Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Better Ways to Interpret Road Signs

Because let’s face it — driving is boring and could benefit from additional excitement. Make driving “fun” by putting your own spin on the rules of the road!

Swerve to the side to avoid the giant car-sized bullet racing toward you.

Road is pointless, repeating loop. You may be in a Lost Highway. Or a Mario Kart track.

Open passenger window to receive free box lunch from roadside man.

“Shit! Get me a pen and paper, quick! (Apologies for the joke in the style of your father.)

Your loved ones would appreciate a will.

“Look! I drew an arrow with two pointy parts! Isn’t that crazy?”

Slow down to leer at roadside crew, evaluating them for sexiness.

Actually, there’s no way to make this funnier than it already is.

Ditto the previous comment.

Ditto ditto.

Similarly, there is nothing funny about lane safety. Stay in your goddamn lane, crazy. However, with a small adjustment...

Much better. Why? You know why. Because Lana’s a ho.

I actually can’t make fun of this sign because I don’t know what it means. Seriously? The tracks aren’t in service? Shouldn’t I not care because trains won’t run on out-of-service tracks, because they’re curled up into roller coaster-like formations? And yet there is a sign for this condition. So I have to assume that the trains do, in fact, run on out-of-service tracks. In which case, I should be very worried, less so for myself than for the train passengers. Where the fuck am I?

Most self-negating, Magrittesque traffic sign ever.

Except, well... you know.

(All images from here.)

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