The Ides of Drew

Of everything I've done since starting at my current job, I'd have to say my creation of a CD exchange club ranks among the greater accomplishments. It works as follows: Each member has a month on which he or she must compile a mix CD, make copies for everybody in the group and distribute them before that month finishes and then legally enjoy them in the privacy of their own home, before praying to Protestant God and saluting Old Glory. Yes, it's a little effort when you're month rolls around, but everybody else need only to sit back and graciously accept the new music.

My month was last month. I wasn't going to bother mentioning it here, but today I stumbled upon this post on the blog Slowly Going Bald, which demonstrates a handy way of legally sharing a mix CD by making it simple for readers to access the iTunes store and pick up any given song.

Thus, I'm proud to present The Ides of Drew, or what I listen to that I didn't think would make my coworkers think less of me. Clink on the iTunes link to take any of the songs for a test drive. If you want it for your own, you still have to buy it, of course. But this makes it all a bit more accessible.

1. "Too Drunk to Dream" by Magnetic Fields

This is the from the Fields album that came out a few months ago. Feel happy-sad!

2. "Out of Zone" by Marbles

I really like The Apples In Stereo. They represent everything I love about music and I feel like they're whole aesthetic is spot-on. Marbles is a kinda-sorta side project that, unless I'm mistaken, existed before the Apples in Stereo but was released much later.

3. "Cherry Tree" by Grand National

I also like anything that you can dance to that defies most of the characteristics of what you'd call "dance music."

4. "Bonnie and Clyde" by Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot

I don't speak French, but I still like this song. Highlights: That weird background instrument that kind of sounds like a person hiccupping, Brigitte's inability to pronounce "Bonnie" correctly, Serge's use of "ka-tick-ka-tick-ka-tick" to represent the sound of gun fire.

5. "I Hear the Bells" by Mike Doughty

I used to really liked that band Soul Coughing. It doesn't exist anymore, but the lead singer still does cool stuff. This song was featured in an episode of Veronica Mars, and for whatever reason I picture the girl singing back-up being Veronica Mars.

6. "Helena Won't Get Stoned" by Tarkio

The lead singer of the Decemberists, pre-Decemberists, I think.

7. "Is It True?" by Miss Ludella Black

As near as I know, this singer is totally contemporary, but just sounds every bit like she's four decades old. That's a good thing.

8. "Lady Bird" by Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazlewood

I think Lee Hazlewood is good, and not in a kitschy, ironic way. I think this the best of his duets with Nancy.

9. "Lotion" by The Greens Keepers

A strange, dark little number that nonetheless has a dance beat. It takes a memorable line from Silence of the Lambs and makes it… different… and creepier.

10. "Rainfall" by The Apples in Stereo

My favorite song for, like, two years.

11. "Empire City" by Bishop Allen

Upbeat and strange.

12. "Wet and Rusting" by Menomena

Not so upbeat, but very pretty.

13. "Oh My" by Office

I kind of hate this band for having the name "Office" when a TV show called The Office is existent and funny and well-known. But this sing is pretty damn good.

14. "I Did What I Did for Maria" by Tony Christie

A spirited, Tom Jones-style ballad that justifies murder.

15. "Autobahn" by Karate

I know nothing about this song. I downloaded it back in the glory days of Audiogalaxy. It's likely mislabeled, and that's probably why I can't find it on iTunes. Hence the lack of link.

16. "Harmony" by The Clinic

I used to love this bad. Then I hated them. Now I love them again. Their music sounds like a children's lullaby and the theme from Halloween had a baby. They wear surgical masks over their mouths when they play. Even the guy on clarinet.

17. "Dangle" by Daylight Titans

A fairly unknown band that's scored a few hits by being on movie and TV show soundtracks. I blogged about them once, and the lead singer wrote me an email to thank me. I thought that was nice. Now offering them to you.

18. "Let Me Take Your Photo" by The Speedies

Don't hold the fact that this was in a photo printer ad against this song.

19. "L'Aventurier" by Nada Surf

Again, I don't speak French. I know — weird that I put two on this album. The only lyric I can pick out in this is "Jack Kerouac." (Also, until I looked it up on iTunes just now, I thought the song was called "Indochine." It's actually a cover of a song by the group Indochine. Things you learn.)

