Friday, February 13, 2009

Surrealist Personality Quiz

One: What woodland animals do your kitchen appliances most often transform into?

Two: Do you think the man who lives in your wallpaper is a benevolent? Why or why not?

Three: How would you chose to retaliate if trees were attempting to do you physical harm?

Four: While at holiday dinner, your family turns into ghosts and begin hovering about the room. What of your body parts do they eat first?

Five: Agree or disagree: Beavers often appear lazy.

Six: You’re playing Scrabble. You note that the words on the board seem to be giving you vague instructions. “RETURN.” “MOTHER.” “WATERFALL.” “PLACE.” “CREMATE.” But — oh no! — before you can decide whether to obey or not, you’re pulled into the Scrabble board, which feels like pudding skin as you pass through to a world in which humans are subservient to the letters tiles, with Z and Q reigning over the land as king and queen. The question is this: Do you submit to rule by these least-used letters or would you join with A, T, L and S in a planned mutiny?

Seven: When mystical circumstances permit others to enter your dreams, do you like it?

Eight: The vastness of your despair manifests in an actual desert in the world around you. Do you melt into the sand or do you become one with the wind that howls over the cliffs above, crying “ooooooh!” as you swoop and twirl in the air?

Nine: Upon dropping a deck of cards onto the ground, the Queen of Spades springs forth, looking regal and standing a good head taller than you. How does she sound?
a) Finnish
b) Angry
c) Like Nancy Pelosi
d) A and B
e) Like she’s talking in a made-up space language
Ten: Your hands are lobster claws.


  1. Anonymous8:46 AM

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