Monday, August 10, 2009

Candyman Messiah

Here is a list of things that may possibly distract you on this fine Monday.

Ben Schott, of Schott’s Miscellany fame, reintroduces the world to the complex codeword system once employed by telegraph writers and readers. Englued Chaser, for example, translates to “Do not exasperate the laboring classes.” (Via Kottke.)

Promotional art emerges for the weird-ass, dystopic steampunk Disney video game, which we’re calling Epic Mickey for the time being. Weird stuff. It’s the first time I’ve cared about a Disney video game since I was a kid. Ever wonder what a member of the Country Bear Jamboree might look like post-apocalypse?

Leonard Cohen asks people to stop covering “Hallelujah.”

Starshine advises parents on how to keep their kids from smoking pot: Light up yourself.

You Can Make It Up: “First thing in the morning, Jon Gosselin cracked open a Diet Red Bull and ironed his favorite Ed Hardy shirt. It had a tiger made out of barbed wire fucking a dolphin in the mouth in the center of a fireball shaped like a yin-yang symbol. It was his formal shirt, for special occasions, and when it was pressed, he sprayed it down with Axe Kilo and he put it on with his formal cargo shorts, and his formal wrap-around Oakleys.”

George recounts one of the more awkward instances of live theater that I’ve ever heard.

If your child makes it to eighteen, it will be a miracle.

Pajiba asks for readers’ suggestions for best and worst movie character names.

We Love You So, the blog promoting Spike Jonez’s Where the Wild Things Are, makes the mistake of endorsing one of the worst food products in history: the Grāpple, which, for the uninitiated, is a red apple soaked in grape flavor.

Homer Simpson’s 25 most loved inanimate objects that are not food.

Burger King ad featuring the Hindu goddess Lakshmi riding a ham sandwich will likely offend Hindus, says Gawker. I say it’s likely to make Americans think of Carl’s Jr. ads.

The ten most difficult Encyclopedia Brown mysteries.

Harvey Danger broke up last month. Hey everyone, remember Harvey Danger?

Topless Robot’s list of disturbingly adult scenarios in cartoon, which I can happily report does not the episode of Captain Planet were Linka the Russian girl becomes addicted to drugs and then her cousin dies. Happy Saturday morning!

And, finally, a rather disturbing scene from the film The Loved One, an adaptation of an Evelyn Waugh book about the funeral industry. (via PCL Link Dump.)


  1. Thanks for the shout out, Drew.

    Oh, and I've bogged about, but never posted, that "Loved One" clip.

  2. I would imagine that the post-apocalyptic Country Bears would look much the same as they do now. Except they'll be twice as big and totally ravenous.