Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The Donner

Yesterday, Madonna turned 58 years old. She was born in 1958, and it’s been 58 years since that day. People posted about it on Facebook and Twitter, and it reminded me that I have no attachment to Madonna, especially not in the way a lot of gay dudes do. So I wrote the below little nothing on Facebook about that particular thing. I’ve decided I liked it enough to post here, just in case there’s another gay guy out there who feels weird that he doesn’t feel whatever magic most guys seem to, and who maybe needs to verbalize a reason for why not having memorized her entire catalogue doesn’t necessarily make you a hater.

— What do you think about [specific Madonna reference]?
— It’s, uh, good.
— Well then what do you think about [more obscure Madonna reference]?
— I… don’t know. I’m actually not the biggest Madonna fan in the world.
— [gay gasp]
— It’s not like I actively dislike her or anything. She just hasn’t played the big role in my life that she’s played in a lot of other guys’ lives, you know?
— [gay inhale]
— Ask me about Cyndi Lauper, and we’re good to go.
— [gay sputtering]
— But it’s not like I don’t think she’s important. I mean, Madonna played a huge role in changing music and pop culture in general, and even if you’re not into her music, you can’t deny that she’s made a bigger impact than most other people ever have, and that includes helping bring about music that I do like.
— [gay grimace]
— Also, I know she did a lot for gay visibility back in the day, so that’s a huge deal too.
— [gay finger-waving]
— And given that she did that, I thinks it’s weird how some people who have her whole catalogue memorized are also the first to drag her through the mud about her appearance and her age and all that, especially given that she looks pretty good for a 58-year-old. That always seemed like a paradox to me, or at least a weird situation where her appearance takes precedence over everything else she’s done.
— [gay gagging]
— Also I don’t like awards shows.
— [gay fainting]
— [sprouts eagle wings and flies into the sunset]


  1. I really don't understand the fascination with her that so many gay men I know have. One friend, who almost literally posts about her weekly, once complained about how often people were posting and raving about Adele. When I pointed out that he was being a little hypocritical, with how often he does the same over Madonna, he just didn't get the connection.

    Then again, I don't understand diva worship in general in gay culture. Yes, these women are amazing and talented and a lot have helped us gays in the fight for our rights. But you'd think it was the second coming of Christ the way some men act when they find out their diva is coming to town.

    Mind you, I'd be freaking out if Nine Inch Nails came to town, so I really have no right to be snarky about it all ;)

  2. Totally get where you both a coming from. A little over a year ago I finally got to see "X" live in concert and it was way cool.

  3. I'm the same way about Lady Gaga, though she has far fewer accolades in support of her, and there are several things about her I actually do dislike. Though I have to say, despite how many gay guys love her, I encounter a few who, like me, do not, and that's more than I expected.

    Madonna has way more of my respect, even if I'm not flipping out about her the way some guys are.

  4. Exactly my thoughts on all the "Chainsmokers" music hype! It is getting pretty annoying.

  5. I'm obsessed with the recently deceased Victoria Wood who never really did a lot for the gays but she was a hilarious somewhat-Raunchy British woman.

    I really never latched onto a proper singer, I guess if you pressed me to it I know more about Cathy Griffin than I should admit to but I never got too much into idol worship at all. (Also did she did or was it just her career?)

    Maybe because I'm younger and I remember the awkward comeback Madonna had more than her original run. She's doing well now and I don't hold an awkward transition against her and kudos that she did it in her 40's but that doesn't mean I have a connection to her.

    And I certainly have no connection to Lady Gaga.

    Usually I get out of Diva talk by arguing that so-and-so "is not a diva, she's a goddess" and then I do a sassy snap and everyone laughs and then they offer me wine even though I'm not a huge wine guy and then I have to explain that and...

    Ugh who decided there was a right way to be gay?