A Less Boxy Vintage

To me, it’s like that one picture of Mr. Rogers drunkenly backhanding a group of schoolchildren or that one old Superman comic where he exposes himself while making racist comments: Franzia, the drink that puts the revolted derision in everyone’s pronunciation of the term box wine, only in a bottle:

To think — a glass bottle! It’s almost like a real drink! Granted, it’s a tiny, airplane-sized bottle, but it’s more importantly not a little box.

When you think about it, the term box wine isn’t fair. A box is involved, sure, but the wine is most specifically contained in a temperature-sealed mylar sack. And wouldn’t sack wine more quickly communicate the message that this product is gross and shouldn’t be consumed by people that no better?