Tuesday, February 21, 2017

All the Colors of the Night

“No, I don’t know why.”

That’s the response that would probably come first if someone asked me what motivated me to make this new video project. But if I thought about it a little, I might come up with something along the lines of this: “Not that I need a reason, you sniveling jerk, but I feel like a nearly lifelong love of horror movies and weird ’80s music is reason enough.”

That gets pretty much to the point of my second video project, which I’m calling “All the Colors of the Night” and which you can watch in full below.

Heads up: This project contains boobs and butts and some blood, and it’s therefore NSFW, unless your work is cool about typical horror movie fare. If you’re squeamish about violence, know that there’s nothing excessively graphic, but these are horror movies I’m working with, for the most part, so there’s a certain base level of bodily violence that should be expected.

My previous video project came out of nowhere, really, because I’d been pretty much only words up until that point, and while I’m happy I did it, I now feel like it’s mostly a messy and unstructured thing. I felt like I wanted to give it another shot and make something a bit more orderly. You can judge for yourself whether I achieved this. Regardless, I liked wrapping up a bunch of horror movies (and thereabouts) in colorful dressing and setting them to ’80s Euro pop (and thereabouts), and I hope you do too.

A few notes:
  • I tried to make it so it looks good either on a computer monitor or a TV screen. 
  • Please watch the credits.
  • Please watch for patterns.
  • I do acknowledge that the vast majority of characters appearing in this project are white people. I will blame that on the genre as it existed back in the day. I did my best to offer Geretta Geretta prominent placement.
  • I also acknowledge that a disproportionate number of victims of violence in this are female. I will again blame this on the genre as it existed back in the day.
  • I honestly love all of the movies and songs I included in this project, and in case anyone wants to point out that I am essentially using them all without permission, I’d like to clarify that I don’t intend to make a dime off this project and I consider it a remix—just one that blends video and music in a way that doesn’t exist online elsewhere and that does not intend to take the place of the original film or songs.
  • I started this project the day before Halloween and finished it on Valentine’s Day, meaning that the world seems a lot different now than it did beforehand. I will hold back on making any grand metaphors, but I did this because I wanted to try take movies that people might think of as scary or weird or dark and focus on the parts that make them beautiful. You can find nice moments even when things are scary, I guess. 
  • The title comes from a 1972 Edwige Fenech film All the Colors of the Dark, which was released in the U.S. as They’re Coming To Get You and Day of the Maniac. I like my version of the title better.
  • The three through-lines between the first project and the second are, apparently, Dario Argento’s Inferno and Dorine Hollier’s “Tonight! (Crazy Night!)” and the Bollywood version of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Regarding that last one, I made a handy ten-minute supercut of it that you can watch here.
  • No, that really is Mia Farrow’s little sister.
  • No, that isn’t actually Shelley Winters.
  • I did actually make a little trailer for this project, and none of it appears in the final project. Watch, if your want, below.

And here is the list of source materials, in the order they appear, in case you’re trying to place a given song or movie.
And here are all the segments individually, in case you want to see the bits in their pristine form.


  1. Anonymous2:26 PM

    Where is the missing segment tho?

  2. Crediti sono divertenti, ma mi sento come i veri attori dovrebbero essere accreditati. Ecco quello che ho potuto trovare.

    Jessica Harper
    Teresa Kugelstein // Natasha Hovey
    Merk Patton // Mark Patton
    Mizuko Tsukino // Kimiko Ikegami
    Fragola Tartufo // Ariana Gorini
    Simpa Prakar // Archana Puran Singh
    Teeza Farrow // Tisa Farrow
    Nincy Filmore // Catherine Mary Stewart
    Phanna Dondolando // Irene Miracle
    Dagmar Stromper // Macha Meril
    Geretta Geretta
    Brisk Rockham // Robert Rusler
    Resaresa Karutojamu // Kumiko Oba
    Gloridia Culatello // Lea Krugher
    Fizzi de Pepsi // Paola Cozzo
    Pleather Langenkamp // Heather Langenkamp
    Lasagna Fuerstein // Auretta Gay
    Agnetha Flanders // Kelli Maroney
    Shannon Smelt // Jasmine Maimone
    Aubergine Dupont // Eva Axen
    Betty Jo Scarmliglione // Nicoletta Elmi
    Pam Smedley // Kim Myers
    Fancy Takahatsu // Yoko Minamida
    Fidessa Barbaricccia // Daria Nicolodi
    Ladonna // Minaaz
    Cyril Tunkard // Ian McCulloch
    Hillaria Mountainface // Sharon Farrell
    Donna Jo Scarmiglione // Nicoletta Elmi
    Ermes Borgnino // John Saxon
    Dootsie Fernandez // Fabiola Toledo
    Denny Schwein // Marshall Bell
    Struzzi Prezzemolo // Eva Bartok
    Oraora Konkon // Miki Jinbo
    Heedra Truahee // Kunika
    Gotcha Crabmire // Ania Peroni
    Rad Neinhelt // Urbano Berberini
    Dusty Cantalupo // Veronica Lario
    Chasandra Chains // Bettina Ciampolini
    Zbedna Jones // Eleonora Giorgi
    Missy Stickers // Eliana Miglio
    Ulysses Camamillo // Bobby Rhodes
    Credenza Barbariccia // Daria Nicolodi
    Utsumi Yowza // Eriko Tanaka
    Veraminda Groslk // Giuliana Calandra
    Vittorio Boni-Neinhalt // Karl Zinny
    Blanche de Beezus // Mirella D'Angelo
    Tuorlo D'uovo // Dinesh Kaushik
    Dudu Clapcakes // Claude Dantes
    Hannah Ohanabatake // Masayo Miyako
    Pigliagli L'aglio // Lino Salemme
    Kontiki Bianchi // Mirella Banti
    Maplensa Barbariccia // Daria Nicolodi
    Divertimenta Collins // Mary Arden
    Luigi Sfregare // Guido Baldi
    Hidalgo Pastelito // Glauco Mauri
    Bliffy // ??????
    Shelley Winters // Susanna Javicoli

    Mario Moblino รจ uno scherzo di Nintendo?

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