Friday, February 29, 2008

Bazooka Beak

It’s… a whole lot of pink weirdness.

I’ve mentioned on this blog before my fascination with Birdo, a character in the Super Mario games that I’ve known since the days when my wee hands could hardly work a video game controller. Fortunately, Birdo was the first boss of the first level of Super Mario Bros. 2, which meant that even a novice could gaze upon her egg-spitting proboscis in wonder. My tendency to prefer the “underdog girl” made me interested in this weirdo dinosaur, who, it turns out, wasn’t initially even designed for the Mario games, was initially conceived of as a cross-dressing male, was eventually retconned into full-on female gender, and now speaks in latter-day games with unintelligible quacks. (In Birdo’s defense, you try making words with a mouth permanently warped into an “o.”) I even once compared Birdo to my friend Sanam. I can’t remember the criteria for the comparison, exactly, but I think Birdo beat Sanam, for some reason. (It makes sense, in retrospect.)

Today, I realized that I’m not the only one with a thing for Birdo and that some people’s obsession with this… thing… runs a lot closer to crazy than it does with me. Case in point: A post this morning on Kotaku titled “Scary Fetish Birdo Makes Me Cry.”

Congratulations, fetish weirdos. You discovered the only thing creepier than being sexually attracted to Birdo: making a means to act upon that attraction.

[ Source: 4chan via Ectoplasmosis via GayGamer via Kotaku ]


  1. I wonder if Birdo's beak (or creepfest Birdo girl's facemask) comes with removable attachments...?

    Am I the only one that feels like that "beak" is really the semen receptacle that lonely men keep in their sock drawers?

  2. I think it works more like this:

  3. touche.

    or tooshay. or tuche. you catch my drift.

  4. That is some rank shit right there.