Bridge Key

The best of March, 2007, according to the Back of the Cereal Box:

• The results of my Craigslist experiment in "The Urban Milkwoman Project, Part Two"
• Trying to penetrate Lee Hazlewood's seemingly meaningless lyrics to "Some Velvet Morning" in "Phaedra Is My Name"
• Despite all appearances, Brenda Starr has not, in fact, arrived in Santa Barbara in "Lady Reporter"
• The best news lede ever in "Sweetheart, Curves Can Kill"
• Unfortunate Google image searches in "Search for the Stain"
• The world's cutest anteater in "The Backpack"
• Family Guy makes enemies with Carol Burnett in "Funny Lady Hates Funny Show"
• The best and most genital-like of the annual Santa Barbara Orchid Show in "Sex Flowers"
• MySpace friend request trends and suspicious names in "Stripper Convention"
• Golden Girls, Dynasty and Designing Women lose their sanity in "Sweetie, Take It Hot"
• A first-ever printing of random Soul Coughing lyrics in "These Names Underlined"
• Why Nikki and Paolo's deaths on Lost were for the best in "Exposé"
• The Turtles, lyrics and my confusion in "Too Many Elenores"