Saturday, April 5, 2008

Lady Pep

Aly set out this morning to find a sugar-free Red Bull. She returned with the can pictured below.

go girl energy drink

I could go into the lameness of marketing energy drinks to specific demographics — women, people trying to lose weight, video game players, homosexuals, lesbian gamers on diets — but today I'm just going to note that the can describes Go Girl as "beautiful energy" that contains "SUPER CITRIMAX," which in turn is described as a "mild herbal appetite suppressant." Women and beverage consumers should be insulted. Nothing that even approaches being herbal or mild should ever have the word "super" in its name, nor the suffix "max" nor be spelled in all capitals because "SUPER CITRIMAX" sounds like a Vitamin C colon bomb.

A better name: "Feminenergy."

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