXtzyhnoP2xi5Om_3Kxk/s1600/Screen+Shot+2017-02-21+at+12.24.18+PM.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="356" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzNiT7cab1eSFcy8Ly4CKJ_cVyYLFTwce87MhBYMqX8AszA0Js3bGrpIUhcA0JJoc607npzU90LmbgJ-kZnaedwQducw6-jyn5R9MD97xUBVAYKVnw1Ca6i4wqXtzyhnoP2xi5Om_3Kxk/s640/Screen+Shot+2017-02-21+at+12.24.18+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-34246239467323123882017-02-19T11:42:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:49.735-07:00Thank You for Being a FriendAbout a year ago, I interviewed a handful of writers from <i>The Golden Girls</i> about their experiences on the show. The piece did fairly well, mostly because a certain sort of ’80s child will reflexively click on anything <i>Golden Girls</i>-related but also maybe because I got a few good anecdotes out of the writers, including <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/03/the-best-bea-arthur-story-ive-ever-heard.html" target="_blank">the best Bea Arthur story I’d ever heard</a>. The pieced was published in <i>Frontiers</i>, however, and that magazine has ceased to exist—like, in any form. It’s even gone from the Google cache, weirdly, and <a href="https://www.frontiersmedia.com/featured-stories/2016/03/03/oral-history-golden-girls/">the original post</a> now seems to be completely inaccessible.<br /><br />Because I really liked this piece and because someone recently reached out to me asking if I had a copy of the text, I figure some other people might still like to read it. Here’s the writer’s room oral history piece in its entirety. <br /><br />St. Olaf and Big Daddy and thereabouts, I guess.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Thank You for Being a Friend — A </i>Golden Girls<i> Oral History</i></span><br /><i><br /></i> <i>More than 20 years later, the ladies are still sharing cheesecake, still talking life lessons out on the lanai and still making fans laugh. The final episode of </i>The Golden Girls <i>aired May 9, 1992, but thanks to around-the-clock reruns and a devoted fan base, Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia have endured in a way other TV characters haven’t. From the show’s first season, </i>The Golden Girls<i> has especially enjoyed popularity among gay audiences. (L.A.’s </i><a href="http://www.cavernclubtheater.com/GOLDENGIRLZ.HTML">Golden Girlz Live</a> <i>is perhaps the greatest realization of that popularity—the shining brooch on the Dorothy Zbornak ensemble that is </i>Golden Girls<i> fandom, if you will.) </i><br /><br /><i>In honor of the show’s continued success and its unique appeal to gay viewers,</i> Frontiers <i>spoke with some of the show’s writers about what sets the queen of sitcoms apart from the rest. Featured in this interview are Mort Nathan, co-executive producer and writer; Jamie Wooten, producer and writer; Winifred Hervey, co-producer and writer; Stan Zimmerman, writer; and Jeff Duteil, writer of the “Dorothy’s lesbian friend” episode. </i><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk-PrEYEWcfr3aTkVNPBbA1BMvuOUnHQaJE-eHHkC8P3p3riSWwmtNNQlAnHiL9vMnxFJoLszIb9HfQGZXZRbfK62jadsb5PryNeO6GFwplMZDNyqlWWfpdbJwD69bSKvGe2mIvV7cVD4/s1600/golden-girls-cast-photo.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgk-PrEYEWcfr3aTkVNPBbA1BMvuOUnHQaJE-eHHkC8P3p3riSWwmtNNQlAnHiL9vMnxFJoLszIb9HfQGZXZRbfK62jadsb5PryNeO6GFwplMZDNyqlWWfpdbJwD69bSKvGe2mIvV7cVD4/s640/golden-girls-cast-photo.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />Mort Nathan, on starting on the show from day one with writing partner Barry Fanaro: <i>We took the job knowing it would be writing for characters in their 60s, but the actresses were very skeptical. I remember that when we met Bea Arthur, she looked at us and said, “You’ve got to be kidding. How can these children write for us?” I told her, “Bea, give us a month. We’ll figure it out.” She said a month was fair, and then Betty White said, “Not one more day, darling.” </i><br /><br />Winifred Hervey: <i>These were ladies who had done</i> Maude <i>and</i> Mary Tyler Moore<i>. Estelle Getty had been on Broadway. These were substantial women, who’d had people like Norman Lear write for them, and they didn’t know that these people who were 25, 26 years old could write for them. But it worked. They got past that and they loved us.</i><br /><br />Nathan: <i>These women had a chance at revitalizing their careers, and they wanted to make sure they were in good hands. When my writing partner and I left after four years, though, it was as if we were going off to war. They were very upset. They loved us, and we loved them right back. </i><br /><br />Hervey: <i>When it was explained to me in the beginning, I think it was still being called </i>Miami Nice<i>. But the cast — they could have said the show was about anything and I would have signed up just to work with these women. And it was created by Susan Harris, who at the time was one of the brightest comedy writers in Hollywood. She had done </i>Soap<i> and </i>Benson<i>, and to work with Susan and [executive producers] Paul Junger Witt and Tony Thomas, that was a huge honor. </i><br /><br />Stan Zimmerman: <i>Casting those four — it was just magic in bottle. I remember back then, we didn’t have computers to look up the ratings. Remember, we didn’t know if it was going to be a hit. We knew it was funny, but you never know. And we wouldn’t know until we got in Monday what the ratings were. And they would say, “We’re No. 15 this week.” And we’d all go crazy. And next week they’d say, “We’re No. 8.” And then it was, “We’re No. 1.” And then it was “We’re No. 1” again. </i><br /><br />Nathan: <i>The ladies were happy to be at the top of their craft for a second time. Bea, Betty and Rue McClanahan were all big stars before, but work had gotten sporadic. But </i>Golden Girls<i> made them stars again, and they loved it — not because of their egos but because of the work. Sometimes the shows were three, four, five minutes too long just because the live audience’s laughs were so huge. Those people had such a great time, which means the ladies had such a great time. </i><br /><br />Jeffrey Duteil: <i>The show had a huge gay following — and right away, too. I remember getting ready on Saturday nights. We’d go meet friends at the bars or whatever, and while we were getting ready, we’d watch </i>The Golden Girls<i>. A lot of the gay bars back then, even Revolver, would tape the episode and then show it on the screen. A lot of them had viewing parties — even </i>Golden Girls<i> cocktails. And this was back in the first season.