Movie- and TV-related:
- "Caught in a Celluloid Jam," in which the little sisters of 90s scream queens follow in bloodcaked footsteps
- "What the Fuck Is Wrong With Gail Simmons?" in which I think too much about Top Chef
- "Protagonist Does Not Actually Work in a Factory," my review of Factory Girl
- "Gruesome Friday," my review of Grindhouse
- "Death Comes for the Blonde," a retrospective of dead blondes in film and TV
- "Holy Smoke," my review of the tragically terrible schlock movie Evilspeak
- "Rhapsody in Yellow," my look at The Simpsons and The Simpsons Movie
- "A Fistful of Quarters," my review of King of Kong
- "Pop Culture Meltdown," my review of Southland Tales
- "Not Quite the World Warrior," in which Street Fighter II names change for the better from Japan to the United States
- "Penguin Kun Wars," in which I curse the Japanese and their strange video games
- "The Virgin With Green Hair," in which I overthink how Japanese people see Greek mythology
- "Vagina Dentata in the Mushroom Kingdom"
- "Orudo Hikori," where I try to understand why Andrew Jackson fights samurai
- "Out-of-the-Ordinary Toast," which concerns the myriad names for the egg-in-a-nest
- "Naming Conventions in 'Arrested Development,'" where I try to explain Bob Loblaw
- "The Dust Little Mermain," in which I make connections that should not be between Disneyana and Futurama
- "Whatever Happened to Space Xena?" ponders our former, would-be pseudo planet
- "Sa-Yemen," in which a man thinks my friend Sanam is his former daughter
- "Kaipo Special in Electric Blue," in which I look at the strangeness that is blue raspberry
- "Belated Christmas Present From Sanam," in which I explain the difference between anteaters and aardvarks
- "Little House on the Kanto Plains," in which I marvel at the fact that an anime adaptation of Little House on the Prairie exists
- "LampSex: A Story Told in Nine Paragraphs"
- "Gloria's Allegedly Strange Personal Life," in which I look too closely at Laura Branigan's hit
- "Phaedra Is My Name," in which I try to make sense of "Some Velvet Morning"
- "Tales from the Coachella Photo Pit"
- "When Frank Black Talks, You Listen, Dammit," my review of a Frank Black/Black Francis show in Santa Barbara
- "The Etymology Round-Up, Part Three," in which exclamation points look like vaginas
- "Fucking the Subjunctive," which tries to explain why "fuck you" is worse than you think
- "Man Waitress and Male Aviatrix," or why English is just so hateful
- "Spice and Exclamation," in which people get way too excited about garlic
- "Where the Sidewalk Ends," in which a war protest almost goes too far
- "A Pick-Up Truck and the Devil's Eyes," in which I resemble various celebrities
- "Golden Hour on the Miracle Mile," from when I couldn't decide whether to hate L.A.
- "Sex Flowers," otherwise known as Santa Barbara Orchid Show orchids
- "My Elastic Eye," in which unnatural colors ooze from my faceholes
- "Small Feet, Big Steps," on taking a dog to the beach
- "The Nine Faces of Drew"
- "Since U Put UR Finger Up My Nose," in which I am nasally assaulted at a bar
- "The Last Four Days, in Cell Phone Pictures"
- "Two Strange Dreams About Dogs"
- "Unseen California" and "Minor Earth Major Sky," both about my train trip
- "Upon Finding a Photo in the Kitchen Drawer"
nice. do I get royalties?
ReplyDeletealso, the term "breast grime" got quite a few laughs that night. so your new year's pain wasn't all for naught.
On breast grime: If only I had thought to have Spencer snap a photo of the possible grime.
ReplyDeleteOn royalties: Well gee, I'd link to your blog as payment, but you're all "No! Don't read my blog! I'm all special!"