Moon Sammy

It may be the yuletide, but there's fairly little Christmasy about the ways people have recently been finding my blog.

• robotic techno music
• "whore shanty" (Number one hit!)
• cartoon mushroom pictures
• similarities between nurse and waitress
• the office googi googi
• Trouble cougar (Number one hit!)
• paranormal activity, what is the demon? (That would be the bad thing that causes all the awful things to happen.)
• how to pronounce name sneed
• presented by bamboo zerz
• boob english derivative (Derivatives of the English word boob? Or just derivative English boobs?)
• Krystal loincloth sale (Does not sound comfortable.)
• nintendo characters inspired off real people like Mario Segali or John Kirby
• Good name for vampire cereal (I caught you trying to use Google to do your work, General Mills marketing rep.)
• sentence for shooting into an occupied dwelling in va (I caught you trying to use Google to do your work, assistant district attorney in Virginia.)
• cornrow hair styles (I caught you trying to use Google to do your work, lady in Jamaica who does college girls' hair on spring break.)
• song about child abuse with micah
• best name to call a video game character (Financially speaking, I would guess Mario.)
• list of video game protagonists with wings kid icarus, legacy of kain
• what's the difference between the old simpsons intro and the new one?
• meaning of colored dots on the back of yoplait (It means you got the one poison Yoplait.)
• how do you pronounce tergiversate (Not very often.)
• how do you make a cereal box in microsoft publisher 2003
• what do etymologies appear in? (Language.)
• picture of small beige bugs in cereal box
• "SUPER MARIO BROS 2" TURNIP PUMPKIN
• vocabulary of nerds
• sea cows, the queen of all (And, if she existed, that is how her name might appear in the phone book or an index of some sort.)
• arby's commerical home invasion
• how false teeth are made
• princess rosalina dress up games
• what is mean delicioso (I want to meet the person who Googled this. I want to have a conversation with him, record it, and reproduce it on this blog verbatim.)
• muppets skit on the moon (Gets much better results than something that could be formed by changing one single letter in the original search term.)
• Barbary Fig tree: what eats them?
• Thank You Tell That I See What Was There Now We Have A Yellow Hangy And A Blue Hangy

Of note, roughly a third of search terms that led to this blog in the past week and a half involved Top Chef judge Gail Simmons — and often some part of her body and the desire to determine how big or attractive said part is. Some outliers:

• did gail simmons get a boob job
• who is gail simmons bitch (This one may be lacking a comma. It may also be an answer for a very rude version of Jeopardy!)
• what does gail simmons' husband do (I would guess that Mr. Gail primarily watches Top Chef and makes comments about how Padma is not as attractive as she is purported to be.)

Something else I learned in this round up of search terms? Some people actually do use Bing. Who knew?