Monsters Walking Across the Floor

"Hi. Is this Leslie Feist? Hi, Leslie. I'm a producer at Sesame Street and I was wondering if you'd like to make a guest appearance on an upcoming episode... Hmm? What's that? Well, you know your song '1234'? We like it too, but we were thinking that it might be even better if it was re-written to be about counting to four. Oh, I don't know. Chickens and stuff?"

And the rest was history. I suppose it's better that Sesame Street didn't use the version of the song where Feist counts 1-2-3-4-5-6-9-10, as that would have doubtlessly confused the children. The children!

Of course, Feist is not the first female singer with indie cred to sing alongside muppets. Just recently, I also saw this on a blog I read: Debbie Harry singing a duet of "The Rainbow Connection" with Kermit the Frog.

And since we're on the subject, the last two weeks have seen a handful of Muppet-central take-offs on classical music. Like the author of this blog, I have no idea whether these are new or old. I've certainly never seen them before.

Sanity Melts Like Lemon Drops

I like whippets. And I like any animal made to exhibit human qualities. "Like," however, doesn't get anywhere near my thoughts on the below video of a whippet eerily singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

I can only hope the the person who made this did so specifically to disturb the people tricked into watching it and not because he or she actually thought the above video would actually induce happiness. Now it's your problem, I suppose. Let's cross our fingers and hope that the dreams that we dare to dream do not, in fact, come true.

Lucilles

My office sponsored a booze cruise on Friday night. I have chosen not to elaborate on the matter, aside from the fact that part of the three-hour tour of the Santa Barbara harbor area included a good look at a boat that has been overtaken by seals. Basically, it was the pinniped version of a hobo camp. I'm surprised that these animals could have mustered the energy to conquer anything, much less some family's boat. Based on what I saw during the cruise, I feel like the seals the laziest animals I've seen in recent memory. And I've seen sloths. Also, I'm surprised they could jump onto the boat deck, given that their bodies look like sleek sacks of fat. Do they get squatters rights?

Also, there was one seagull. Also, Paul was there, presumably taking better photos than what you see above.

Fart Date

Apparently my old roommate Tristan lets the Washington Post write about dates he goes on with legislative assistants who are one year older than he is.

Proper Terminology for Scabby-Mouthed Sheep

Word of the week, being presented a few hours later than normal. This week's pick has limited use, but is fun to say and, quite possibly, the kind of word that can prove handy in a match of Scrabble.

orf (pronounced like you'd think) — noun: a sheep-born disease that causes red, oozing sores around the mouth.

This word might seem out-of-place in a book like Depraved and Insulting English, which is where I found it, but this word's potential use in mockery is alluded to in book's example sentence: "Jamie wasn't going to let a little thing like a case of orf keep him from attending the shepherd's ball." Yes, in fact, orf can be transmitted to humans, as the Wikipedia article on the subject notes. But while human-ovine love could certainly be one means of inter-species infection, less salacious interactions between the wooly ones and their non-wooly caretakers can also result in the disease spreading. Still funny, though. The next time you see someone with a scab, suggest that it could be orf.

The biological aspects of orf weren't what led me to pick it, however. Simply put, it was short, unfamiliar and looked like it would be fun to say. (On that third count: It totally is, especially repeatedly and in rapidly.) Most dictionaries don't feature this word, but Wikipedia suggests that orf means "rough" in Old English. I would have supposed that the our word rough also came from the Old English orf, with the letters "O" and "R" being transposed for the same reasons that the Middle English brid became our word "bird." But that doesn't seem to be the case here, as the American Heritage Dictionary ruh. Shows what I know.

Previously celebrated words-o'-the-week:

• nobiliary particle
  
• mongo
  
• lemniscate
  
• longicorn
  
• kakopygian
  
• jehu
• itaiitai
• grandgore
• fissilingual

And now that I look at the list, I notice that three of the words picked so far refer to illnesses of some sort. The pattern is accidental, I swear, but perhaps I should just rename this feature "Disease Words of the Week." Notable candidates for such a series: the adorable-sounding pica, the tropical-sounding framboesia, and the downright strange-sounding maple syrup urine disease.

The Lady in Green

Because I’m determined to make a habit of documenting name goings-on with Nintendo characters, that’s why.

This fall, Nintendo will release a new Wario game: Wario Land: Shake It!, which features the morbidly obese anti-hero venturing off to find treasure and, to a lesser extent, rescue a damsel. Given the title and the fact that the game is controlled with the Wiimote, it should surprise no one that the gameplay involves super fiesta maraca-like waggling action. Initially, the game’s new damsel character was presented to the world, she bore her Japanese name — or, at least, an English approximation of her Japanese name, Melfull. Which means nothing in English, though it could be some strange way of saying “full of honey” in the same way that the name Melissa refers to honey. But it probably doesn’t. Even worse, the name can be also be translated as Merfle, which sounds downright un-queenly.

here she is — little miss problematically named

More recently, Nintendo began advertising the game to English-speaking audiences and, in doing so, has presented a new Anglo-friendly name for this woman: Merelda, which probably isn’t a translation of either Melfull or Merfle but at least sounds enough like it that it shouldn’t be confusing for the people with reason to discuss proper names in the game’s English and Japanese versions. (Me, basically.) After a moment, I realized that the name was either a shortened variation on the name Esmeralda — which means “emerald” and which is appropriate, given the character’s profound greenness — or just a variation on the world emerald itself. This keeps her in line with the Mario universe tradition of naming female characters after things that are small, pretty, or sweet. (Case in point: Peach, Daisy, Rosetta (Rosalina’s Japanese name), Syrup, Tiaramisu (which counts for two and surely must be the name of a drag queen somewhere), Shokora (whose name is Japanese for “chocolate”), Eclair, and a whole lot of others.) Her profile here also notes one more of her names: Königin Midori, which the Germans shall call her and which oddly uses a Japanese word — midori, meaning green and surely familiar to most of us as the melon liqueur.

My take: Call Melfull, Merelda, Midori or her whatever you like, but I can’t help but to think of the minor Tiny Toons character and Marvin the Martian offspring Marcia the Martian every time I see her.


Am I the only one who sees it? Mentally switch all the pink and purple to green.

No Need to Watch It Now

Apparently at a loss for anything better to do, I was watching reruns of Tales From the Darkside on the Scifi Channel this weekend. Wanting to see exactly how much time I'd be wasting, I pushed the button that gives the episode synopsis. For whatever reason, the synopsis when read in conjunction with the episode title struck me as accidentally hilarious. I took a photo.

Direct to the point of being spoilery — but not exactly unexpected, given the nature of the show. Also, randomly, IMDb says Jodie Foster directed this particular episode.