</i><br /><br />Jamie Wooten, who joined the show with writing partner Marc Cherry in the fifth season: <i>Marc and I watched a lot of television, and </i>Golden Girls<i> was our favorite show. We pitched an idea about Blanche’s dead husband having fathered an illegitimate child. It went well and they asked us to join the staff. It was surreal. We couldn’t believe we got onto our favorite show. </i><br /><br />Zimmerman, on joining with writing partner James Berg: <i>We came in and pitched a whole bunch. We were scared to death, and they just said, “No, no, no.” We were literally out the door, and I turned around and said, “What if Rose’s mother comes to visit?” And they were like “And?” I don’t know what I said, but they told us to sit back down. And we wrote it. </i><br /><br />Hervey: <i>Writing on the show, I learned a lot about staying true to the characters, leaning the actors’ voices and their strengths. Some people do one-liners really well. Some people do monologues. Like Bea hardly ever did long stories the way Betty, Rue and Estelle did. But I also learned you didn’t always even need to write words; actors like Bea could do a lot with just the lift of an eyebrow and get a laugh with just that. </i><br /><br />Zimmerman: <i>If it was [a line for] Bea Arthur, you could just have Rose say something dumb, and then all Dorothy would need to do is give a look. We discovered that all in the first season. We discovered Rose telling her long stories. We just started writing these St. Olaf stories and that became a runner. It was my school in structuring a joke and making sure it comes from the character. You can’t put Rose’s line in Dorothy’s mouth. If you were given lines from the show blind, you could easily say, “That’s Sofia. That’s Rose.” Now so much of TV isn’t written that way, and it’s bland. </i><br /><br />Wooten: <i>There was an interesting thing that Witt Thomas did in order to save money. Smaller guest parts were done at the table reads by writers. It was such a thrill. We would sit there and read these parts with the cast, and if you could make one of them laugh? Come on! Who ever gets to do that? </i><br /><br />Nathan, on the Emmy-winning script for the “Rose dates a little person” episode: <i>We would come up with ideas that service the character. Rose, for example, was a woman trying to re-establish her life and move forward. We figured that would start with dating. The premise of the show was that people who were 60 or 70 weren’t drastically different from people who were 20 or 30; everyone wants to be happy. We asked what conflict would be interesting for Betty, playing this naïve character, and would put her in an awkward position romantically. And that morphed into Rose going out with a little person, just because that presented her with these additional hurdles. </i><br /><br />Duteil: <i>The experiences the characters had, they spoke to people. Everyone says people like it because it reminds them of their own mothers or aunts or whatever, but I think back then, when AIDS was rampant and coming out was still a big deal, the gay community really felt these characters were an extension of their own communities. They were accepting and funny and bitchy. The best fag hags a guy could have. They were accepting. </i><br /><br />Hervey: <i>What we would do was we’d put a whole bunch of stuff in there and we’d know we wouldn’t get it all through. We’d put 10 things in, and there’s only one you really want, and in the end you get it. I remember they let us do this joke, and I couldn’t believe it: Blanche was talking about having smuggled a guy into her dormitory at finishing school, and there was a knock at her door and she remembers having politely hello’d with her foot, all up in the air. We thought it was hilarious and it would never get to air, but it did. And it got a huge laugh. </i><br /><br />Zimmerman, on the episode where Rose’s mother visits: <i>Bea Arthur’s mother had died two days before we filmed that, and the producers went to her and said they would cancel filming. She said, “Absolutely not.” She came from the theater. The show must go on. But that scene with Estelle, where Sophia thanks Dorothy for treating her like a person and not an old lady — you can see that Bea can’t look her in the eye. And I noticed that, because I knew what was going on. It’s this beautiful moment. I could just feel it between the two of them. It chokes right in her throat, to be there and thinking of your mother. But good actors use what you have, and she was that vulnerable and open. </i><br /><br />Hervey: <i>Bea was always my favorite. I left after the third season, and that’s the year she won her Emmy for Best Actress. I was at the ceremony, and after she gave her speech she came over and said, “Winifred, did you hear I mentioned your name, you little twat?” She was mad because I left.</i><br /><br />Nathan: TV Guide <i>had done a piece on the show: “</i>The Golden Girls <i>— Is it still as good as it was the first year?” And they asked random people what they thought of the show, and this one housewife said she didn’t think the show was as good and that Bea Arthur’s character wasn’t as interesting. They mentioned her by name — Mrs. Betty Johnson, Sioux Falls, Iowa. So Bea reads this at lunch and then gets on the phone and asks information for this Betty Johnson’s number. And she calls her. And she picks up, this </i>TV Guide<i> woman, and Bea says, “This is Bea Arthur, and I want to talk to you about what you said in </i>TV Guide<i>.” The woman was horrified. She said she was misquoted. “I didn’t mean it. Is it really you? I love the show. I take it back.” And Bea goes, “That’s what I thought. OK, that’s better.” </i><br /><br /><a name='more'></a>Hervey: <i>And then Bea said “That person’s going to go tell everyone that I called her, and no one’s going to believe her.”