Dear sir,
It has come to my attention that you apparently keep to two important items on opposite sides of your apartment. I imagine that you need these two items — frequently, in rapid succession — in order to survive, and this and only this explains your constant, plodding treks from one side of your apartment to the other. May I please suggest that you perhaps move these two life-granting items to the same side of your apartment? I would like to enjoy my Hulu programs without straining to hear them over the arrhythmic thuds that serve as the soundtrack to your life.
Please,
Drew
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