Monday, August 20, 2012

Language Professors HATE Him!


Okay, I can get behind the logic of dermatologists hating that one woman who discovered that anti-aging secret — it was blueberries and badger smegma, by the way — and even why dentists hate that other woman who discovered that teeth-whitening secret — it was sandpaper, by the way — but this? Disregarding for a moment the fact that linguists would probably love the person who discovered the secret to learning a language in ten days, language professors don’t generally teach language: They study it. The only person who would hate the man who invents a new, quicker method of learning language would be, like, the immigrant lady who cornered the market on teaching her native language to businessmen at the late-night learning annex. And even then, there’s still palm-reading and keys made while you wait.

Also: “Pimsleur Approach” sounds like an affliction one would acquire from drinking Pimm’s Cups to the point of slurring speech, which, just maybe, is the secret to new language mastery.

Also also: Most verbal-minded folk would have noticed that the second “H” is the wrong font size and should actually be on the same scale as the “L” or the “P.”

Also also also: Is that really the highest-resolution photo you could find? Really?

Also also also also: I will click on the pop-up when the headline reads Professional Break Dancers HATE Him!, Fitted Sheet-Folders HATE Him! or Parallel Parking Experts HATE Him! Nothing else can fool me.

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