(An imagined drama based on a painting found in a thrift shop basement.)
— She hates it.
— But I captured her perfectly.
— That’s the problem. You painted her the way she looks. And she looks like Agnes Moorehead with cramps. Her eyebrows look like a cursive letter “M.”
— Her eyebrows do look like cursive letter “M.”
— Believe me, I know. But she feels the expression you’ve captured makes her look angry and judgmental.
— I think she looks… thoughtful.
— She does look thoughtful, but she’s thinking about how much money we wasted on hiring you to do her portrait.
— Has it occurred to you that your wife simply complains a lot?
— Yes.
— And has it occurred to you that if I painted her with an unfurrowed brow, she wouldn’t look like your wife?
— It has. In fact, unfurrowed, she’d look like her younger sister, Gladys, who is radiant and beatific.
— Well, I’m sorry if you’re not happy.
— No, I said she hates it.
— I… don’t follow.
— Young man, you’re very talented, very perceptive. You spend a days with Lorina, and I do feel that in capturing her likeness in this painting, you captured the essence of who she is as a person. I’ve been married to Lorina Dunlop for thirty-seven years — thirty-seven inconsolable years spent under the scowl you’ve re-created in this painting. That’s thirty-seven years of wine-drunk cackling at my expense, the majority of that time with an increasing brood of children who share their mother’s disposition. So please don’t misunderstand my message when I tell you that my wife hates the painting.
— …
— I’d like your most elaborate frame — gold and shiny, if you can, something showy. I’m hanging in the living room, immediately opposite the front door.
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Showing posts with label art. Show all posts
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
The Conversation I Wish I’d Had at the Art Book Fair
Maybe you love the Super Bowl, and that’s fine. But for me, the Super Bowl represents a lot that I don’t like, and I feel about it the way a sixtysomething white man from rural Georgia might feel about the prospect of, oh, hosting a San Francisco-versus-Manhattan game of multienthnic dong-fondle on his front lawn — uncomfortable, superficially repulsed and secretly fascinated. That’s why most Super Bowl Sundays of my adult life have been characterized by strategic counterprogramming. I do what I like but what also feels like a solid candidate for being the antithesis of Super Bowl Sunday.
This year, I selected the L.A. Art Book Fair. But when I left the event space, I carried with me not an expensive, limited-edition art book, but something more valuable: a lesson.
If you’ve never been to an art book fair, know that it’s basically like any trade show, only instead of selling products, the vendors inside are selling the right to look down on others who didn’t have an extra $200 to spend on a bound collection of Xeroxed anuses. I was really looking forward to this event, not only because it seems like fuck-you to the Super Bowl but also because I like art and I wanted to get inspired by someone else’s creativity. I couldn’t. The confines of this book fair didn’t let me enjoy art the way I want, which is on my own. Instead, there’s just a foot-wide folding table separating you from the vendor — or, even more troublingly, the artist — and you have to squeeze to the front of a crowd for the right to flip through the wares while in the presence of the person who’s trying to sell them. For me, that’s a lot of pressure. I have plenty of opinions, but I shy away from telling people “Sorry, I think this is not only too sucky to buy but also too sucky to continue to flip through,” which is exactly what I feel like I’m saying when I close the book, place it back on the table and then smile awkwardly as I slide back into the sea of Fred Armisens and Kimmy Gibblers from whence I came.
This reluctance to actually interact with the book-peddlers has prompted what you’re now about to read.
This year, I selected the L.A. Art Book Fair. But when I left the event space, I carried with me not an expensive, limited-edition art book, but something more valuable: a lesson.
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This reluctance to actually interact with the book-peddlers has prompted what you’re now about to read.
(Standing at a table at the book fair, Drew flips through one of the books on display.)Like I said earlier, I did leave the art book fair having learned a lesson: I may not be a Super Bowl Sunday person, but I’m also not an art book fair person. I haven’t figured out what this means yet, but I’m hoping there might exist a third group of people that I’d fit into, one that exists somewhere between the (apparent) poles of “Are you ready for some football?” and “No one ever told me to stop, so now I’m calling it art.” Either that or I just don’t deserve a group, which would be bad news, I suppose, but at least I know where I stand: far away from the art book fair.
Drew: I don’t understand this.
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: It’s a series of original, full-color Sunday Peanuts strips that ran between 1987 and 1992, reproduced with enormous genitals drawn on the characters. In case you need to know, 1992 was the year my psyche broke.
Drew: (pointing at one particular page) So what’s this then?
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: That’s a dick.
Drew: It looks like a tree.
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: It’s playing off the idea of Mother Nature, but maybe the mother is hermaphrodite?
Drew: Why did you give Lucy a dick when all the other female characters have vaginas?
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: (bobbing for no reason) I was tired and dicks take less long to draw.
Drew: Okay. I see its only twelve pages long. Why are you charging so much?
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: (pressing right ear to right shoulder for no reason) I’m a nonprofit.
Drew: How are you a nonprofit?
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: (stares over Drew’s shoulder without speaking)
Drew: I’m not going to buy this.
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: On the back cover I have poetry where I used Google Translate to put news stories about third world atrocities into to their native language and then back into English so that’s poetry now. I called it “Schroeder Pissing on Woodstock. You’re Woodstock.”
Drew: I can’t tell you how much that isn’t an incentive.
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: I also have a series of kids’ mazes. They’re unsolvable. And the whole stack of them come in a sealed mylar bag that if you open it ruins the value of the book. It comes with a pen that’s out of ink.
Drew: That’s not even a book.
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: No, it’s an art book. You’re at an art book fair. I’m raising the price because I don’t like you.
Drew: Okay, well, I’m leaving.
Glasses w/ Statement Hair: Okay, $179 and not a dollar less.
Drew: (runs toward the exit)
THE END!!!
Read more:
a funny story,
art,
los angeles
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
St. Bartholomew, a.k.a. Captain Flaps
Hi. Do you work in the leather industry? Are you perhaps a butcher, a bookbinder or a purveyor of Florentine cheeses? If you said yes to any of these, then the saint to whom you should be praying is Bartholomew. And he’s not just any saint. He’s one of the twelve apostles that formed Jesus’s famed gang of bachelors. But this post isn’t so much about St. Bart’s biography as it is about the last sentence of his biography: He was skinned alive, or at least that’s what the most popular story says and that’s consequently how St. Bart is portrayed in art.
Have a look. Please note some artists make the odd but strategic decision to depict him holding his skin but also still wearing his skin. (Drawin’ guts is hard.)
