I Like You Because I Have To

For your consideration, an example of why the “like” feature that now plagues most online interactions is not always appropriate:


How do you tactfully attest to the quality of a news article about an orphanage burning down? How do you announce to the rest of the internet that a blog entry on a spate of murder-suicides is factually correct and well-reasoned?

My guess at a solution: Replace “like” with “like but I’m not morbid” … along with a “like but I am morbid” option for the weirdos who actually are happy that after weeks of searching rescuers have still not found any survivors.

Looking Through a Glass Onion

Hey there, Google, take note — Intelius People Search is doing a much better job of digging up information on me. That is, of course, is if potential employers, stalkers and long-lost relatives are specifically wanting to learn about what I was like five years ago as per my MySpace page. Maybe they’re trying to write a book about what I was like immediately after I graduated college?

I honestly think anyone would be better off finding me in a phone book and just calling to find anything out about me.

Behind Every Sexy Woman Is a Camouflaged Armadillo

I have yet to fully research whether the theory put forth in this post’s title is true, however, I think the below image points to it being the case more often than not.

If you happen to come across any images that disprove the theory — that is, ones depicting sexy women without armadillos in the background — please send them my way.

[Hawtness.com]

Strangeness, previously:

• Half-man, half-sheep, all sexy
• A inexplicably gendered stop sign
• Crazy rich lady with semi-obscured greyhound
• Sex crime dinner set
• Spicy bottom, sexually suggestive top
  

Sex Bug

In short: one of the stranger things I’ve seen in a long time.

Slightly longer: In the process of putting together the big post, I stumbled across this, which is apparently a cartoon show tie-in to the Adventure Island games, only mysteriously centered on the bee equivalent of a Playboy Bunny. I know nothing of this. I’m not even sure whether the related game came before the cartoon show or after. And although I initially wanted to know more about it — like, for example, whether the title was Takahashi Meijin no Bugutte Honey or Takahashi Meijin no Bug-tte Honey, both of which seem to mean Master Takahashi’ Honey the Bug — I eventually just decided to take a pass on this one and make up what I thought it was about.

My take: An evil bee lady magically kidnaps children to a place where they have to ride skateboards on a stroke-inducing epilepsy landscape. Bee lady prevents a large but somewhat effeminate dinosaur from rescuing the children, mostly because she plans to use her inappropriate sexiness as a means to implant them with eggs. In all, a daring but ahead-of-its-time foray into children’s fantasy horror, remembered mostly today on account of its theme song.