Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bronze State at Best

My dear fellow Californians who have reason to read this blog: Have any of you ever heard our state song? It’s not “California, Here I Come.” It’s something far worse. In fact, it’s likely one of the worst songs I’ve ever head reason to read the lyrics to —something befitting a far suckier state than California.

Read the lyrics to “I Love You, California,” by the illustrious F.B. Silverwood:
I love you, California; you’re the greatest state of all.
I love you in the winter, summer, spring and in the fall.
I love your fertile valleys; your dear mountains I adore.
I love your grand old ocean and I love her rugged shore.
Where the snow crowned Golden Sierras
Keep their watch o’er the valleys bloom,
It is there I would be in our land by the sea,
Every breeze bearing rich perfume.
It is here nature gives of her rarest. It is Home Sweet Home to me,
And I know when I die I shall breathe my last sigh
For my sunny California.
I love your red-wood forests - love your fields of yellow grain.
I love your summer breezes and I love your winter rain.
I love you, land of flowers; land of honey, fruit and wine.
I love you, California; you have won this heart of mine.
{ Chorus }
I love your old gray Missions, love your vineyards stretching far.
I love you, California, with your Golden Gate ajar.
I love your purple sun-sets, love your skies of azure blue.
I love you, California; I just can’t help loving you.
{ Chorus }
I love you, Catalina; you are very dear to me.
I love you, Tamalpais, and I love Yosemite.
I love you, Land of Sunshine; half your beauties are untold.
I loved you in my childhood, and I’ll love you when I’m old.
Seriously, what the hell?

I’d post a YouTube clip, but I couldn’t find one online, likely because no one has bothered to sing “California, I Love You” since video technology was invented. I mean, the theme to The O.C. would be better than this crap.

This is by far the worst thing that’s happened to California ever.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:53 AM

    You, uh, you wanna turn the volume down and grit your teeth: video.
    There are others in the related videos, but I figure if I watched this through I get to subject others to it as well.