20. "Boner" by Grand National

More dance-y goodness. Ignore the fact that this song is called "Boner."

21. "Magic" by Marbles

A very short, very good song.

22. "Africa" by The Gaylads

First, I don't like reggae, in general. But these guys are an old, old reggae band who do some way cool stuff. Second, seeing as how they're an old, old reggae band, I don't think the band name "Gaylad" is meant the way most modern ears would hear it.

23. "High Art, Local News" by The New Pornographers

Is it corny that I put this on here? I like this song.

That was my contribution, anyway. In case you're interested in sharing with your friends what CDs you've been burning, the little cajigger that makes the link to the iTunes store can be found here. Too bad neither version of "L'Aventurier" exists on iTunes. Here's YouTube versions of both.

The original by Indochine:

And the cover by Nada Surf:

The Terror of Secret Santas

More dumping upon the holidays, this time in print.

The Terror of Secret Santas

You wouldn’t know it by looking at Santa Barbara’s snowless skies, but it’s time for nog and wassail and all those other antiquated words associated with the holidays. For me, this time of year brings a very particular source of stress: the office Secret Santa gift exchange. Though I like the concept, I feel like the process of thinking of a gift for someone creates the awkward situation of reducing everything I know about that person down to a single object.

Is it in bad taste, for example, to give my copy editor a new pack of red pens? She’d use it, theoretically, but she could also take the offering as a sign that I see her as red ink-streaking no-no machine. (I don’t.) Would it imply too much, hypothetically, to give a desk-organizer? Hand sanitizer? A thesaurus? A bib? A haircut coupon? A one-way plane ticket? An appointment with a therapist? A lesson in how to use the word count function? Even the less critical Secret Santa gifts can still be awkward. “Hi. I remember you wore a hat to work once … so I bought you another hat.”

My office suggests a $10 cap on presents, but even that can cause problems. What if, for example, the perfect present costs $25? Would I be showing up my coworkers who all obediently bought $9.99 items? And what if I receive the expensive gift from the person who drew my name? (Like the one-way plane ticket.) Should I feel like a cheapskate by comparison?

Fortunately for me, my intended recipient has a significant other, so I have a source to go to for suggestions and vetoes. I now have to worry less about giving something that the recipient is (a) allergic to, (b) experienced childhood trauma from, or (c) already has. But for many Secret Santas out there, the moment of truth is looming ever closer: When the giftees unwraps their presents and the givers must attempt to read the giftees' expressions, are those forced smiles or genuine ones on their faces as they gazes upon their new hat?

The funny part here — well, it's actually not funny — is that I really did draw my copy editor, Palmer and really did give her a red pen. I also gave her a gift certificate to a store she reputedly likes for exactly $10.01 — meaning that I care enough to exceed the limit but not so much so that I showed everybody else up. As a bonus present sidecar ride-along element, I also burned her a CD that I hope Palmer doesn't hate. I'm most proud of the cover art.

Holiday puns.

The Can-Do Girl

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Moe, the girl who survived a kangaroo attack in Sydney and whose Independence Day arrival back in California was celebrated by me with eye-puss fireworks, has asked me to burn her CDs of music I listened to during the period in which she was gone. I have made three CDs, each burned by theme. These are the CDs. They represent what I've been listening to listening to for the last year and a half or so.

MOE CAN DANCE

1. Bees - "Chicken Payback"
2. Chromeo - "Needy Girl"
3. Le Tigre - "I'm So Excited"
4. Stephen Malkmus - "Kindling for the Master"
5. Orange Juice - "Blokes on 45"
6. Stellastarr* - "My Coco"
7. Grand National - "Cherry Tree"
8. The Slits - "I Heard It Through the Grapevine"
9. Goldfrapp - "Satin Chic"
10. The Greens Keepers - "Lotion"
11. DataRock - "Computer Camp Love"
12. Professor Murder - "Free Stress Test"
13. CSS - "Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above"
14. CSS - "Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex"
15. April March - "Chick Habit"
16. Of Montreal - "A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger"
17. Architecture in Helsinki - "Do the Whirlwind"
18. Apples in Stereo - "Same Old Drag"
19. I Am the World Trade Center - "Love Tragedy"