</i><br /><br />Zimmerman: <i>Years later, [Berg and I] were going to see that movie </i>The Opposite of Sex<i>, and ahead of us in line was Bea Arthur and Angela Lansbury. And we were like, “Holy fuck — we’re sitting right behind them. And they were laughing at the dirtiest stuff in that movie. And it was Mame. That was everything. We were like, “Who drove? How many cocktails did they have on the way over?” </i><br /><br />Hervey: <i>One time we were at the studio on Cahuenga and Bea had stopped for gas on the way home, and she realized she’d forgotten her credit card. So she tells the guy at the station, “I’m good for it. I’m Bea Arthur. I’m on </i>The Golden Girls<i>.” He had no idea who she was, and so she ended up driving with the guy back to the studio, back to her dressing room, to get her credit card to prove who she was. And we all thought that was funny — that the show was so huge and this guy who works two blocks from the studio wouldn’t know who Bea Arthur was. </i><br /><br />Nathan: <i>Rue hadn’t been a sex object for a while before the show started, and all of a sudden she was playing the femme fatale again. It was in the first few weeks of the show, and she said, “The most amazingly strange thing happened. I was walking down the street and these construction workers started screaming at me. They were screaming, “Hey, Blanche” and they were saying these filthy things and grabbing their personal parts suggestively.” And I said “No kidding!” And she leaned into me and said, “To be honest, I loved it.”</i><br /><br />Wooten: <i>I personally loved writing Blanche. I’m from North Carolina, so the southern vixen came easily to me. I just loved seeing what she did with it. There was an episode called “Journey to the Center of Attention,” where Blanche, who was the queen of the Rusty Anchor bar, took Dorothy there and then became jealous when Dorothy became as popular. Rue was wonderful in that. </i><br /><br />Nathan: <i>We were doing a thing where Betty White was on a harness and we had to swing her in at a specific time. She was literally coming down from the rafters, and we couldn’t get it right. So we’d bring her down, hoist her back up, and she’d be swinging around again. Sometimes she’d be upside-down. Sometimes she’d be flying around like a kite. This went on for a half-hour, and someone eventually says to me, “Mort, maybe you should give Betty a break. She’s in her 60s and you’re hanging her upside-down from a wire. So I look up at Betty, who was half-upside-down, and I ask, “Betty, would you like a break?” And she screams down, “That would be nice, darling!” We brought her down, but what struck me about that was that she did not want to break the professionalism of the moment. She would have hung there until she passed out before she’d break the rhythm of the show. I thought, “That is one tough lady.” </i><br /><br />Zimmerman:<i> People are always surprised when I tell them that when I was on</i> Golden Girls<i>, there were no gay people there. [Berg and I] were the first. Early on, Estelle pulled us to the side of the set and said, “You’re one of us.” And I was like, “Yeah, we’re Jewish.” And she was like, “No, gay.” She thought of herself as part of the family, because of </i>Torch Song Trilogy<i>. Right then and there, we fell madly in love with her. </i><br /><br />Wooten: <i>The gay community loved Estelle, and she loved them right back. I spent time with Estelle outside the show, and I saw firsthand just how much she meant to them — us. I never met her husband or her children, but she was never alone. I think a lot of us helped her fill her time off set. She’d set me up on blind dates. Some went well, and some went horribly awry. But she really blossomed late in life, and I really treasure my time with her. </i><br /><br />Duteil, on the stirring defense of gay marriage that Sophia delivers in his episode: <i>That speech coming from her made it better than if any other character had said it. You might have expected other characters to have said that, but for Sophia — the oldest one, who’s from a different generation — it meant more. It also meant a lot that they chose that episode to submit for the Emmys that year — just the fact that it dealt with that subject matter. They could have picked another episode, but they didn’t.</i><br /><br />Zimmerman: <i>People always say the show seemed gay or it had a gay vibe. I think it was because the women were sexually active. They talked about it like gay men do. But it was never thought of as having a gay sensibility. I’d like to take credit for all of that, but I really can’t. </i><br /><br />Hervey: <i>To me, the show was diverse because I am black. So I was diverse. I really didn’t know about who was gay and who wasn’t. I didn’t even know Stan and Jim were gay until much later, to be honest. But we were pretty young back then. </i><br /><br />Duteil: <i>I’d always like to push the envelope as far as gay stuff goes. So I wrote the episode where Dorothy’s lesbian friend falls in love with Rose. I got an Emmy nomination for it, and it changed my life. It was my first break. I didn’t win the Emmy. I lost to an hour-long</i> Family Ties<i> where they killed off Alex’s best friend. Maybe if I’d killed off my lesbian, I would have won. </i><br /><br />Wooten: <i>Because the show was a big, fat hit, they left us alone. We wrote the episode where Blanche’s gay brother wants to get married, and not once did anyone say a word to us. There were no questions. It was only after the episode aired that we got hate mail, but no one ever said, “Don’t do this.” We had total support. But I was naïve. For example, I was listed in the phone book. And after that episode aired, they found me, and I had these blisteringly horrible phone messages. I learned a lesson there, but we wanted to make a statement, and we were allowed to do that. </i><br /><br />Nathan: <i>These characters were decent, funny people who had a good perspective on the issues that people were going though, and I think that’s why people in the gay community gravitated toward it. [The characters] were quirky people, but they were also people who wouldn’t stand for bigotry, wouldn’t stand for racism, wouldn’t stand for sexism. At the end of the day, they always landed on the right side of people’s struggles. </i><br /><br />Zimmerman: <i>They were playing it in gay bars, but the great thing about this show was that the fans went from little kids to grandparents — everybody of all age brackets and sexual persuasions. It’s a beloved show. That doesn’t happen too often, and that’s what I think has allowed it to maintain this crazy staying power. </i><br /><br />Wooten: <i>Rue used to visit us when we lived in North Carolina. She was so cute, she made me call her Cousin Rue, because we were both Southern. And I said, “Rue, why is this show still on?” By then it was in reruns on every channel, and she looked at me like I’d lost my mind. She said, “Jamie, it’s the new </i>I Love Lucy<i>.” And I thought about it. She was right — not in that it’s the same as</i> I Love Lucy<i>, but </i>Golden Girls<i> repeats and repeats and you’ll just watch it. “Oh, I’ve seen this one a million times. I’ve seen them all a million times.” But there’s something about it that pulls you in.