Friday, February 09, 2007

An Open Letter to Mark Batalla

Dear Mark,

Upon having read today’s letter to the editor criticizing your tenure as art director at the Daily Nexus, I have to say that you are, in fact, the worst person I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. To hear that you have prevented an earnest comedienne from unleashing her potential upon her university peers saddens — nay, disgusts — me and should rightly do the same to anybody with an appreciation of either comedy or artistic doodlery. This woman has taken to snowmen in the way that Gary Larson popularized cows and frumpy hausfraus. And to think that you have attempted to stifle her creative voice, you who sit in his ivory tower of an artist’s chair and cast down upon others with derision and spite. Oh, Mr. Batalla, if I could but break free of the shackles of this foe we call linear time and travel back to the moment of your birth, I would do everything within my power to cram your squealing infantile form back inside, so that your reign of terror would never be wrought upon our fair planet. You, sir, have done a unfathomable disservice to yourself, the Daily Nexus readership, your peers and — perhaps most of all — the snowmen. Upon your hour of reckoning, you, Mark Batalla, will surely have much to answer for.

With the same slow burn as the guilt that no doubt must be eating away at your soul,

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, what's weird is she chose to send that letter now despite having applied last quarter. I really hope she gets over her loss because she certainly isn't the first artist I've indirectly led to giving up on life. There was the guy that could only draw dead Bill Cosbies, and there was the girl that could only draw abstract shapes, and there was the other guy that swore to start up an alternative comic anthology in response to not getting hired. Funny story, I actually tried to help that last guy out by sending over all the applicants that I wasn't interested in hiring as well. For some reason he continued to hate me. Maybe there's just something about me that gets people riled up. I'm thinking of changing my last name because there's no way I'm giving up Narya.