Friday, January 6, 2006

Bread or Medical Emergency?

Food tastes better when it's smiling at you. It doesn't sound probable, I know, but pleasing packaging makes the contents so much more appealing. Case in point: Sun Milk. It's regular skim milk fortified with sunflower oil, which makes it taste heartier than regular skin milk. Whether that's true is ultimately irrelevant to me, as is the notion that this substance is the unholy semenic union of bovine and vegetable. The carton is just so goddamn pleasing.

(Sun Milk front)

(Sun Milk back)

(A close-up of the Sun Milk logo. What a happy fucking flower!)

(It's like the Brady Bunch grew a field of sunflowers!)

("I love Sun Milk as much as I love the sun itself!" — a contented cow)

(Malicious but still adorable trans fat!)

The nearest I can approximate the cuteness of the Sun Milk carton is that of the strange Japanese rice crackers that Subleaser Sarah left here. The English text identifies them as "Kameda Super Fresh Kaki no Tane Rice Crackers." They're super fresh crunchy, for sure, but my throat burns after I eat them.

(The packaging is good, but the Japanese text worries me.)

(What does it mean? Of what do these goblins speak? And why must a swim flipper and a toothbrushinterferee with my snacking?)

(Why have Tetris pieces escapes and come to deliver news via food?)

An attempted translation: "We are Hasashi and Okino, animate iron bars brought to life to enjoy Kameda Super Fresh Kaki no Tane Rice Crackers. Hasashi is angry because the Witch of Twelve Judgments has cursed him with the Black Tassel of doubt. But by eating Kameda Super Fresh Kaki no Tane Rice Crackers we hope to overcome this considerable handicap and become domestic partners. Praise Kameda Super Fresh Kaki no Tane Rice Crackers!"

1 comment:

  1. Hi...I'm commenting on your entry about the Kaki no Tane because my friend Drew read it and he really wanted me to clarify what it says there. Hahaha. Here goes.

    Well, first of all Kaki no Tane is literally translated to mean "seed of persimmon." It's usually a tasty spicy snack that you eat while you drink beer. They're totally yummy. :)

    On the back of the packaging is always these stories about the little things in life that are sort of sad. For example, the two purple bars are supposed to be the two keys that are all the way on the corner of a piano. They're sad because they're always there but nobody plays them. :( They're little stories that try to make people notice these little things in life. Haha.