I really want St. Bartholomew to also be the patron saint of footie pajamas.
Previous saintly oddness:
Have a look. Please note some artists make the odd but strategic decision to depict him holding his skin but also still wearing his skin. (Drawin’ guts is hard.)
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Previous saintly oddness:
Read more:
art,
catholicism,
die wunderkammer,
saints,
st. bartholomew,
things creepy and/or horrifying
Friday, November 23, 2012
Future Perfect, Present Tense
And after several weeks of murmuring and developments in a strange, shady world that I don’t understand, the video production team has completed the mini-documentary based on the article that I wrote about Danny and which, if you’ll remember, I implored you to vote for so many weeks back. Have a look:
Yes, Danny is sharing the spotlight with wealthy baby boomers, but hey — guess who’s most likely to watch public television?
Yes, Danny is sharing the spotlight with wealthy baby boomers, but hey — guess who’s most likely to watch public television?
Read more:
art,
palm springs,
proud of something
Monday, October 1, 2012
A Small Victory for Good Taste
Regarding this post and this post, in case you’ve been on the edge of your seat, know that my piece won. Thanks for the votes! Here’s one more painting.
He’s genuinely a talented guy, I have to point out. See more of Danny’s work at his site. And yes, I will let everyone know when the video is ready.
He’s genuinely a talented guy, I have to point out. See more of Danny’s work at his site. And yes, I will let everyone know when the video is ready.
Read more:
art,
palm springs,
proud of something
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Future Perfect, Round Two
Hi all.
You may recall that last week — or a paltry two posts ago, if you want to get snippy about my productivity — I asked you to read an article I wrote about Danny Heller, a painter here in L.A., in hopes that it would get enough sexy clicks to warrant being made into a short-form documentary. If it gets made, the world will get to learn a little more about the talented guy who makes paintings of midcentury modern architecture. They look like this:
Well, now this might actually happen, thanks to people like you and maybe thanks solely to people like you, for all I know: My piece and another article are facing off, head-to-head, and the one that gets the most votes will become the subject of the next documentary. In short, I’d like your votes, please. You can vote for my piece once a day, and the voting runs through Sunday. So please, if you have a spare second, can you click on over to the voting page and toss a vote my way? (That is, Danny’s way, since my name doesn’t appear on the voting page?)
Please click here and vote when you can.
You may recall that last week — or a paltry two posts ago, if you want to get snippy about my productivity — I asked you to read an article I wrote about Danny Heller, a painter here in L.A., in hopes that it would get enough sexy clicks to warrant being made into a short-form documentary. If it gets made, the world will get to learn a little more about the talented guy who makes paintings of midcentury modern architecture. They look like this:
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| (via danyhellerart.com) |
Please click here and vote when you can.
Read more:
art,
los angeles,
palm springs,
pleas for attention,
proud of something
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
The Epitome of California Beauty (or — A Request for Two Clicks)
Hi there.
I haven’t written in a bit, I realize. I’ve been busy with work that keeps me writing in other places, and please understand that’s a good thing, since those places pay immensely better than this one does. In fact, one of them allowed me to produce an article that I’m actually rather proud of. It’s about the guy who made this painting:
The painting depicts a house in Palm Springs, and while it’s not photorealism, exactly, it exhibits a level of detail that approaches that mind-bogglingly intricate style. The artist, Danny Heller, makes paintings of midcentury modern architecture — particularly of such buildings standing in Palm Springs — and he does so very well. And while that’s intriguing to me on its own, I find Danny’s art interesting because he represents a phenomenon among twenty- and thirty-year-old Americans with a particular aesthetic sense: He’s into a style of buildings whose heyday arrived and left long before he was born. Why is it that you have these children of the 1980s making googoo eyes at buildings our grandparents might have lived in? Or, even more strangely, buildings they might have dismissed back in the day as being angular, awkwardly futuristic and rather stark compared to what all else might have been fashionable in the day?
These are the subjects I explore in the article. You should read it. I welcome your feedback. I look forward to how the clever minds who might read my blog could further the conversation I began.
But here’s the thing: I also would just like you to click. See, the way articles work on the website hosting my piece, the most clicked-upon, most-Facebook-liked articles get put in the running to become a short-form documentary, and that documentary may even run on TV. So I am asking you, loyal readers of Back of the Cereal Box, to hit that link (step one) and click the Facebook button at the top of the article (step two), all in an effort to have this be the most heavily trafficked, most “liked” post this week.
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer.
I haven’t written in a bit, I realize. I’ve been busy with work that keeps me writing in other places, and please understand that’s a good thing, since those places pay immensely better than this one does. In fact, one of them allowed me to produce an article that I’m actually rather proud of. It’s about the guy who made this painting:
![]() |
| (via dannyhellerart.com) |
These are the subjects I explore in the article. You should read it. I welcome your feedback. I look forward to how the clever minds who might read my blog could further the conversation I began.
But here’s the thing: I also would just like you to click. See, the way articles work on the website hosting my piece, the most clicked-upon, most-Facebook-liked articles get put in the running to become a short-form documentary, and that documentary may even run on TV. So I am asking you, loyal readers of Back of the Cereal Box, to hit that link (step one) and click the Facebook button at the top of the article (step two), all in an effort to have this be the most heavily trafficked, most “liked” post this week.
Thanks in advance for any help you can offer.
Read more:
art,
die wunderkammer,
los angeles,
palm springs,
proud of something
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Grant Wood and the American Erotic
Have you ever wondered why you don’t hear much about the later works of Grant Wood?
Wood is the artist responsible for “American Gothic,” the 1930 painting recognizable even to Americans without any knowledge of art by virtue as a result of it being reproduced — that is, reprinted or parodied — so often. It’s a go-to for that blue-skied but nonetheless grim swath of wheatland America, and that is strange given how “American Gothic” was originally painted to poke fun, either of Iowans or dour depictions of Iowans. (Wood himself explained “American Gothic” differently to different audiences.) So whatever the painting means — or what it means to you, if you don’t think it intrinsically means anything — you can’t debate its fame. It is, simply put, a recognizable image. You also couldn’t say that it’s not Wood’s most famous work. Go on: Try and name another Grant Wood painting. You would, most likely, need to have studied art to do so. Commercially and critically speaking, Wood was a one-hit wonder as an artist, and the of his post-“American Gothic” career never really strayed from that original formula.
Save for one work: the provocatively titled “Sultry Night.”
(Hit the jump to keep reading, but be forewarned: There’s a nude dude at the end of this post.)
