Monday, February 23, 2009

Sounding Just as Good Coming From Padma

With only one episode left in the current run of Top Chef, Padma Lakshmi’s line to departing contestants means more than ever: “Please pack your knives and go.” However, recent idle conversation created variants, which might suit Lakshmi if she’s looking into spin-off opportunities:

For Top Baked Potato Chef: “Please pack your chives and go.”

For Top Beekeeper: “Please pack your hives and go.”

For Top Reincarnationist: “Please pack your lives and go.”

For Top Polygamist: “Please pack your wives and go.”

For Top Abusive Polyamorist: “Please smack your guys and go.”

For Top Self-Mutilator: “Please hack your thighs and go.”

For Top Dadaist Chef: “Geese attack your pies and glow.”

For Top… Is Padma Lakshmi Breaking Up With Me and Choosing Strange Words To Do It?: “Please sack your lies and go.”

For Top Punster: Please pack your contrive…d attempts at wordplay and go.”

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