Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Stripper Convention

MySpace delivers emails to me whenever anyone attempts to add me as a friend. Each email has the subject line "[INSERT NAME HERE ] would like to be added as one of your friends!" Now, through much training, I've learned to identify spammy, porny, fakey, booby MySpace add bots just by virtue of their names, nearly all of which could be considered that all-to-great name category I like to call "slut names."

Henceforth, I will no longer be accepting friend adds from anyone named the following:
  • Honey
  • Lola
  • Peaches
  • Tina
  • Sweetie
  • Sweetcheeks
  • Candy
  • Suzi
  • Pinkie
  • Kissy
  • Tanya
  • Hot Pantz
  • Barbie
  • Vanessa
  • Tessa
  • Kitty
  • Bambi
  • Fawn
  • Lulu
  • Lina
  • Mina
  • Katya
  • Dascha
  • Nini
  • Fifi
  • Bibi
  • Bebe
  • Didi
  • Dede
  • Cham-Cham
  • Taystee
  • Tila Tequila
  • Any member of the clan Tequila, for that matter
  • Jade
  • Bubbles
  • Titania
  • Jezzie
  • Anything punctuated with hearts
Dr. Honey Goldschmitt of the Santa Barbara Arts Commission, my apologies in advance.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad to know that Myspace perpetuates the "Please buy a Russian whore bride" stereotype, with its Nadyas and Katyas and Tanyas and Daschas. They should team up with Natasha from Top Model and make an entire nation's female population look like idiots.