From some standpoints, it may seem ironic that Wood was held up as an embodiment of Midwestern American life, for he was neither the pitchfork-thin old man who appears in “American Gothic” nor the cornfed, potato-stuffed ranch hand you might imagine today when you picture a typical Midwestern man. According to popular opinion, Wood was gay, although completely closeted about it. Presumably, Wood had no choice in the matter of how he lived his life, and the fact that he had to hide his sexuality, even going so far as to marry a woman to quiet rumors about his personal life, should cast a harsher light on the way “American Gothic” sent up the American Midwest.
That’s not to say that his sexuality didn’t manifest itself in his work. For one, “American Gothic” doesn’t necessarily depict a man and wife. The models for the dour couple in the painting were Wood’s sister and his dentist. (Kottke just actually posted a photograph of what the two human models as wel as the architectural model in the background, looked like in real life.) And when his sister protested that the painting’s popularity made it seem as though she had married a much-older man, Wood began explaining that the “American Gothic” couple was actually a father and daughter.
And then there’s “Sultry Night.”

He created this lithograph in 1937, five years before his death from pancreatic cancer at age 50. And while he tried to explain away the image as merely depicting “the ordinary bathing habits of hired men on farms,” as noted by the January-February 2012 issue of Mental Floss, it’s pretty clearly not only that. You have to admit that it marks a stark departure from the rest of Wood’s work. It’s black and white, rather than color-saturated in the way a lot of his post-“American Gothic” works were. And then there’s that hard-to-miss wang in it. And that’s not even mentioning that the nude man’s pose evokes that of someone’s misguided daughter winning a wet T-shirt contest on the cover of a Girls Gone Wild DVD. Sure, Wood had dabbled with the nude male form (so to speak) in an early work such as the pointillism study “The Spotted Man,” but he painted that during his days studying art in Paris. He was experimenting — with pointillism, I mean not wangs, though he might have also been experimenting with wangs at that point.
My takeaway from all this is that the ubiquity of “American Gothic” overshadows the story about the man who painted it. And that’s too bad, because Grant Wood’s personal story reads as a lot more interesting than anything about “American Gothic” in particular. In fact, his personal story helps the viewer to consider “American Gothic” in terms that are perhaps a lot closer to the way Grant Wood himself might have viewed the painting: as a poke to the eye of a community that wouldn’t let him indulge his one passion aside form painting.
And that passion, of course, was wangs.
Note: A previous version of this post incorrectly identified “Sultry Night” as a painting. It is a lithograph.
“Now That’s Interesting,” previously:
Wood is the artist responsible for “American Gothic,” the 1930 painting recognizable even to Americans without any knowledge of art by virtue as a result of it being reproduced — that is, reprinted or parodied — so often. It’s a go-to for that blue-skied but nonetheless grim swath of wheatland America, and that is strange given how “American Gothic” was originally painted to poke fun, either of Iowans or dour depictions of Iowans. (Wood himself explained “American Gothic” differently to different audiences.) So whatever the painting means — or what it means to you, if you don’t think it intrinsically means anything — you can’t debate its fame. It is, simply put, a recognizable image. You also couldn’t say that it’s not Wood’s most famous work. Go on: Try and name another Grant Wood painting. You would, most likely, need to have studied art to do so. Commercially and critically speaking, Wood was a one-hit wonder as an artist, and the of his post-“American Gothic” career never really strayed from that original formula.
Save for one work: the provocatively titled “Sultry Night.”
(Hit the jump to keep reading, but be forewarned: There’s a nude dude at the end of this post.)
From some standpoints, it may seem ironic that Wood was held up as an embodiment of Midwestern American life, for he was neither the pitchfork-thin old man who appears in “American Gothic” nor the cornfed, potato-stuffed ranch hand you might imagine today when you picture a typical Midwestern man. According to popular opinion, Wood was gay, although completely closeted about it. Presumably, Wood had no choice in the matter of how he lived his life, and the fact that he had to hide his sexuality, even going so far as to marry a woman to quiet rumors about his personal life, should cast a harsher light on the way “American Gothic” sent up the American Midwest.
That’s not to say that his sexuality didn’t manifest itself in his work. For one, “American Gothic” doesn’t necessarily depict a man and wife. The models for the dour couple in the painting were Wood’s sister and his dentist. (Kottke just actually posted a photograph of what the two human models as wel as the architectural model in the background, looked like in real life.) And when his sister protested that the painting’s popularity made it seem as though she had married a much-older man, Wood began explaining that the “American Gothic” couple was actually a father and daughter.
And then there’s “Sultry Night.”

He created this lithograph in 1937, five years before his death from pancreatic cancer at age 50. And while he tried to explain away the image as merely depicting “the ordinary bathing habits of hired men on farms,” as noted by the January-February 2012 issue of Mental Floss, it’s pretty clearly not only that. You have to admit that it marks a stark departure from the rest of Wood’s work. It’s black and white, rather than color-saturated in the way a lot of his post-“American Gothic” works were. And then there’s that hard-to-miss wang in it. And that’s not even mentioning that the nude man’s pose evokes that of someone’s misguided daughter winning a wet T-shirt contest on the cover of a Girls Gone Wild DVD. Sure, Wood had dabbled with the nude male form (so to speak) in an early work such as the pointillism study “The Spotted Man,” but he painted that during his days studying art in Paris. He was experimenting — with pointillism, I mean not wangs, though he might have also been experimenting with wangs at that point.
My takeaway from all this is that the ubiquity of “American Gothic” overshadows the story about the man who painted it. And that’s too bad, because Grant Wood’s personal story reads as a lot more interesting than anything about “American Gothic” in particular. In fact, his personal story helps the viewer to consider “American Gothic” in terms that are perhaps a lot closer to the way Grant Wood himself might have viewed the painting: as a poke to the eye of a community that wouldn’t let him indulge his one passion aside form painting.
And that passion, of course, was wangs.
Note: A previous version of this post incorrectly identified “Sultry Night” as a painting. It is a lithograph.
“Now That’s Interesting,” previously:
- The aptly named Meta Carpenter and her Hollywood affair with William Faulkner
- Ambrose Burnside, the first name in sideburns
- Rock Hudson and the beefcake factory
- The crazy-weird story of Madame Butterfly, M. Butterfly, Shi Pei Pu and the Weezer album Pinkerton
- Victoria Vetri, the ill-fated Rosemary’s Baby bit player who on-screen doom foresaw her own downfall
- The strange true story behing the Pied Piper (and his connection to Freddy Krueger)
- Gertrude Sanford Legendre, who is just so freaking boss
- Gilles de Rais, one bad dude
Read more:
art,
gay,
grant wood,
i swear i'm visually literate,
now that's interesting
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Two Cinematic, Catholic Nightmares
It took place at LACMA, while I was awake. And while technically it occurred only in the space between these statues and the camera, but that doesn’t make it seem any less sinister, I say.
