You cannot argue that it’s been too long since I’ve posted anything about a slow loris.
Showing posts with label the noble slow loris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the noble slow loris. Show all posts
Monday, March 7, 2011
I Should Like to Have My Me-Sized Umbrella Back, Please
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Quick and the Loris
First it was anteaters. Then it was cassowaries. Then I think it was axolotls. Now, for the time being, the coolest animal I can think of has to be the slow loris. Yes, I realize that slow loris sounds like a name some unfortunate girl would have earned in elementary school pre-Great Depression. Perhaps it was, independent of this amazing animal. I don’t care. The slow loris, unhampered by its speed, demands your attention.
See what I mean? It’s like a lemur made love to a monkey and all the best parts combined into a in a single bastard hybrid species. Native to southeast Asia, the slow loris’s Indonesian name, malu malu, translates into English as “the shy one.” I think this is telling, as I can’t count how many kids coasted through my lower school classes by making an innate slowness with purported shyness.
A major negative: Their eyes are prized by practitioners of “traditional medicine” — or as the careless call them, witch doctors.
An even more major negative, in my book: The poor slow lorises must also cope with the fact that they have a sister species known as the slender loris. And that’s just unfair.
Run, slow loris! Come to me! Bury your uncannily expressive eyes in my shoulder and I shall feed you sugar cane and sweet, sweet raisins! I shall name you Doris or possibly Boris but most likely Doris! Your eyes shall remain in your head until I say otherwise.
Weird animals, previously:
See what I mean? It’s like a lemur made love to a monkey and all the best parts combined into a in a single bastard hybrid species. Native to southeast Asia, the slow loris’s Indonesian name, malu malu, translates into English as “the shy one.” I think this is telling, as I can’t count how many kids coasted through my lower school classes by making an innate slowness with purported shyness.
A major negative: Their eyes are prized by practitioners of “traditional medicine” — or as the careless call them, witch doctors.
An even more major negative, in my book: The poor slow lorises must also cope with the fact that they have a sister species known as the slender loris. And that’s just unfair.
Run, slow loris! Come to me! Bury your uncannily expressive eyes in my shoulder and I shall feed you sugar cane and sweet, sweet raisins! I shall name you Doris or possibly Boris but most likely Doris! Your eyes shall remain in your head until I say otherwise.
Weird animals, previously:
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