</i>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-19260270550472005442017-02-08T12:26:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:50.083-07:00Thurmanniversary The general consensus among people I talk to on a regular basis was that 2016 felt like one long, drawn-out roller coaster accident that only managed to get louder and more fiery as the months passed by. I agree, and while I think every horrible thing accumulated to overall more stress than I’d experienced in a previous single year, I have to say 2016 also gave me one of the best things to ever happen to me: On February 5, 2016, a seventy-pound bag of hair and grumbles <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BBbG6liD_LY/" target="_blank">came to live with me</a>. His name is Thurman. His is my dog. And I love him very much.<br /><br />Behold.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="600" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/203180456?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="600"></iframe><br /></div><br />I know it’s trite to say, but as soon as Thurman got here, it seemed like he’d always been here, and it’s hard to imagine life in my house without him, wandering around this place like a little king. That was apparent to me those first few days, when I was supposedly fostering him as opposed to rescuing and adopting him outright. He just quickly and seamlessly folded into the day-to-day, which is all the more remarkable considering how he’s essentially a walking money pit, how he’s irreparably damaged my hardwood floors, and how he’s rendered me a social pariah as a result of unreasonable hostility toward motorcycles, skateboards, strollers, wheelchairs and Caucasian children.<br /><br />I can, however, make a comparison that illustrates the difference a single year makes. A few days ago, I looked around online to try and find any trace of Thurman’s life with his original owners. The name, after all, came with the dog, and it seems reasonable that they might have posted about him somewhere online before they decided to abandon him. The results gave me three bits of information: 1) Uma Thurman poses with dogs often enough to jack the results; 2) Rachel Bilson also has or had a dog named Thurman; and finally once references to those two actress were eliminated, 3) Thurman’s <a href="http://www.adoptapet.com/pet/13452207-los-angeles-california-border-collie-mix" target="_blank">old adoption profile photo</a> still exists online. Even though it would have been my first glimpse of Thurman, I find this photo hard to look at now, just because he seems sad and underweight and altogether unwell.<br /><br />For contrast, here below is that photo next to one I took this morning, post-walk.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeUzChrMDjyQ16uReyqDmvkIgqG3wvh7iGzroPpr3vLVmQaU_QBHBf7fn50oSCOUsO6WwznhD2EEQ41oHSBnW0ew7k5m5PW8d0VV3jbexSz7H4DHmtm7tcTw9qbcKQYUncU3R1rh_zOFc/s1600/thurman-dog-before-after.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="416" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeUzChrMDjyQ16uReyqDmvkIgqG3wvh7iGzroPpr3vLVmQaU_QBHBf7fn50oSCOUsO6WwznhD2EEQ41oHSBnW0ew7k5m5PW8d0VV3jbexSz7H4DHmtm7tcTw9qbcKQYUncU3R1rh_zOFc/s640/thurman-dog-before-after.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />I think he looks happier, but I’m biased. I’m willing to call it a win, and add to it the reminder that good things can still happen even in times of chaos and strife. This weird animal—Thurman Snowfoot Goldeneyes Snaroo Thurmanski—is one of those.<br /><br />If you are not yet exhausted by me talking about my dog, hit the jump to see a visual summary of his past year.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BDWpLtODomN/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHuRiBGFHBYpxPVWMaQWmY5aTREBcPHFYNUfOWsJy582iZIH9tHaGO6kFhQP30M77nZKijgt3-7MYdDMPTdjp_pxhtpb1HhpakXjZRVR7t_eoKIdt69MhXWpW1fRdJCVYiuehp2uaPnnU/s640/atwater-village-dog.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman explored the wilds of Atwater Village.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BB2utG9D_If/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV4KniVUOshyphenhyphen6NW0jXR29gayuSxwskShdQrdyKGweXiWhMuvukjDCkWuD1NeVC3L8MaYWFZmYAUcxieLXt5K5gKFLRXG9vrL0YMnDgUJ9FRYK2-_o0_2F8I9UzlV1J6TY33RLly9F9pMk/s640/berger-picard-ears.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman was upstaged by his own ears.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BD1CcjPjoro/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCNExkslo-rOlZqlA6UrRWVUFUJgQtlS7lpETgIba_CvqpzL7gf1jA8pdjjmWCVzO3gVvWIwx0uun-cS-EKj4kS1PUhmn1YZPR5PhQi9j6NJYF6u8ZWBHtoxTy53YYzoV_sjU50qAMx8I/s640/thurman-dog-berger-picard.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman showed off his legs.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BE7fJSSDorY/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0Ea4YjK1LpmMw9qnaiQ0osXRmP-QSYycjICThgk5VJJnWUSz4OEy5105AouEyEysZh24QiZnpjsz1a2Mf9u4Ur5yGR_fzv-FYyJtvubr-wfNfWVE-F5cvNr4dnOWcvqgV3TIX0cPjVME/s640/thurman-dog-anxious.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman experienced near-constant existential angst.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BGPOYhtD_PN/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix_UA6wADQOmnEfD9Nw5rlpVzpVFmvoaYJTHKnYlZpxgNTKK49jt4m3pCcxgMLRli0Wolr7UHt1RxpXPkYt06dTx3iZ8NNKZl7lDOfaHwzHOV8OmNgwqEEb2BNx89bJGaLKb3wDZRrxq0/s640/thurman-dog-birthday.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman exhibited remarkable penmanship.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BGw4vvajot2/"><img border="0" height="638" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2HdwOsAOj4pUijJ8ieAdIbU8yxF4T7ZEV_0UBy_9w-C-tFwq6YPL3NwWeUJfd6rml4WZmTZBJIBtHgzDO0XJs1JFiKtfI12Toft8SS7fv5UkBJYBJML8h_mq5WoumD3Fdb9pS1CBPREI/s640/Screen+Shot+2017-02-08+at+12.09.44+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman was a snake in the grass.