What with the monks and the rampant Catholicism, it could also be a Dario Argento nightmare. Here, let me make a few alterations.
There. Now you’re dreaming in all the colors of the night.
What with the monks and the rampant Catholicism, it could also be a Dario Argento nightmare. Here, let me make a few alterations.
There. Now you’re dreaming in all the colors of the night.
Read more:
art,
catholicism,
dario argento,
ingmar bergman,
LACMA,
movies,
photos,
things creepy and/or horrifying
Monday, September 5, 2011
They’ll Forget to Bury Her
You could pick out a lot that’s weird about Goya’s painting of the Charles IV, King of Spain, and his brood.

For example, you could choose to focus on how Goya inserting himself, ghostly and leering in the background. I, however, feel more weirded out by the woman turned away — you know, as if the painting were made in the same way a photo is snapped and she just happened to have turned away stupidly.
So what’s her deal? She’s Charles IV’s oldest daughter, Carlota of Spain, who eventually became queen consort of Portugal. In all honestly, it’s perhaps kinder of Goya to have painted her turned away, because this is what she looked like:

For example, you could choose to focus on how Goya inserting himself, ghostly and leering in the background. I, however, feel more weirded out by the woman turned away — you know, as if the painting were made in the same way a photo is snapped and she just happened to have turned away stupidly.
So what’s her deal? She’s Charles IV’s oldest daughter, Carlota of Spain, who eventually became queen consort of Portugal. In all honestly, it’s perhaps kinder of Goya to have painted her turned away, because this is what she looked like:
And given the fact that this an official portrait, you can assume that the artist employed the painting equivalent of a Photoshop “look less like shit” filter. From her Wikipedia page, a little more insight into poor, dumpy Carlota:
In 1788, when his eldest brother Joseph, Prince of Brazil, died, John became the first in line to his mother's throne. Soon he received the titles Prince of Brazil and 17th Duke of Braganza. Between 1788 and 1816, Charlotte was known as Princess of Brazil. John, her husband, was good-natured, indolent, corpulent and almost as ugly as was she. His religious observances bored her and they were quite incompatible. Nevertheless they produced nine children and, because they were all handsome, it was rumoured that especially the younger ones had a different father. After the birth of the ninth child they began to live separate lives, he at Mafra and she at Queluz. Here it was rumoured that she had bought a retreat where she indulged in sexual orgies.And if that isn’t a Wikipedia passage that’s clearly skewed by bias, then Queen Carlota’s totally wasn’t the product of generations of inbreeding.
Read more:
art,
goya,
i swear i'm visually literate,
now that's interesting
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
People and Their Silly Severed Heads (a Follow-Up)
So let’s be honest: There’s virtually no occasion on which someone be in the presence of a severed human head — theirs or someone else’s — and it doesn’t seem a little awkward. However, if you’re going to be a cephalophore and tote around a head like a big Christmas turnip, you may as well do it in a manner that will be immortalized in art. That’s the lesson we should take away from the Biblical story of Judith, the wily widow who gets an Assyrian general drunk, cuts off his head, and then shows people. The combination of Judith’s virtuous beauty and her raw aggression made the scene of her lopping off Holofernes a popular subject for painters.
See? Lucas Cranach the Elder’s treatment of the subject matter depicts Judith as poised, sly and powerful, whereas Holofernes wears an expression that we can only read as “What, bitch?” Just lovely.
However, Spencer pointed out to me after me that certain artist’s rendition of Judith and Holofernes made for some interesting projections. Take Caravaggio’s painting.

Holofernes looks shocked, Judith looks like she’s concentrating more on the prevision of the act that the person she’s doing it to and finally Judith’s maid looks as if she’s goading Judith on. That all being said, it’s enlightening to know that, per Wikipedia, Caravggio based Holofernes on himself, Judith on his former mistress and the maid on the mistress’s mother. Which is cute.
Conversely, there’s Artemesia Gentileschi’s treatment of the same scene: the moment of death.
Gentileschi also mapped personalities from her life onto the characters. As Wikipedia points out, Judith looks a lot like Gentileschi herself, while Holofernes looks loopks like Agostino Tassi, a painter in his own right who’s today best known for having raped Gentileschi.
With background like this, I could actually not got tired of looking at biblical paintings by dead Italians.
See? Lucas Cranach the Elder’s treatment of the subject matter depicts Judith as poised, sly and powerful, whereas Holofernes wears an expression that we can only read as “What, bitch?” Just lovely.
Many chose to depict her carrying away the man’s head in a basket but some of whom instead painted the actual assassination. These ones are the most interesting.
However, Spencer pointed out to me after me that certain artist’s rendition of Judith and Holofernes made for some interesting projections. Take Caravaggio’s painting.

Holofernes looks shocked, Judith looks like she’s concentrating more on the prevision of the act that the person she’s doing it to and finally Judith’s maid looks as if she’s goading Judith on. That all being said, it’s enlightening to know that, per Wikipedia, Caravggio based Holofernes on himself, Judith on his former mistress and the maid on the mistress’s mother. Which is cute.
Conversely, there’s Artemesia Gentileschi’s treatment of the same scene: the moment of death.
Gentileschi also mapped personalities from her life onto the characters. As Wikipedia points out, Judith looks a lot like Gentileschi herself, while Holofernes looks loopks like Agostino Tassi, a painter in his own right who’s today best known for having raped Gentileschi.
With background like this, I could actually not got tired of looking at biblical paintings by dead Italians.
Read more:
art,
i swear i'm visually literate,
judith,
things biblical
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Tuesday Is the Kindest Day of the Week
As appropriate as anything else I could put up today.
From Une semaine de bonté (“A Week of Kindness”), Max Ernst’s surreal collage masterpiece.
From Une semaine de bonté (“A Week of Kindness”), Max Ernst’s surreal collage masterpiece.
Read more:
art,
die wunderkammer
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Be Unlike the Squirrel, Girl
The three most inappropriate memorials posted on the site of Sugar Bush Squirrel, rising internet star and allegedly the “most-photographed squirrel” in the world:
Michael Jackson
Benazir Bhutto
Natalee Holloway (with accompanying graphic of Sugar Bush Squirrel continuing the search for her a human jawbone found in Aruba proved not to be hers)
Their baffling inappropriateness aside, I must say that that a lot of care went into these little dioramas. How do you get a squirrel to wear a headdress?
