Sit Down on the Chair / Think About Your Dance Affairs

I make no excuses for being a complicated man whose likes are separated only by a small margin from his dislikes. Today’s example: an obscure ’80s song that sounds not all that different from the one I made fun of just last week.

Pros: Unlike the last song, it’s not about King Kong. Cons: Unlike the last song, it’s not about King Kong.

The band is Scotch. The song is 1984’s “Disco Band.” The genre is italo disco. And the country of origin is Italy. (Yes, that combo did make it somewhat more difficult to Google.) I’ve written about italo disco before, and all those same virtues and failings apply here: “Disco Band” has the trappings of the more familiar ’80s songs I love, but with the added novelties of being something I hadn’t heard a thousand times before as well as being sung in irreparably broken English. (Sample lyrics: “Baby / Baby / You’re my really disco band / I like you.”) Also, it must be said: For a song that opens out with a sample of someone coughing, it builds into something that’s surprisingly not terrible.

I’m not saying this is a good song, exactly. It’s kitsch. But it’s immensely listenable kitsch, unlike the King Kong song, which is something you just have to listen to out of the sheer astonishment that a group of people got together and all agreed that yes, in fact, this is a good, worthwhile thing to which humans will enjoy listening.

Here is that song again, for posterity, so the world may know:

So yeah, my musical choices are basically indefensible.

Italo disco, previously:

• Dorrine Hollier, “Crazy Night”
• Daydream, “Crazy”
• Baby’s Gang, “Happy Song”
• Clio, “Eyes”
• Roni Griffith, “Desire” (honorable mention)