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BHDa1eLjQzE/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhloc3lS-wrm86OgZyfgy2KUadmLgIBImUh88ZwQLpYg0L5zPLLn-Fw6vNnFtifNmzNOenTjTEV1CSdc9SFYoH_J8u-0-sm9CbvGuqenIcIFCcW01faovvnjk2rREAohZ_XVhckYzouy74/s640/thurman-dog-camouflage.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman practiced camouflage.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BHLHlZYhK0a/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJDosUzrwiFIUiiIKybwUXZjP1dqMS2W2mRlE2dZVe3siqAy_ISOxvPx90Gd4NQzkEjzzbY08-I5VJ3CjcU3oGZH_LA2pK_hA1NXIg8hHcB3fBJp5-V36wgympfqFTpMHZwp_yS_N2B4A/s640/thurman-dog-haircut.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman got a “class picture day” haircut.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BH-9gWWhV-r/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjg7XaoyZZrB0Sw-0i7gjBr6cbbTECjArhWZBnej0RYDbbCN9D0Ld1xPp4Cg3wA7LTzAmPM8T3u2i-Im013tvCIW3yM8-xaQam9wA4ee7H3fNjmOWJN26qlanEoWSWaehRPZJxc22KAIKc/s640/dog-boyfriend-girlfriend.jpg" width="640" /></a>\</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thurman experienced love—and then heartbreak when that love went unrequited.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BILdpD_A4Gc/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC43n4vFY-QGae00AMdN1jP46ZSREV_8cikzjZmr7LMdK_QhwWtGw3EA4cjcZCllmJjcS0-WBtAWe-3Y3TiuHb-sJxRTKe5_Yr16PGNdW1Q04r2hb2X7dvE3FBTTwr1V-GjC4SrONLeS0/s640/dog-wearing-hat.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman briefly wore a hat.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BI7yuT8jCDS/"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPpF6lqqaOql5Svnp9ZavK5E12rULF8yJONvwIGi-HQ_NZCpntYf5_nEcqEEkD3JF0j7aQRkt1Y-_mwBBd_LUyLmRrxRlKzNOzGKoNVKm5lf3Vb4iGYFJXRT8njsf8FfUBwAvkkjkj-hs/s640/thurman-dog.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman learned to appreciate spooning and human beds.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BJg52O-g9Fr/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTyGDqbVGYHT3trVR3R3na83DXtHlMN637JO7CbDKqfyaoveSt4hKEbu1jwzhBrSy8txj5VgsrgEHHrF-v6CTrlaG4Jlj3F2OmaA8myjh8T4LS8j0z6ZKDYCZX34_A0LPy8VKt7FvVESc/s640/dog-paparazzi.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman came to both respect and fear the paparazzi.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNxZ5SmAdpPCjpFZeNjYYjhFdrvcAnYdLD1XG9DxEX9Bww4pwvQTj-Oa7xOAv3z9A8EXV9JeQX20YQp3RWw4IPZ8jers-BVcwkE-p_FWV9zhfFKAsUIt1PLszyARDWi18TbP-Z-_tnanM/s1600/thurman-dog-la-river-atwater.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNxZ5SmAdpPCjpFZeNjYYjhFdrvcAnYdLD1XG9DxEX9Bww4pwvQTj-Oa7xOAv3z9A8EXV9JeQX20YQp3RWw4IPZ8jers-BVcwkE-p_FWV9zhfFKAsUIt1PLszyARDWi18TbP-Z-_tnanM/s640/thurman-dog-la-river-atwater.jpg" width="520" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman came to enjoy the smells of the L.A. River</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BKv3DjqBVam/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1C5VlvylQipNjn7UkJHM4_Xx7RCh-yVsOLQRoI6bsyIzKqRbkVRbI6Fpq3YsSGBwfeOCNlTTe7UJh85YwgyuihCrvgttxXZ5YG9RG7HRKVSIFf2AiLgIqI3PVzVRkWzMI81X7Ub33FVk/s640/thurman-dog-takes-selfie.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman learned how to take a selfie.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BLt5PYdAjyP/"><img border="0" height="636" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_DU0sXJOJ0tFlDTR66ovK0S12OcOxXKHXw1aj8KnF-pqseEvwCSTCqHitnxyvSARwaPFuaFuD_ZZTdKdQs2qsXyHNGqs6_bgQ1pcMCS2b1VdqYiIVvK6Em4RU8WjZUJ2TzIZp-W83gQo/s640/Screen+Shot+2017-02-08+at+11.45.21+AM.png" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman destroyed a lamb, butt-first.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BMSiBWJBBzs/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZCpvjilDkMnWkZgXYX4Fz7XdzBs_QjMS7EaONnjCS7oYG1GVk6rwS3cT1tzYRyN-IxqArel4tIoD6yDXSTE73ifre6wE7WbGTuOjuqc2VzwRCwUAar85nJtVbcUSeQixZKU0bW2Hg2sY/s640/thurman-dog-atwater.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thurman learned about posing in dramatic lighting.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BOVPcdCgK3H/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAN-JBBs8DUEuCfPBOjS7raX4GLmWLpLr3dfmAMRbDClVPyzT2LOecI-CKP5nWUxZrrgYfcH_XfBSg90iRC4eiDHPv35onCN8VYbBfeu9kx9EdWog2OeAOWUUJir2AXaA4KpGV4Jv_OCE/s640/drew-mackie-dog-thurman.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thurman learned about pathetic fallacy.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BO74GKyAXBi/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuo0snlh_V6awqhr5QoRhmoTbI5B8jsLij2pU9_FXCiijTAcTTpCruf8Gwxsg6WCn5jYmXatuTk7nHlCO_TWZgcnGWOjKGFJR2TlAKgELS1SEdZAyGK-xV33qtzEp8vWkxnlLPLXFprO4/s640/thurman-no-work-only-dog.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman effectively shut down all work.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BPQvGi_g9nX/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_bOakCJa-uFuqouRnylS9BUi7hbPnJ_URBwuUPXZTukGBTEQ6GKijpqvRi91LWb_B90Kgwiv8V5OySUEVGB4hDo6mqcs-5-fZ4P2CbLbCyiLB23iY3beLhI_NktHMVMPMOO_5ZpLrWVA/s640/dog-thurman-oliver-james.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Thurman made his first dog friend: Oliver James, sentient cinnamon roll.</div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BPl5le1g1UZ/"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVLsNxXFXSVQbanAdKfcnW44PSbN4xnyrxyXc3kijgZop7CN_5F3merkGw4x0BI_3mQeOWO7qEb47Ntxv5ID2ccxq4woWteNRaOHP3XqKzaqUfTZmsfgHcIbB8vn6pArDYSrjY9W0pzxQ/s640/thurman-wet-dog.jpg" width="640" /></a><span id="goog_716267459"></span><span id="goog_716267460"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Thurman resented me for making him endure the rain.</div><br />That’s not all that happened, and I’m sure Thurman would represent his past year differently, but that’s the gist, really. In closing, I’d also like to add a new member to the club of <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/04/various-nostalgic-culture-icons-my-dog.html" target="_blank">pop culture characters that my dog (apparently) looks like</a>: the dog from <em>The Storyteller</em>.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/gDCOoJSeEc4?start=78" width="560"></iframe><br /></div><br />I continue to accept submissions. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-69477749146649723122017-01-10T00:32:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:50.434-07:00The Saddest Super Mario Fan Art You Will Ever SeeHi.