MOE CAN THINK

1. Animal Collective - "Leaf House"
2. The Magnetic Fields - "When My Boy Walks Down the Street"
3. RJD2 - "Smoke and Mirrors"
4. Eisley - "Telescope Eyes"
5. Andrew Bird - "Skin Is, My"
6. Teenage Fanclub - "Cells"
7. Belle and Sebastian - "Meat and Potatoes"
8. Mike Doughty - "I Hear the Bells"
9. The Presets - "The Girl and the Sea"
10. Neko Case - "Margaret vs. Pauline"
11. Mates of State - "Along for Ride"
12. The Knife - "Heartbeats"
13. The Ditty Bops - "Short Stacks"
14. Bill Callahan - "A Man Needs a Woman or a Man to Be a Man"
15. Menomena - "Wet and Rusting"
16. Klaxons - "Gravity's Rainbow"
17. The Decemberists - "Mariner's Revenge Song"
18. The Good, The Bad and the Queen - "History Song"
19. The Polyphonic Spree - "Lithium"

MOE CAN ROCK

1. The Fiery Furnaces - "I Lost My Dog"
2. Louis XIV - "God Killed the Queen"
3. Spoon - "I Turn My Camera On"
4. The Coral - "Pass It On"
5. The Replacements - "Alex Chilton"
6. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - "Me and Mia"
7. Need New Body - "Show Me Your Heart"
8. Aqueduct - "Growing Up With GNR"
9. Nada Surf - "Indochine"
10. Bishop Allen - "Empire City"
11. The New Pornographers - "The Jessica Numbers"
12. The New Pornographers - "High Art, Local News"
13. The Marbles - "Magic"
14. The Features - "The Idea of Growing Old"
15. Dogs Die in Hot Cars - "Lounger"
16. Dogs Die in Hot Cars - "Godhopping"
17. The Decemberists - "The Sporting Line"
18. M. Ward - "Right in the Head"
19. Cold War Kids - "Hang Me Up to Dry"
20. Amy Winehouse - "You Know I'm No Good"
21. The White Stripes - "Icky Thump"

Musica Geodesica

A CD that I just burned.

1. Goldfrapp - "Train"
2. Chromeo - "Rage!"
3. E.G. Daily - "Mind Over Matter"
4. 5.6.7.8's - "I Walk Like Jayne Mansfield"
5. Electric Light Orchestra - "Mr. Blue Sky"
6. Luscious Jackson - "Ladyfingers"
7. Mohammed Rafi - "Jaan Pehechan Ho"
8. Julee Cruie - "Artificial World"
9. Broadcast - "The Book Lovers"
10. Captain Beefheart - "Her Eyes Are Blue a Million Miles"
11. Icicle Works - "Birds Fly"
12. Funki Porcini - "Sixteen Megatons"
13. Pristeens - "Beat You Up"
14. Grand Funk Railroad - "The Locomotion"
15. Brothers Johnson - "Strawberry Letter 22"
16. Electric Six - "Improper Dancing"
17. Castaways - "Liar Liar"
18. Clinic - "Welcome"
19. Aneka - "Japanese Boy"
20. Myrtle Hilo - "Lover's Prayer"

And I've mentioned Myrtle Hilo, Hawaii's singing cab driver, before in this journal. I haven't listened to her song since summer until today and I still think it's weirdly moving. The lyrics are simple but I think it might be the my favorite long song. So here again are those lyrics.

I do believe the lord above
Created you for me to love
He picked me out from all the rest
Because he knew I'd love you best
I once had a heart that was true
But now it's gone from me to you
Take care of it as I have done
For you have two and I have none
[something indecipherable about heaven]
I'll put your name on a golden spell
If you're not there by judgment day
I'll kow you went the other way
I'll give the angels back their wings
Their golden harps and all those things
And just to prove my love is true
I'll go hell to be with you

I dunno. Something about being willing to go to hell — that's to hell, not through hell — just for love is beautiful. Or horrible. I can't tell and I like that. And I like how casually she throws it into the song. It's nothing. Hell's nothing.