Finally, one that is not disrespectful or distasteful, exactly, but which makes less and less sense the more you look at it: the Sarah Palin squirrel.
Do check out the website for more of pop culture more of pop culture’s biggest recent moments rendered as only the medium of posed squirrel photography. It’s sort of like a more up-to-date “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” only less annoying and more telling of the person who composed it.
Michael Jackson
Benazir Bhutto
Natalee Holloway (with accompanying graphic of Sugar Bush Squirrel continuing the search for her a human jawbone found in Aruba proved not to be hers)
Their baffling inappropriateness aside, I must say that that a lot of care went into these little dioramas. How do you get a squirrel to wear a headdress?
Finally, one that is not disrespectful or distasteful, exactly, but which makes less and less sense the more you look at it: the Sarah Palin squirrel.
Read more:
art,
death,
squirrel,
weird animals,
weird stuff online
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Three Message With Varying Levels of Clarity
I had thought that these might be in the order of ascending levels of clarity, but then it occurred to me that the opposite might be true. Consider the matter for yourself.
Credits: A dressing room, a poster in Miami, the inside of my mind. Bonus trivia: The “confetti” is actually torn-up bits of spraypaint can lids.
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Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Queen Sirloin, I Am Done With You
Sometimes, a purse made of meat is just a purse made of meat. Apparently.
I watched and enjoyed the Bravo reality competition Work of Art. It, like its fellow Magical Elves productions, managed to teach me a bit about the subject at hand. For example, among the show’s contestants was a performance artist named Nao Bustamante. Not understanding performance art, I usually gave Bustamante’s work a pass. However, the judges felt differently, and despite Bustamante’s seniority over the rest of the show’s cast and her apparent status as the show’s resident troublemaker, she got the boot the in fourth episode. One judge, Jeanne Greenberg Rohatyn, seemed particularly irked by Bustamante’s decision to respond to the Andres Serrano-inspired “shocking art” challenge with a performance as some kind of incontinent, Matthew Barney-esque bag lady. Rohatyn called it “a scatological mess,” I remember. But the problems seemed to lie less in the performance itself so much as Bustamante’s explanation of it. In short, she couldn’t say what she was trying to do. And while I’m sure many artists and art buffs might quibble with the notion that an artist must have a specific intent with their work, Rohatyn’s criticism stuck with me. It turns out that I too may be someone who also thinks that good art can’t come from someone who has no plan, no reason for doing a given thing, no justification for making a viewer observe their creation.
I thought of Nao Bustamante and her bag of shit today when reading blogs about MTV’s Video Music Awards and seeing that Lady Gaga wore another meat dress. I’m not breaking any ground by claiming that Lady Gaga’s schtick incorporates a lot of performance art and that it’s sometimes more performance art than anything else, but I usually let her antics slide because she’s doing something unique — unpleasant, weird and challenging to mainstream values — and somehow still winning the hearts worldwide. That, and “Paparazzi” was a near-perfect pop song with a kickass music video. But the meat dress — the item of Slim Jim couture — I have issues with. The dress, which seems to be an updated version of what she sported recently on the cover of Vogue Hommes Japan seemed like an attention-getter and nothing more. It didn’t seem to have any connection with her work so far or anything else she brought to the show — like, say, the space princess-looking Alexander McQueen dress she wore on the red carpet or the retinue of discharged gay soldiers that accompanied her — and I felt like she must have worn it to stir up controversy more than anything else. (Hasn’t she thought about her vegetarian fans? Is she criticizing the meat industry? The fashion industry? Her sexy image, playing off the connection between lustful carnality and the more mundane kind you see in butcher shops? At least she has to be doing something with the matching meat handbag and the term spam purse, right?)
I might feel differently if Gaga had given any reason for why she wore such an objectionably eye-catching dress, but she didn’t. On The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday, she offered only this Sarah Palin-worthy string of nonsense:
Saying something is not disrespectful doesn’t make it not disrespectful. Saying an action has many interpretations doesn’t justify it. And claiming that “if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones” strikes me as especially bizarre, given the gradual widening of the American waistline. (Do heavy people enjoy greater liberty?) Gaga’s explanation of the meat dress stunt forces any thoughtful person to conclude either that she had no idea what she was doing or she wore it just for attention and couldn’t even half-ass a phony explanation — not even to Ellen, who is not exactly the most hard-hitting of interviewers.
I don’t feel that an artist needs to spell out everything they were trying to do, because mystery enhances the viewer’s experience of a given art piece. To take the point back to Work of Art, I’m not sure Andres Serrano has ever explained his piece “Piss Christ”, and its ambiguity led to an interesting back-and-forth on what it could mean on Work of Art, to say nothing about the uproar it caused back when it debuted. But if the artist does chose to open his or her mouth, the words coming out had better make sense. If they don’t, smart people will think less of the blabbering artist than they do of the one who keeps quiet.
As for Lady Gaga, I feel the meat dress puts her in an awkward position, professionally speaking, because she now has to not only one-up herself but also do so without sounding like more of an attention-seeker. I think Lady Gaga is a talented singer-songwriter who has eye for spectacle and who has the potential to affect positive social change, even if I mostly agree with Camille Paglia that her tendency to cloak herself with the cause of gay rights and misfit liberation is tiresome and sometimes even manipulative. But this latest stunt has me rethinking Gaga-ness, for what once seemed fresh now stinks like raw meat that spoiled beneath bright stagelights.
I watched and enjoyed the Bravo reality competition Work of Art. It, like its fellow Magical Elves productions, managed to teach me a bit about the subject at hand. For example, among the show’s contestants was a performance artist named Nao Bustamante. Not understanding performance art, I usually gave Bustamante’s work a pass. However, the judges felt differently, and despite Bustamante’s seniority over the rest of the show’s cast and her apparent status as the show’s resident troublemaker, she got the boot the in fourth episode. One judge, Jeanne Greenberg Rohatyn, seemed particularly irked by Bustamante’s decision to respond to the Andres Serrano-inspired “shocking art” challenge with a performance as some kind of incontinent, Matthew Barney-esque bag lady. Rohatyn called it “a scatological mess,” I remember. But the problems seemed to lie less in the performance itself so much as Bustamante’s explanation of it. In short, she couldn’t say what she was trying to do. And while I’m sure many artists and art buffs might quibble with the notion that an artist must have a specific intent with their work, Rohatyn’s criticism stuck with me. It turns out that I too may be someone who also thinks that good art can’t come from someone who has no plan, no reason for doing a given thing, no justification for making a viewer observe their creation.