<br /><br />It’s 2017, and one of the promises I made this new year was to write on my blog more often. It’s more for me than you, because it’s helpful for me to put thoughts into writing and better understand myself, but maybe it’s entertaining for you to gawk at my weird mental processes.<br /><br />I’ve been going to a therapist for three years now, and more often than not, I end up talking about the way I was—how my childhood shaped the way I operate today. It may not surprise you to find out that I was an introverted kid, to the point that I didn’t have close friendships, and I think I tried to fill that void with TV and books and video games. Often, I’d get more attached to fictional worlds than I was to real ones. I’m still this way to an extent, but until I began talking to my therapist, I’d forgotten how deeply I sunk into all this stuff back in the day.<br /><br />While I was home for Christmas, I had to clean out boxes of childhood stuff, and this included a lot of drawings I made. Here’s the one that made me want to go back in time and tell seven-year-old me that it was going to be okay.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip0CvDXeCgjD_WS0dm-YhD4VBiErI6SsD-REVK0659luHsZ54snnX61g09leY2G7A37ojBbB4wlymJHdnVR4KmxH9-2xJFPEqLD24q_bob3U006QARO71v7f3JVUnuG9v7FEOZPlEQgZw/s1600/smb2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="442" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip0CvDXeCgjD_WS0dm-YhD4VBiErI6SsD-REVK0659luHsZ54snnX61g09leY2G7A37ojBbB4wlymJHdnVR4KmxH9-2xJFPEqLD24q_bob3U006QARO71v7f3JVUnuG9v7FEOZPlEQgZw/s640/smb2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>If you can’t tell, it’s a masterpiece inspired by the first two <em>Super Mario Bros.</em> games. The 34-year-old me has some notes.<br /><ul><li>The scale is all off. Why is the 1-up mushroom so much bigger than everything else?</li><li>I’m fairly certain that’s Princess Toadstool at the bottom. Why she has a coin on her head and why she’s telling it to leave is beyond me. (I’ll ask my therapist about it.) But the fact that she’s in the foreground—or what would be the foreground, if I understood a damned thing about perspective—is probably telling of a bond that would <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/04/howard-phillips-super-mario-bros-2-princess-peach.html" target="_blank">last long into adulthood</a>.</li><li>I have no idea why there’s only one Mario brother, why he’s so much smaller than the rest of the characters and why he’s lacking a mustache. Maybe I didn’t like mustaches back then?</li><li>To the right of Generic Hero Plumber, I appear to have drawn a potion from <em>Super Mario Bros. 2</em> but have given it a face. Unsure why. Ditto on what would appear to be a hammer and a mushroom block below it.</li><li>The question mark on the question mark box is backwards. What a fucking idiot I was.</li><li>I have no idea what the mushroom-like thing in the top-left corner is supposed to be. Because it’s <em>Mario</em>, I’d assume it’s a mushroom, but I think I proved that I could more competently draw those elsewhere in this piece. Anyone?</li><li>In the center of the piece, I seem to have drawn two Toads—a boy one on the right and girl one on the left, who has long hair and who seems to be taking off her mushroom hat in a vaguely seductive fashion. This is notable because my fanciful she-Toad preceded the introduction of ones in the games by years, though it may be that the Toads could <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2014/09/toad-mushroom-retainer-female.html" target="_blank">maybe have been intended to be female</a> in the first place.</li><li>I *think* the small thing immediately below the maybe-mushroom in the top left corner is a female version of the pluckable, chuckable vegetables from <em>Super Mario Bros. 2</em>. And I *think* the thing immediately below it (her?) is a smiling version of the springboards from <em>Super Mario Bros.</em>, with a face in the void between the top and bottom halves. Who can say for sure? Again, what an idiot I was.</li></ul>So that’s the drawing. It’s not all that different from stuff other kids drew out of love of whatever thing they were into, but here’s the part that stung a little bit. There is a piece of lined paper taped to the bottom, and on it I’ve written something strange, albeit in lovely penmanship for a seven-year-old.<br /><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82DfB8xUqbLozHc7Eo-UoLWS-Oirymf812z7Vwgbkf3pt3nVJnUMgw5n4iSwUCQhCw0XKTOnFsM1DQeSRcJW84bYOFlPHCv3amtnqTJt5TlAA9qureebUGPRGec3LNd-NvTtNPyUTuTY/s1600/IMG_20170109_0003.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg82DfB8xUqbLozHc7Eo-UoLWS-Oirymf812z7Vwgbkf3pt3nVJnUMgw5n4iSwUCQhCw0XKTOnFsM1DQeSRcJW84bYOFlPHCv3amtnqTJt5TlAA9qureebUGPRGec3LNd-NvTtNPyUTuTY/s640/IMG_20170109_0003.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br />“Happy Birthday Drew! From all of us from Nintendo’s Mario 1 and 2!”<br /><br />I made myself a fucking birthday card—from fictional entities that I cared about enough that I felt like I deserved to hear from them on my special day. On one hand, it’s cute, but on another, it’s weird. I was lonely, and so I gathered together the stuff that was familiar, which included a lot of smiling produce but also a lot of other stuff from the games that didn’t come with faces but which I gave faces anyway, possibly to make it look like more friends were happy to see me. This makes me a little sad.<br /><br />So yeah, that’s a weird thing to process. But just as <em>Super Mario Bros.</em> begat <em>Super Mario Bros. 2</em>, there’s a sequel to this little anecdote.<br /><br />Late last year, I finally made good on something I’d wanted to do for years: I drove to <a href="https://www.vintagearcade.net/" target="_blank">an arcade machine refurbishment studio</a> in Glendale and put money down on a custom build—a repurposed frame that the people there can fit with a new CPU, new monitor and new control panel and load up with old video games. I’d known about this place for years, but it took me until November to go in and order the thing. I’m very excited, because I’ll get to play games I loved for years in the format they were intended to be enjoyed, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that one of the best reasons I was excited by this whole project was that I could design my own art for the machine’s control panel and above-the-screen marquee.<br /><br />Without hesitation, I knew what I wanted, and I made it.