Megan Mullally Goes to Lumberton

If you’ve watched Blue Velvet, you know that the main triangular sexual tension exists among Kyle MacLachlan, Isabella Rossellini and Laura Dern — the hero, the virgin and the whore, if you want to get archetypal about matters. (The secondary sexual tension happens among MacLachlan, Rosellini and Dennis Hopper, but that’s a different post.) The new Blu-ray release of Blue Velvet includes never-before-seen deleted scenes, including one that depicts another woman in Jeffrey Beaumont’s life: his college girlfriend, Louise. All traces of Louise were excised from the final cut of the film. And for good reason, since the idea of third, non-archetypal love interest steals a bit from the contrast between Rossellini’s Dorothy and Dern’s Sandy. But Louise is noteworthy for one reason: She was played by Megan Mullally. Her career subsequently veered toward comedy, and that’s for the best, I say, because she’s a gift to that genre. However, her turn in Blue Velvet, which is only a comedy if you’re a terribly fucked-up person, is worth your attention.

Gaze upon Mullally by way of David Lynch, poofy hair rendering her unrecognizable but her voice nonetheless reminding you of Karen Walker:

And it goes without saying that had Lynch chosen Mullally to play Dorothy Valens, it would have been hilarious.