The Cat Breed Whose Name Must Be Whispered

Did you know that there exists a breed of cat with Corgi-like proportions? Literally, it looks that the great maker got distracted during these cats’ construction and simply attached the feet straight to the torso, It’s the Munchkin — yes, that’s the actual name — and I have to imagine that it’s just not capable of the high-jumping acrobatics that its non-mutant-legged cousins.

Gaze, if you dare, upon this unfortunate creature.

So unfortunate! It cannot jump to the highest, comfiest seats and dandelions tickle its nose as it strolls through the meadow!

But here’s the thing: The shortest-legged, squidgiest of the Munchkin cats has a name… and that name is Rug Hugger. I would have trouble saying this name out loud, because to me it sounds like some horrible offensively name for one minority group or another. I’m not sure which.

Rug Hugger.

Rug Hugger!

You lousy, misbegotten Rug Hugger.

Maybe I should just yell this in crowds and see who gets mad?

Other disturbing cats:

• The Janus cat
• The treadmill cat
• The suspiciously productive neighbor cat
• The dyspeptic statue cat
• The wild cats who wore pyjamas
• The dead, bouncing cat
• Mr. Pants and Alexandre