Whiskered Eggplant

The best of September 2007, according to the Back of the Cereal Box.

• "The Girls With the Cellpohane Chests," in which strange children's names are listed
  
• "Old Hickory (Or, 'Orudo Hikori')," in which Andrew Jackson stars in a video game
  
• "The Sound of a Potato Hitting the Floor," in which a friend appears in a YouTube sensation
  
• "Princess Hat for Monkey," in which I recall trying to embarrass Kristen
• "A Fistful of Quarters," in which I review The King of Kong
  
• "Courtroom Sketches," in which I pass time during the trial-that-took-a-century
  
• "Snug as a Tamandua in a Mop Bucket," in which the anteaters return
  
• "Bad Gutless Purse," in which my readership is scrutinized
  
• "Marion Barfs," in which some long-treasured MP3s get the axe
  
• "Vagina Dentata in the Mushroom Kingdom," in which I read too much into the Freudian imagery of Super Mario Bros.
  
• "My Sweet Sun Bear," in which weird animals like the dumbo octopus are praised
  
• "Belated Christmas Present From Sanam," in which I explain the differences between the anteater and the aardvark.