Surely, there must be multitudes of words you could use to insult people’s appearance without them realizing, right?
Yes. Oh yes.
- aciform, “needled-shaped” — I stepped back lest my torso suffer another attack by his accusing, aciform fingers.
- campaniform, “bell-shaped” — “Had I only been born in the antebellum South,” Lois cried out, “my campaniform torso could work to my advantage for once!”
- cancriform, “crab-shaped” — The more literate of the yoga instructors would mock her cancriform stance between classes.
- corniform, “horn-shaped” — What the children mocked as being corniform tufts of hair turned out to be actual horns growing from Martin’s skull… but they’d realize this far too late.
- cucumiform, “cucumber-shaped” — But you really had to search if you wanted to find the spot where Abigail was surprisingly, secretly cucumiform.
- cymbiform, “boat-shaped” — Again, she reminded her husband that she’d prefer he not reference her giant boat feet as such but instead to speak of them as being cymbiform, as it sounded more melodious.
- digitiform, “finger-shaped” — “But wait!” he protested, “Not only is it digitiform, but I can also grip a pencil with it, and that’s worth something!”
- doliform, “barrel-shaped” — Ironically, his doliform body proved unable to float.
- ensiform, “sword-shaped” — Plump, candy-stuck fingers but a surprisingly ensiform tongue.
- galliform, “chicken-shaped” — One hoped that her feathered hat marked her decision to embrace her galliform features.
- flabelliform, “fan-shaped” — He had no hands, merely pink flabelliform growths with which he pawed at world as it passed by.
- gelatiniform, “gelatin-shaped” — Not only was she secretly gelatiniform inside her girdle, she was also full of orange slices and marshmallows.
- ginglyform, “hinge-shaped” — Nothing about him could be said to be round or smooth; in fact, his every joint seemed to be as awkwardly ginglyform as his elbows.
- hamiform, “hook-shaped” — One day, Edward was certain he’d meet a woman malformed enough to accept his hamiform gift.
- hippocrepiform, “horseshoe-shaped” — As the salesclerk arrived with yet another set of pumps, he began to wonder if a hippcrepiform pairing might better suit her foot shape.
- juliform, “millipede-shaped” — With hair winding around her neck in shining but sinisterly juliform curls
- lachrymiform, “tear-shaped” — Melinda’s teardrop pendant only underscored her overall lachrymiform body.
- medusiform, “jellyfish-shaped” — Vibrant, flowing fabric stretched over her undeniably wide frame, ultimately giving her a medusaform appearance when a floriform one was intended.
- mummiform, “mummy-shaped” — Yet another pair of TOMS Shoes gave some unwitting do-gooder tragically mummiform feet.
- oviform, “egg-shaped” — As a result of his oviform curse, my younger brother was unable to stop himself from rolling down the hill and into traffic.
- scrotiform, “scrotum-shaped” — As the professor continued his lecture, I was hypnotized by the by the pendulous, scrotiform growth on his chin.
- semipenniform, “halfway feather-shaped” — Despite her best efforts, the would-be Farrah could style her hair to look only semipenniform.
- serpentiform, “snake-shaped” — He was, tragically, serpentiform in all the wrong places but unpleasingly squat in the one area that mattered.
- squamiform, “scale-shaped” — Beneath his collar, we could spy squamiform dry patches that nicely matched his generally iguana-like appearance.
- unguiform, “claw-shaped” — Nadine’s repeated trips to nail salon resulted in increasingly unguiform constructions that she secretly enjoyed.
- ursiform, “bear-shaped” — The ursiform stripper had to work the hardest of all yet had little to show for her efforts.
- vermiform, “worm-shaped” — A hawk-like woman and her conspicuously vermiform husband
- vulviform, “vulva-shaped” — To the delight of all sitting behind her, the result of her painstakingly pinned, tucked and rolled hairdo was an obscenely vulviform structure.
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