With “It” Being Heavy-Lidded Eyes Without Visible Pupils

Yesterday Madonna debuted the music video for her new single, “Bitch I’m Madonna.” The clip has a host of famous types — A- through C-listers — showing up for split-second cameos in which they lip synch the song’s title, which would be very confusing if this were the first Madoonna video you’d ever seen and you weren’t sure who she was. People have feelings about it. I’m not sure I do aside from the fact that the video features a chorus of sock puppets, and I think that undercuts the arguments of anyone claiming that Madonna’s trying too hard to look cool and edgy, because sock puppets — because sock puppets.

I had to write about it for work, which means I had to watch it, which means that I had to find a Tidal login, because Madonna only officially released the clip on Tidal because she’s trying to make the digital musical equivalent of fetch happen. However, I will say this much for the video: It has made me realize that with the right freeze-frame, with the right make-up and the right hair, Rita Ora can bear a remarkable resemblance to Janice from The Muppets

This is all I have for now. In closing, because sock puppets — because sock puppets forever.

Who Wore It Better? — previously:

• Julia Roberts / Poison from Final Fight
• Gwen Stefani / Ghirahim
• Bob Dylan / Jean-Ralphio
• Amy Sedaris / Lil from Squibillies
• Bjork / a gerenuk
• Jane Lynch / an angry ostrich
• Lena Dunham / Little Critter
• Kim Kardashian / a sex robot from a vintage Japanese comic book
• Fiona Apple / some other chick wearing an octopus hat
• Kris Jenner / Eclipso
• Michael Cera / Edith Crawley
• Lana Del Rey / Camilla Rhodes
• Adam Scott / Seth Gabel
• Tabatha Coffey / an angry, white cat
• Grace Jones / a cassowary
• Coco / the Venus of Willendorf