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFl0v0ukE6v4YQgwjtXw8x1e_jwlYqC0S7ikoSjEyC4zeBehjnDUqn3KFkpoYUfxC7zQPAfFI9Nf3WRymaWQKz00XS3yk9DQoqpFw3JvwTaahznm_AXwdcjj3d1OHcTgiitmFb5rx9ysY/s1600/super-mario-2-marquee.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="204" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFl0v0ukE6v4YQgwjtXw8x1e_jwlYqC0S7ikoSjEyC4zeBehjnDUqn3KFkpoYUfxC7zQPAfFI9Nf3WRymaWQKz00XS3yk9DQoqpFw3JvwTaahznm_AXwdcjj3d1OHcTgiitmFb5rx9ysY/s640/super-mario-2-marquee.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />On the top, it’s <em>Super Mario Bros. 2</em>—and <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2013/12/doki-doki-panic-instruction-booklet.html" target="_blank">the game that preceded it</a> that isn’t <em>Super Mario Bros.</em>—and it’s all made from the original sprites, modified just a tad, for aesthetic purposes and because it’s mine so whatever. Do note that in this version, I still made the princess front and center. In fact, she’s leading the charge. When the machine is turned on, this will light up, and I’m more excited for this than I can tell you.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMTzBLcmPnYTlQmoKdNolxae37z8C7aaFy_obaNP7qRP0MSty0_4DY4fV5Yi_mzvQmQVWctVkR1AW2Qu4TmMj8HbXjKx71bcyQkfRCv89h0HXGn4NYh2udJFg3W4mDDKhHnycnM0OB6vE/s1600/super-mario-2-control-panel.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMTzBLcmPnYTlQmoKdNolxae37z8C7aaFy_obaNP7qRP0MSty0_4DY4fV5Yi_mzvQmQVWctVkR1AW2Qu4TmMj8HbXjKx71bcyQkfRCv89h0HXGn4NYh2udJFg3W4mDDKhHnycnM0OB6vE/s640/super-mario-2-control-panel.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />On the bottom, it’s a mosaic of all the items from <em>Super Mario Bros. 2</em> and <em>Doki Doki Panic</em>, most of which I realize are smiling produce. Old habits die hard, but no, I didn’t draw little pixelated smiles onto the items that didn’t have them in the first place, but I still made a whole wallpaper of grinning vegetables to look back at me when I finally get to play at this thing.<br /><br />Nearly three decades later, I’m still seeking refuge in the stuff that felt safe when I was a kid. I feel like that’s an important connection to make. And believe me, I realize that a private arcade paradise won’t necessarily be the thing that gets me out into the world and interacting face-to-face in the way I didn’t get enough of as a kid. But hey—this machine has controls for a player one and a player two. I intend to make use of both in 2017.<br /><br />Here’s to typing it all out. kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-24894562133130526202016-12-26T12:39:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:50.782-07:00Still Doesn’t FitI made different choices that the rest of my family did. This is never more apparent than when I’m home for Christmas, because every goddamn impulse and instinct I have gets second-guessed. But it’s some family member who does this second-guessing; it’s me, projecting questions about why and how that I anticipate they’ll ask—or at least think about and then not mention, because they considering it for a second made them think better of asking.<br /><br />Going home means not only the awkwardness of leaving your own house to stay in someone else’s, where the rules are different and the snack situation is just this baffling tragedy; it’s also the awkwardness of the fact that the old me still lives in my parents’ house. He kind of sucks. He spent years scurrying around trying to make other people happy in an effort to hide the fact that he wasn’t. Looking back on the old me, I can’t imagine where I found the energy.<br /><br />The old me is tidily symbolized by a vintage ’90s Drew artifact I found in a storage bin, along with my high school graduation gown, some photo albums and the course catalogue I received before my freshman year of college.<br /><br />It’s my letterman jacket.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrzWo6gdelfNc6OqfLpd4DYjNtDYEhdL2742QFZN4ZfGLR8seIY_V24KYcbUyFPNMlJK4x69UqUhyfL6wYlTvP2VOkT6xGSjNPJMFRx-sg-W_NEzh0jW7f0OZC7ZBCeKB2dj_8B-jO-Zg/s1600/image2.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrzWo6gdelfNc6OqfLpd4DYjNtDYEhdL2742QFZN4ZfGLR8seIY_V24KYcbUyFPNMlJK4x69UqUhyfL6wYlTvP2VOkT6xGSjNPJMFRx-sg-W_NEzh0jW7f0OZC7ZBCeKB2dj_8B-jO-Zg/s400/image2.JPG" width="321" /></a></div><br />Looking at it now, I can’t believe this is a thing I own. It’s not me. It wasn’t me then, and I knew that, but I ultimately said yes when I was told I would be receiving one as a present—in reward for athletic greatness that never really happened, I guess, and in a misguided to achieve some kind of status I wouldn’t otherwise have had. I remember being told it was an honor. It didn’t feel like one. A Neo-Geo would have been an honor, but I got this fucking jacket instead. I think I wore it once, felt like I was playing dress-up in someone else’s clothes and returned it to my locker before lunch. It didn’t work. I don’t think I thought it would work but the fact that I accepted it and tried it anyway just makes me realize how impossible it was for me to speak up for myself.<br /><br />Now I don’t know what to do with it. My parents are moving out of the house I grew up in, and in a sense that’s good for me, because whatever bedroom I’ll be taking in the future won’t be haunted by the ghost of Old Drew. But for the life of me, I can’t figure out where to put this letterman jacket. In another storage bin? In my closet in Los Angeles as a stern reminder not to pretend I’m someone I’m not? In the garbage?<br /><br />In one of those instances where the symbolism, should it be written this way in a novel, would be too on-the-nose, I would like to point out that sixteen years later, this fucking stupid jacket still doesn’t fit me. The sleeves are too long and too big—designed for a far more ripped human being, I guess—and I can’t even imagine how ridiculous this would have looked on my 150-pound frame back when I was a senior in high school.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BOfnmTugWdg/?taken-by=kidicarus222"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAbdTD2FIbtwruuKejw_7LVu_JQIO0pFpAS8EwFaHeeygXml_Xtg1IM_R3XK8ooG7hKZYrcNv3-BT1mo1rztapZagxpCvbESwYfYMMOStZCmIr2-n-RRrrWYY6XQ_xgjSzMus-qct6AjA/s400/image1.