The Bell Pepper With Something Extra

I’ll admit that cutting into a bell pepper reveals a whole alien world inside, that cluster of seeds clinging to the center like some kind of alien egg sack. But in preparing to open up this dinner ingredient, I certainly didn’t expect to find a small bell pepper penis.

I choose to call this a penis and not, for example, a tiny bell pepper parasitic twin because in examining the freakiness further, I found two smaller, rounder entities nestled in the corner. Obviously, these were bell pepper testicles.

In the end, I chopped up the whole thing and deposited it, pseudogenitals and all, into pan. Meal cooked. Meal consumed. Does this mean I’m pregnant with bell peppers now? Am I the host to a future race of super bell peppers?

Plants that want to be people, previously:

• The Ghost Tree of Malaysia
• The Watermelon Who Wanted to Become a Man
  
• The Face Lemons of Goleta
• The Vegetal What-Is-It of Pasado Road
• Orchids Look Like Ladyparts, Mushrooms Look Like Manparts
  
• The Bamboo Is Taking Over