My Twenty Favorite Steel Magnolias Characters (in Order)

Because some mushmouthed, garblespeak version of the South, that’s why.

1. Ouiser (Shirley MacLaine)
2. Truvy (Dolly Parton)
3. M’Lynn (Sally Field)
4. Clairee (Olympia Dukakis)
5. Anelle (Daryl Hannah)
6. Shelby (Julia Roberts)
7. Eglinore (Anjelica Huston)
8. Footsie (Glenn Close)
9. Sioux-Sioux (Cher)
10. Purrlee (Virginia Madsen)
11. Coloradonna (Anabella Sciorra)
12. Kathay (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio)
13. Beff (Kathy Bates)
14. Sassperanza (Annabeth Gish)
15. Dinkles (Mare Winningham)
16. Snoopu (Conchata Farrell)
17. Zavivanah (Laura San Giacomo)
18. Crematora (Amy Yasbeck)
19. Kablammo (Marsha Mason)
20. Snurrrrrr (Teri Garr)

And if you want to create your own Steel Magnolias, it’s easy: Have a stroke, and then try to pronounce one word, get confused, end up pronouncing a different word, have your nurse write that down. Congratulations! You have just dreamed up a Steel Magnolias name for Kim Greist’s character!