I thought of Nao Bustamante and her bag of shit today when reading blogs about MTV’s Video Music Awards and seeing that Lady Gaga wore another meat dress. I’m not breaking any ground by claiming that Lady Gaga’s schtick incorporates a lot of performance art and that it’s sometimes more performance art than anything else, but I usually let her antics slide because she’s doing something unique — unpleasant, weird and challenging to mainstream values — and somehow still winning the hearts worldwide. That, and “Paparazzi” was a near-perfect pop song with a kickass music video. But the meat dress — the item of Slim Jim couture — I have issues with. The dress, which seems to be an updated version of what she sported recently on the cover of Vogue Hommes Japan seemed like an attention-getter and nothing more. It didn’t seem to have any connection with her work so far or anything else she brought to the show — like, say, the space princess-looking Alexander McQueen dress she wore on the red carpet or the retinue of discharged gay soldiers that accompanied her — and I felt like she must have worn it to stir up controversy more than anything else. (Hasn’t she thought about her vegetarian fans? Is she criticizing the meat industry? The fashion industry? Her sexy image, playing off the connection between lustful carnality and the more mundane kind you see in butcher shops? At least she has to be doing something with the matching meat handbag and the term spam purse, right?)
(via huffpo)
I might feel differently if Gaga had given any reason for why she wore such an objectionably eye-catching dress, but she didn’t. On The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday, she offered only this Sarah Palin-worthy string of nonsense:
Well, it is certainly no disrespect to anyone that is vegan or vegetarian. As you know, I am the most judgment-free human being on the earth… However, it has many interpretations but for me this evening. If we don’t stand up for what we believe in and if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones. And, I am not a piece of meat.That doesn’t mean anything. Not a word of it.
Saying something is not disrespectful doesn’t make it not disrespectful. Saying an action has many interpretations doesn’t justify it. And claiming that “if we don’t fight for our rights, pretty soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our own bones” strikes me as especially bizarre, given the gradual widening of the American waistline. (Do heavy people enjoy greater liberty?) Gaga’s explanation of the meat dress stunt forces any thoughtful person to conclude either that she had no idea what she was doing or she wore it just for attention and couldn’t even half-ass a phony explanation — not even to Ellen, who is not exactly the most hard-hitting of interviewers.
I don’t feel that an artist needs to spell out everything they were trying to do, because mystery enhances the viewer’s experience of a given art piece. To take the point back to Work of Art, I’m not sure Andres Serrano has ever explained his piece “Piss Christ”, and its ambiguity led to an interesting back-and-forth on what it could mean on Work of Art, to say nothing about the uproar it caused back when it debuted. But if the artist does chose to open his or her mouth, the words coming out had better make sense. If they don’t, smart people will think less of the blabbering artist than they do of the one who keeps quiet.
As for Lady Gaga, I feel the meat dress puts her in an awkward position, professionally speaking, because she now has to not only one-up herself but also do so without sounding like more of an attention-seeker. I think Lady Gaga is a talented singer-songwriter who has eye for spectacle and who has the potential to affect positive social change, even if I mostly agree with Camille Paglia that her tendency to cloak herself with the cause of gay rights and misfit liberation is tiresome and sometimes even manipulative. But this latest stunt has me rethinking Gaga-ness, for what once seemed fresh now stinks like raw meat that spoiled beneath bright stagelights.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Girl in the Mirror in the Calendar on the Wall
My computer has a calendar and my phone has a calendar, but my wall also has a calendar because I find it convenient to glance up and quickly check the date or when the next Friday the thirteenth is coming. (It’s this week, by the way.) Also, I constantly worry that my machines will develop late-onset Y2K and make me think that 1900 has returned and I haven’t been born yet. So handy though it might be, my physical, hanging-on-the-wall calendar has recently stopped making me so happy. Every month gives me a new work of Japanese art, and August has arrived with Kitagawa Utamaro’s “Girl With a Mirror.” It looks like this:
And every time I see it, I think of this:
Creepy Anna Morgan from The Ring, brushing her hair in front of a similar oval mirror in and then turning to the camera and glaring. I could think of better associations to make whenever I look up from my computer screen. Because The Ring was a remake of a Japanese movie that also featured a woman grooming herself in an oval mirror, I wonder if “Girl With a Mirror” might have inspired the composition of the original scene and, indirectly, the remake too. Utamaro is remembered today as one of the more important Japanese artists, so the creative people behind Ringu would have likely known his work. Yes, I’m probably overthinking this, but you try staring at an image every time you struggle to find the right phrasing. Besides, this would not be the first time I’ve noticed Ring-like happenings in real life, because my roommate once did an inadvertently accurate impression of Amber Tamblyn’s corpse. (Note that I refrained from using the word mirrored to complete that last thought. I’ve also stopped myself from referring to anything coming full circle. You’re welcome.)
Bonus Ring trivia: Shannon Cochran, the actress who played creepy Anna Morgan, also played Pam’s mom on The Office exactly once, before the role was recast last season. I’d like to think she lost the job by insisting that she play the role as creepy.
Things are like other things, previously:
And every time I see it, I think of this:
(image via dementedstuff.com)
Creepy Anna Morgan from The Ring, brushing her hair in front of a similar oval mirror in and then turning to the camera and glaring. I could think of better associations to make whenever I look up from my computer screen. Because The Ring was a remake of a Japanese movie that also featured a woman grooming herself in an oval mirror, I wonder if “Girl With a Mirror” might have inspired the composition of the original scene and, indirectly, the remake too. Utamaro is remembered today as one of the more important Japanese artists, so the creative people behind Ringu would have likely known his work. Yes, I’m probably overthinking this, but you try staring at an image every time you struggle to find the right phrasing. Besides, this would not be the first time I’ve noticed Ring-like happenings in real life, because my roommate once did an inadvertently accurate impression of Amber Tamblyn’s corpse. (Note that I refrained from using the word mirrored to complete that last thought. I’ve also stopped myself from referring to anything coming full circle. You’re welcome.)
Bonus Ring trivia: Shannon Cochran, the actress who played creepy Anna Morgan, also played Pam’s mom on The Office exactly once, before the role was recast last season. I’d like to think she lost the job by insisting that she play the role as creepy.
