Saturday, September 1, 2007

Belated Christmas Present From Sanam

I realized this never made it to the Back of the Cereal Box. Near the end of last year, Sanam posted on her Archivolt blog something titled "FOR DREW." The posts consists on just one image, which I've posted below.

Of course, it's not one of my beloved anteaters. It's an aardvark, or "dirt pig." Confusing the two is like calling a Kiwifruit an Aussiefruit, but I'll forgive Sanam. I'm assuming this aardvark is a pup, though if he's actually an albino midget aardvark who's been denuded through some terrible turn of events, that's the saddest thing ever. Why do so much things that I associate with Sanam make me feel happy and sad at the same time?

Here's a quick lesson that should help everybody tell the difference between the lovable anteater and the lowly aardvark, so no one makes the same mistake Sanam did.

Here's an anteater, being adorable and politely extending its paw upon meeting a new person in accordance with the ingrained anteater sense of manners.

And here's an aardvark, slyly trotting away after having mauled a toddler. He's eyeing the cameraman only because he doesn't want to leave any witnesses and he's therefore memorizing the camerman's face. Note the obvious "criminal" posture with which this slovenly creature carries itself.

Here are two anteaters re-enacting a scene of the Holy Mother and Jesus Baby. Anteaters are devout Christians with a flair for the visual arts.

And here's an aardvark. Thought it might look like it's in a zoo, but it's actually in prison. This aardvark stole money from war widows. The spots on its forehead are actually gang demarcations.

Here's a saintly baby anteater, resting up after having cured several blind children. Performing such miracles drains even the considerable will of the noble anteater. To certain indigenous South American peoples, the anteater is known as the "jungle doctor" in recognition of its well-documented medical miracles.

And here's an aardvark. The picture doesn't properly convey it, but this aardvark is shouting a horrible racial slur that I won't taint my blog by printing here.

Now let's see if we can keep these two animals straight from now on.


  1. Thank you for clarifying that. I do get that confusion from people.

    You did make a mistake however. There are more aardvark photos than anteaters photos.

    Saint Pua

  2. For the love of God, which one?

  3. No, you didn't miss label any. The mistake was that you put more aardvark pictures than anteater pictures. After all the saintly anteaters do deserve more press time ;)

  4. thank you for this drew.
    i laughed so hard I had an asthma attack.

  5. Oh my god. Can you actually have giant anteaters as pets? I finally saw one at the local zoo and thought it was the weirdest and neatest animal I ever saw and have been fantasizing about having one as a pet and taking it for walks down my street ever since. Not that I probably ever will, but I still think it would be neat. And the possibility of actually being at least legally able to own one could only get me in trouble w\ the landlord. (No pets.)

  6. Somehow, I don't think you can in the U.S. I think TamanduaGirl lives outside the U.S., but I'm not sure.

  7. My anteaters are tamanduas the normal sized anteaters ;)

    Giants are CITES two meaning they are threatened but not endangered. It still adds some red tape to getting them however. Tamandua t, my kind are not listed at this time. Still far from easy to get.

    Legalities of ownership vary by state, city, and county you live in. They all can have laws in the way of owning one, need permits or just out right ban them. I am in the USA and legal where I am. I do have my USDA license(federal) for exhibition for the occasional education show. But it's not required for just owning one.

    And it's true you most likely wouldn't really want one even though the idea is neat. Few go through with it once learning all about them.

  8. i have a pet anteater called agador and he likes gloria estefan