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br />It probably says a lot that I look at those sleeve cuffs enveloping my hands and have the reaction, “Hey, I’m wearing it like Party of Five-era Jennifer Love Hewitt.” kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3337365607234181028.post-86331740760777942732016-11-27T13:31:00.000-08:002021-05-14T18:46:51.132-07:00More Than a SmithersIn 1996, I didn’t know I was gay. But I knew something was up.<br /><br />That year, <i>The Simpsons</i> aired the episode “Homer the Smithers,” in which Homer must fill in as Mr. Burns’ assistant while Mr. Smithers is on vacation. Whenever Smithers calls in to check on the situation, you see a quick peek at where he’s spending his away time, and in one scene in particular, Smithers mentions that “picture-taking isn’t allowed at this particular resort.” He’s in a dance club, and he hangs up the phone because there’s a line forming behind him.<br /><br />It’s a conga line. And it’s all dudes.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BNU6fI_Apba/"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM1xHOT8LWi3VRbVKu1Xp-Rk6Hv7rbc6oFeBCzcLGPJ1FuQjen3KQtNMatWNGR_J5XjI6Y-UWsuA1Icr1XdAY3LVlAdBaI3XY_FIEZLkitZ1MjbcdqNQP761gxxmP1ofvQnWlHX_WBIsI/s1600/tumblr_ohbhtrKbdn1qfgtfho1_500.jpg" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://frinkiac.com/caption/S07E17/679945"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEickZXdKnWeZ9dZIxzxCRJpeXvhxMAMgKQSZhJYgytGf6r-gc5j5vwbMSIFJ3a5JuP8hONOiCgN9H5HY5FUSPvP-DpUBUXcQhJI-TQk2PdtXLtGYTNPtdU7RFazTWANFFl_uK2N-XgEdv4/s1600/simpsons-smithers-gay-vacation.jpg" /></a></div><br />Being twelve years old and generally clueless about the world, I didn’t know what to make of this scene. I can remember asking my mom what kind of vacation place wouldn’t allow photography, and she had no idea. I didn’t mention the conga line of men, because despite not having an inkling about myself, I felt like that wasn’t something I should be expressing curiosity about.<br /><br />I also didn’t mention a later scene in which Smithers is towing a pyramid of male waterskiers, all of whom are wearing pink speedos.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://frinkiac.com/caption/S07E17/832765"><img border="0" height="462" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTe3t5S1uOzgD5XLwOYoEaDMLT7H-LBfCJVsiZ6_Q5G-SyINts4geZevx1WLCvFfiDxhXjmxbEGNFayTsiOOygPnJKkOLe0IhD1oBDgfTHrYmzhpF-LWEklciUAliXVyGp4X0lnSd3yu8/s640/Screen+Shot+2016-11-27+at+1.21.47+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div><br />I suppose I’m writing this for two reasons. First, when I did realize a few years later, I still didn’t know much about the world. This episode informed my idea of what gay men were like, at least to an extent, and I guess I figured one day I would be going to some weird beach resort where photography wasn’t allowed. I haven’t done that, at least not yet, and I don’t know when I learned that these types of vacations weren’t a requirement of being gay. (Going to Fire Island apparently is a requirement, but social media tells me that this trips are throughly documented with photos. In any case, Palm Springs is closer to Los Angeles.) When you don’t have access to information about what gay people actually do and when you sure as hell don’t talk to anyone about it, it’s strange how this little scraps of representation end up becoming all you have.<br /><br />Watching this episode twenty years later—it just aired on Sunday as part of the FXX Thanksgiving marathon—I also realize that I never thought I would have gotten to the point I’m at now. I’m gay. Anyone who matters knows. And all that happened well before <a href="http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2016/04/04/the_simpsons_coming_out_episode_was_a_disappointment.html" target="_blank">it happened for Smithers</a>. Before high school, he was the only gay character I knew well, and at some point I guess I figured I’d end up like him: quietly and inconspicuously gay, never being outright with it, and somehow living a smaller life as a result. That didn’t happen. I didn’t ever think about it terms of me outpacing Smithers until now, but I’m glad it happened.<br /><br />The other point is a harder one to put into words, but it has something to do with being a kid who’d grow up to be gay, not being consciously aware of those feelings and yet somehow going through life seeing things and occasionally saying “Oh, that.” I’m not sure what I thought my brain was doing, but it’s weird to be paying attention to something without understanding what the draw is, if that makes sense. It wasn’t always so obvious, either—although it certainly does explain childhood obsessions <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2016/04/howard-phillips-super-mario-bros-2-princess-peach.html" target="_blank">with princesses</a> but also <a href="http://www.backofthecerealbox.com/2013/11/black-tiger-barbarian-butt-video-game.html" target="_blank">with barbarians</a>—and sometimes I think I’d perceive something as being gay-coded without actually understanding what all that meant. Before the “Homer the Smithers” episode aired, I can remember being in a bookstore and seeing a magazine that had Waylon Smithers on the cover. It happened to be <i>Genre</i>, which I’d later learn was an LGBT publication. I didn’t know that at the time, but the cover read something like “Is Waylon Smithers one of us?” on a bright pink background. This happened at a point in my life where I’d buy anything with a <i>Simpsons</i> character on it, but something told me that no, I shouldn’t ask to buy this particular magazine.<br /><br />I’ve no idea what chain of decisions led me to skip it—not even pick it off the shelf, if I remember correctly—but now I wish I had a copy. I’d frame it.<br /><br />EDIT: <i>Here, I found the cover in question. Looks like <a href="http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/311689381426?clk_rvr_id=1130559151292&rmvSB=true">the auction is over</a>, however.</i><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9-MBBRU3sIZLD8J1sJWYu02fcESrznu1N8xk7kKvHq0eLsSMcyL6x2B1EEpXgkwDmXW1vvDkDifZ2et-Z3jYwvO0-zyjMGKBLBzIF68CaKG4lHzGmnbbGzxxyPGgHMMFRhAaScUnLiyo/s1600/genre-magazine-gay-smithers-cover-one-of-us.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9-MBBRU3sIZLD8J1sJWYu02fcESrznu1N8xk7kKvHq0eLsSMcyL6x2B1EEpXgkwDmXW1vvDkDifZ2et-Z3jYwvO0-zyjMGKBLBzIF68CaKG4lHzGmnbbGzxxyPGgHMMFRhAaScUnLiyo/s640/genre-magazine-gay-smithers-cover-one-of-us.jpg" width="552" /></a></div>kidicarus222http://www.blogger.com/profile/18363078559398106005noreply@blogger.com0