Things are like other things, previously:
- The Coral sound like The Supremes
- Scissor Sisters sound like Mega Man
- “867-5309” sounds like a B-52s song
- Baby Doll from Batman is like a Japanese parasitic dwarf
- Rebecca Demornay is like Rebecca De Mornay
- Dhalsim from Street Fighter is like a guy from Master of the Flying Guillotine
- Girl Talk is like Girl Talk
- A Coldplay song is like music from Legend of Zelda
- Lost is like the short-lived 1969 series The New People
- Ashlee Simpson lip-synching on Saturday Night Live is like Stephanie Tanner
Monday, June 28, 2010
Super Mario Abstract
It began with LACMA, it began with Kandinsky, but — oh, yes, that’s right, I realize now — it really began with Emil Nolde. I saw these amazing postcards at LACMA. Nolde had painted anthropomorphic versions of famous European mountains, but the postcards are rare enough that digitized versions simply don’t exist online, at least where I was looking. Then, somehow, I ended up on this page and found a certain painting — allegedly something called “At Rest,” allegedly by Mr. Wassily Kandinsky.
Points in favor of “not”: First off, I tend to see Mario where no Mario exists. More to the point, Kandinsky (or whoever did the above painting) was doing an abstract landscape, letting basic shapes stand in for the features that would normally decorate a given stretch of land. Similarly, the Nintendo people had to create similar terrain in making Mario games — especially Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World — mostly as a result of the technical limitations of the systems for which they were designing games. It could very well be that a staggered collection of quadrangles is just that, whether in a early twentieth-century painting or in a late twentieth-century Nintendo game.
Still, the resemblance jumps out to someone like me, who likes art but has spent too much time with a video game controller in his hands and will therefore be likely to fuse the two interests into one. I was curious about what other abstract Kandinsky landscapes might look like and looked around online. What I turned up supports at least the simplest conclusion: that there is, in fact, a visual similarity between these paintings and Mario games.
As the paintings get weirder and more surreal, they look particularly like the Wii game Super Paper Mario, a work of art in its own right that forces two-dimensional figures into a three-dimensional world (both in terms of graphics and the game’s plot) and which folds surreal art into a platform game universe. I know most people who read this blog haven’t played Super Paper Mario, but it’s a sight to behold, particularly Flipside, a geometric city that serves as the game’s “portal,” through which the various stages are accessed. (I tried to find appropriate art from the game to post here but found no usable screenshots online.) Looking at these paintings, I can see echoes of them in the game — Flipside especially.
In poking around at art websites, I also stumbled upon an Emil Nolde — not the one that I was originally looking for, but one that looked weirdly like one of the bad guys from Super Paper Mario. It’s a coincidence, I’m sure, but a noteworthy one, given my thought process leading up to it.

I conclude nothing from all this, but I will at least point out that one of the few goals I’d like to accomplish with this blog is to elevate video games as a medium. A lot of people look down of them, even today. They may not see the place of video games in the greater cultural context. A connection like this, however, at least hints that such a connection might be possible — that there could possibly be a connection between the art hung in museums and the games played in our living rooms.
Mario, previously:
Instantly, briefly, this painting of mysterious origin became my whole world: Was it just me, or did it look eerily like a stage from a Super Mario Bros. game? Am I the only one who would see this similarity? Could the Super Mario aesthetic, in fact, be an intentional homage to Kandinsky? Consider the geometric qualities of the “hills” and “trees.” Consider the odd assemblage of polygons on either side, some overlapping others to suggest that they extend into the background. Consider the “structures” floating against the background, perhaps suggesting motion but perhaps also meant to be solid objects inexplicably suspended in the air. There’s definitely something in this painting that the old Mario games echoed, intentionally or not.
Points in favor of “not”: First off, I tend to see Mario where no Mario exists. More to the point, Kandinsky (or whoever did the above painting) was doing an abstract landscape, letting basic shapes stand in for the features that would normally decorate a given stretch of land. Similarly, the Nintendo people had to create similar terrain in making Mario games — especially Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Mario World — mostly as a result of the technical limitations of the systems for which they were designing games. It could very well be that a staggered collection of quadrangles is just that, whether in a early twentieth-century painting or in a late twentieth-century Nintendo game.
Still, the resemblance jumps out to someone like me, who likes art but has spent too much time with a video game controller in his hands and will therefore be likely to fuse the two interests into one. I was curious about what other abstract Kandinsky landscapes might look like and looked around online. What I turned up supports at least the simplest conclusion: that there is, in fact, a visual similarity between these paintings and Mario games.
As the paintings get weirder and more surreal, they look particularly like the Wii game Super Paper Mario, a work of art in its own right that forces two-dimensional figures into a three-dimensional world (both in terms of graphics and the game’s plot) and which folds surreal art into a platform game universe. I know most people who read this blog haven’t played Super Paper Mario, but it’s a sight to behold, particularly Flipside, a geometric city that serves as the game’s “portal,” through which the various stages are accessed. (I tried to find appropriate art from the game to post here but found no usable screenshots online.) Looking at these paintings, I can see echoes of them in the game — Flipside especially.
In poking around at art websites, I also stumbled upon an Emil Nolde — not the one that I was originally looking for, but one that looked weirdly like one of the bad guys from Super Paper Mario. It’s a coincidence, I’m sure, but a noteworthy one, given my thought process leading up to it.

I conclude nothing from all this, but I will at least point out that one of the few goals I’d like to accomplish with this blog is to elevate video games as a medium. A lot of people look down of them, even today. They may not see the place of video games in the greater cultural context. A connection like this, however, at least hints that such a connection might be possible — that there could possibly be a connection between the art hung in museums and the games played in our living rooms.
Mario, previously:
Read more:
art,
i swear i'm visually literate,
kandinsky,
LACMA,
nintendo,
super mario bros.,
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Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A Single-Sided Kandinsky
This is a Wassily Kandinsky print that I saw at LACMA. I’m not sure of the title, the date the original was made or the date this particular print was made, but I’m kind of obsessed with it.

Something about the those reds and blues — the way they seem to mimic mid-century commercial art and packaging makes me all the more interested in what’s going on here.
That is all.

Something about the those reds and blues — the way they seem to mimic mid-century commercial art and packaging makes me all the more interested in what’s going on here.
That is all.
Read more:
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die wunderkammer,
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Sunday, May 2, 2010
Do You Need Some Tweezers to Put That Thing Away?
