Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Awful You

Of all that I learned in college, I’d have to say that one of the most valuable things would be the knowledge that your roommate’s girlfriend won’t appreciate your story about how you were walking across campus and thought for a second that she had just completely let herself go before you realized that it was actually just an unattractive lookalike, shambling across campus all messy and limpy yet somehow still suggesting this girl you kind of know from awkward bathroom run-ins post-sex (yours, theirs). As improbably as it may seem, she will take offense to the news that a dumpy version of her (dumpelganger) exists, even though you continue to point out that by comparison she now looks that much prettier.

I wonder what happened to her. We didn’t keep in touch.

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