Monday, July 27, 2015

Re: Anyone Who Announces on Facebook That They’re Culling Their Friend List

A: Oh my god, did you hear about Tracy?

B: No, what happened?

A: She posted on Facebook that she was going through her friend list and getting rid of people that weren’t real friends and that you should say something if you still wanted to be friends with her.

B: Oh. My. God.

A: I know.

B: I had no idea her Facebook had gotten so bad. Poor Tracy.

A: And this after that thing on Instagram last month too.

B: What happened on Instagram?

A: She posted a photo of her waving goodbye and saying that she had to unfollow a bunch of people because there was just too much in her feed and she couldn’t keep up.

B: Damn, I feel so bad for Tracy. First those felony fraud charges and now this.

A: She’s just having a rough year.

B: But you have to delete people sometimes. My mom posted something a few weeks ago and I was like, “Mom, everyone already saw that last year. You need to stop.” And she was all, “Well, my friends liked it.” And I had to say “Mom, your friends are idiots.”

A: Your mom’s friends are super dumb.

B: So I deleted her, and so now I had to ask my brother to just tag me if Mom posts anything about her diagnosis and it seems important.

A: That’s really smart.

B: Yeah, I also bought this app that automatically unfollows people on Twitter if they haven’t starred or replied to your tweets in the past week, and then it sends a guy to their house to rough them up.

A: Oh my god, I’ve heard of Smackr!

B: So are you going to send Tracy a Facebook message asking to stay on?

A: No, I actually hate her.

B: Yeah, she’s the worst. Let’s never talk about her again.

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