Tuesday, July 8, 2014


FYI, for interest parties, this is exactly how I want the opening credits to look in the TV movie about my life, grainy picture and shaky V-hold and all.

The best part is when you feel like you’ve been watching them for long enough and the alphabetical list of guest stars is only at Mimi Maynard, and then the names start to not even seem like the could be real people. “Tiberius Thunderdogs?” “Joe-Ellen Schmurk?” “Turtlesby McPudding?” “Bimberly Howzitt?” “Krysh Krumple-Schott?” “People McNeeple”?

Also: “Is there not a single person of color in this entire condo complex?”

Also also: “And Hamburger Penis as Alexis.”

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