Another from the LACMA trip. Apologies to the easily offended, but my sense of humor never really evolved beyond the sixth-grade level, especially in contexts where I’m expected to act intelligent, polite or in some other way grown-up. But can I please be forgiven for finding Guido Reni’s Bacchus and Ariadne suggestive and therefore hilarious?
Seriously, look at the position and pose of Ariadne’s right hand. Then look at her facial expression. That’s not coyness. That’s not curiosity. That’s boredom bordering on revulsion. And then look at Bacchus. Look at it. Just look. Could this really be interpreted by any viewer in any time period differently? Or, at least, would viewers in 1620 have been able to interpret it in the way I am? Could Reni have not anticipated how his depiction of this interaction could be open to interpretation?
Seriously, look at the position and pose of Ariadne’s right hand. Then look at her facial expression. That’s not coyness. That’s not curiosity. That’s boredom bordering on revulsion. And then look at Bacchus. Look at it. Just look. Could this really be interpreted by any viewer in any time period differently? Or, at least, would viewers in 1620 have been able to interpret it in the way I am? Could Reni have not anticipated how his depiction of this interaction could be open to interpretation?
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Saturday, May 1, 2010
Ain’t It a Nef?
Things you learn at LACMA: Art is neat. The museum grows every time you avert your eyes from it. And there’s a Paul Klee painting of a pear that, when viewed from the right angle, seems to contain a hidden image of the Virgin Mary in style of the Gelflings from The Dark Crystal. Also, if you are me, you learn the word of the week.
Certainly decorative. Clearly boat-shaped. Also, fragile enough that I should never adorn the tables of diners prone to emphatic hand gestures. This word does not have a particularly convoluted etymology. Most sources simply cite that it comes from the French nef, “ship,” which in turn comes from the Latin navis, the Greek naus and all the way back to the Proto Indo-European root nāu-. One blog identifies nef as specifically Middle French, with the modern French word for “ship” being navire. And Wikipedia claims that nef was also an alternative name for the carrack — a four-masted ship of fifteenth century that, confusingly, was also known as the nau.
I’m always happy to learn that a word a word exists for something so specific, and even more so when the word sounds so strange. I mean, given the above example of a nef, doesn’t the word sound inappropriately caveman-like? As far as being rare and specific, however, nef reminds me of a word of the week that I used sometime back, toby, a drinking mug in the shape of an ugly guy with a tricorn hat. I wonder why those who specialized in the dinnerware arts have been so successful in coining words.
The Wordnik page for nef — which, by the way, points out that nefs were sometimes used to house dining utensils, especially those belonging to the lord of the house — pointed me in the direction of another word: cadenas, a holder for utensils and spices that wasn’t necessarily shaped like a ship and wasn’t necessarily for the head of the table. However, I can’t imagine the nef I saw at LACMA being used to hold anything, since it seems like the slightest touch could reduce that beautiful glass structure into beautiful glass shards. At least by the museum’s standards, nef can be used to name an item that serves an aesthetic purpose only.
Nef isn’t a word that anyone really needs to know, unless you’re the guy who writes museum placards , I guess. But it’s worth pointing out that a similar and possibly more familiar word exists. Nave — “the main part of the interior of a church,” usually where the congregation sits — also comes from the Latin navis, probably because the church feature resembled a ship.
Previous strange and wonderful words:
nef (pronounced just like you’d think) — noun: an ornamental vessel used for the decoration of the table, having a form resembling a ship of the Middle Ages.I cam across nef at LACMA on the placard attached to this item:
Certainly decorative. Clearly boat-shaped. Also, fragile enough that I should never adorn the tables of diners prone to emphatic hand gestures. This word does not have a particularly convoluted etymology. Most sources simply cite that it comes from the French nef, “ship,” which in turn comes from the Latin navis, the Greek naus and all the way back to the Proto Indo-European root nāu-. One blog identifies nef as specifically Middle French, with the modern French word for “ship” being navire. And Wikipedia claims that nef was also an alternative name for the carrack — a four-masted ship of fifteenth century that, confusingly, was also known as the nau.
I’m always happy to learn that a word a word exists for something so specific, and even more so when the word sounds so strange. I mean, given the above example of a nef, doesn’t the word sound inappropriately caveman-like? As far as being rare and specific, however, nef reminds me of a word of the week that I used sometime back, toby, a drinking mug in the shape of an ugly guy with a tricorn hat. I wonder why those who specialized in the dinnerware arts have been so successful in coining words.
The Wordnik page for nef — which, by the way, points out that nefs were sometimes used to house dining utensils, especially those belonging to the lord of the house — pointed me in the direction of another word: cadenas, a holder for utensils and spices that wasn’t necessarily shaped like a ship and wasn’t necessarily for the head of the table. However, I can’t imagine the nef I saw at LACMA being used to hold anything, since it seems like the slightest touch could reduce that beautiful glass structure into beautiful glass shards. At least by the museum’s standards, nef can be used to name an item that serves an aesthetic purpose only.
Nef isn’t a word that anyone really needs to know, unless you’re the guy who writes museum placards , I guess. But it’s worth pointing out that a similar and possibly more familiar word exists. Nave — “the main part of the interior of a church,” usually where the congregation sits — also comes from the Latin navis, probably because the church feature resembled a ship.
Previous strange and wonderful words:
- adulterine, ageusia, ambeer, anosmia
- barrack, bissextile, breastsummer
- catholicon, cecaelia, couvade, cranberry morpheme, cummingtonite
- deasil, decussate, dingle
- eidolon, epeolatry, epopt, espalier, etui
- fabiform, fissilingual, Föhnkrankheit, froward
- gallinipper, grandgore, grue
- hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, honorificabilitudinitatibus
- itaiitai, ignivomous
- jabroni, jamais vu, jehu, jumentous
- kaffir, kakopygian, knipperdollin
- leman, lemniscate, limnovore, linsey-woolsey, longicorn
- malacia, milt, mongo
- nihilartikel, nobiliary particle, nosism
- ooglification, orchidectomy, ordured, orf
- pareidolia, pavonted, petrichor, pismire, pong, puggle, purse
- quacksalver, quagga, qualtagh, quidnunc
- ronion, roynish, rubirosa
- salmagundi, scrutator, seneschal, shebang, sinople, stevedore, suovetaurilia
- tergiversate, thon, tiffin, tittery-whoppet, toby, tyro
- ucalegon, ultramontane
- veneficial, verdigris, vespertilionine, vinegeroon
- williwaw, witzelsucht, wooper looper
- xenodocheionology, xyster
- yazoo, ypsiliform, yoink
- zanjero, zenzizenzizenzic, zinnober, zugzwang
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