Wednesday, January 20, 2016

“Whitney Houston Goes to Africa to Fight Demons”

I know this is just the dumbest thing in the world, but sometimes you make a few stray clicks too far and end up on a whackadoo Illuminati conspiracy website, and it’s kind of like the web version of one of those poorly Xeroxed flyers homeless people try to give you. While you’re floating in all this word soup, you realize that a lot of the Hollywood conspiracies that the author is putting forth sound like pitches for movies you’d want to see.

An edited list:

And if someone hasn’t used the text Killing Babies, Eating Hearts, Bonking Donkeys as an album title at least, that’s a shame, because there’s some sick internal poetry to it.


  1. I just lost it at "killing babies, eating hearts, bonking donkeys." Like I had to try to type this so many times bc i'm laughing to hard picturing a football team saying THAT instead of this:

  2. I have two coworkers who are full-on conspiracy nutters, Illuminati-caused-9/11 and all. They have the most fascinating conversations.

  3. "Almost all actors have herpes" -- probably truer than the rest of the list. The rate is surprisingly high already in the general population, and I don't doubt that it's higher still among the acting crowd.