The Point Being Neither Female Nor Canine

Two examples of images that I have encountered today, that were both sent to me by Spencer, that both contain a woman and two dogs, and that both contain one minor detail stole my focus away from the primary subjects.

First, the early twentieth-century actress Ruth Chatterton, in a publicity still from some unspecified date. Though you think I’d be enamored of the dogs, I couldn’t help being distracted by the pile of rolled-up carpets in the background. If this truly was an image released in an effort to generate positive publicity, could no one have removed the carpets? There are only four or five, tops. It’s not as if it were a pile of four or five hundred carpets that simply could not be moved in a reasonable amount of time. After looking at the carpets, I read her expression differently. What was once indiscernible now reads clearly, as “Hey, is somebody going to move those old carpets before you take my — ”

Second, socialite-of-today Tinsley Mortimer, eating pasta on her bed, for some reason, and also feeding it to her dogs, for some reason. (Note: This is not the first post on this blog to associate Tinsley Mortimer with dogs.) What distracts me here is her monogram, which appears on her pillows. It’s a stylized “T” and “M” that would be appealing if it didn’t look like a headless stickman with visible genitalia. Despite that unpleasantness, I still read her expression in the same way I did before I noticed the pillows. She says, “…”

Dogs and Gossip

While I’ve only seen two episodes of Gossip Girl and while I have only a superficial awareness of Tinsley Mortimer, I appreciate a good rip against a public figure when I hear one. Take, for example, Gawker’s treatment of the socialite, handbag designer and general target of ridicule. They drop the news that she will be making a guest appearance on Gossip Girl — which, by the way, features the talent of Kristen Bell and which for that reason alone has value. Given the character of the show as I understand it, Mortimer is a perfect fit. Then they promise an exclusive clip of the show featuring her.

This is what they show:

This delights me for several reasons. First: everything about it. I don’t know why anyone would have thought to make such a movie, but I’m eternally grateful that they did. Secondly, I can’t help but imagine Mortimer — who doubtlessly is aware of the blogs that mock her as the characters on Gossip Gir are of the online piddlings that drive the plot of the show — idly checking up on what the blogosphere has to say about her today. She’d see this, but not being the kind of person who gets jokes, and just sit in a state of total bewilderment. “Why do they say I’m dogs? Who are these dogs? Why do they say I’m dogs?!”

Amazing.

The clip, by the way, comes from something called The Dogway Melody, which we should doubtlessly all watch in its entirety at some point in our lives.