In the end, I learned a valuable lesson about advertising.
- A world where all pre-teens wear shorts with long-sleeved, long-tailed shirts on top.
- A Far-Off Place style adventure where three white children are stranded in a hostile environment with only a skateboard, a suitcase and winning smiles.
- Something that actually might have made me smile, now that I think about it.
- An adventure in which only Jenny Lewis thought to bring a change of clothes.
- Video game characters magically coming to life, perhaps as a result of a desert heat-induced hallucination.
- An inexplicably off-model Mario that’s approximately the size of a fighter jet.
- And he can fly.
- A fictional pop cultural landscape where the anonymous green cobra enjoys the same level of fame as with Mario.
- Fred Savage using the Power Glove to face-punch bad guys he meets in the desert.
- No appearance by Christian Slater whatsoever, because who would cast him in a movie of this era and then not put him on the poster?
- A movie that takes place somewhere more interesting than Reno.
- A young Jenny Lewis incurring an exit wound.
- Maybe a story about a blind paraplegic, based on that pose.
- More top billing roles for Fred Savage.
- An actual wizard.
