Saturday, December 31, 2005

This Monkey's Gone to Heaven

If Man is five and the Devil is six, then I'm writing this on the cusp of something important. I don't much feel like looking back in past New Year's Eve posts or even delving into the contents of 2005, so instead I'll mark the passing with a few commemorative lists.

The top 20 songs of 2005 (according to iTunes):
  1. Scissor Sisters - "Laura"
  2. The Bravery - "Hot Pursuit"
  3. Stephen Malkmus - "Kindling for the Master"
  4. Gorillaz - "Dirty Harry"
  5. Yaz - "Situation"
  6. Beck - "Bad Cartridge"
  7. Lee Hazlewood and Nancy Sinatra - "Some Velvet Morning"
  8. Soviet - "Candy Girl"
  9. Scissor Sisters - "The Skins"
  10. Electric Six - "Danger! High Voltage"
  11. The Flamin' Groovies - "Shake Some Action"
  12. Scissor Sisters - "Get It Get It"
  13. Gorillaz - "Dare"
  14. Electric Light Orchestra - "Turn to Stone"
  15. The Magnetic Fields - "I Thought You Were My Boyfriend"
  16. Modest Mouse - "I Came as a Rat"
  17. Spoon - "The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine"
  18. The's - "Ki-Kya Shout"
  19. Aimee Mann - "Pavolv's Bell
  20. Father Bingo - "Ginger Prince Is Not Shirley Temple"
The 20 most interesting photos (according to Flickr):
  1. The border collie, taken in my back yard
  2. The Squash Bird, from the San Benito County Fair
  3. "Prance Closer", the puking elk painting
  4. Me, at the world's largest Nintendo controller at the "I Am 8-Bit" show
  5. Train tracks near Goleta Beach
  6. Marcy's mouth, from the day we went up in Storke Tower
  7. Orange and first rain, taken in my back yard
  8. Rolly-pollies in the rotten fence at the Pasado House
  9. Dr. Suess trees, near Sands Beach
  10. A poppy, in the Pasado House backyard
  11. Grass and the sky, in a field near my house
  12. Pomegranate remains on my desk
  13. How I nearly killed myself on Cathedral Oaks
  14. Jill's hair up in Storke Tower
  15. The Pineapple Monkey, at the fair
  16. Kristen plays WarioWare
  17. Donkey noses, from the day Moe came to my house in Hollister
  18. The tiny Christmas tree
  19. The light and the barn
  20. Lauren and Mike at Coachella
The 20 most viewed blog posts of 2005 (according to
  1. "Moesko Island Lighthouse," which taught me that far too many people care about a fictional island in "The Ring"
  2. "We Are Young," which mentions a passenger androgyne, Pat Benatar and Mrs. Samurai.
  3. "From the Freezer to Believe Her," which introduces the blog of London Meg.
  4. "The Untold Coolness of Shirley the Loon," in which I spend too much time talking about a cartoon character that most of us had forgotten.
  5. "Don't Cock This One Up," which is a list of human body parts that double as verbs.
  6. "Symptoms," which I wrote post-concussion.
  7. "I'm a Cuckoo," in which I discuss the names of the Axe body spray varieties.
  8. "Why Roy G. Biv Ruined Everything," in which the word "indigo" is now illegible.
  9. "Meet the Muddlefoots," in which I again overthink cartoon waterfowl.
  10. "Meet Me at the Big Dragonfly," which features some Coachella photography.
  11. "Where Is Aunt Ruth?", which conflates Hillary's hair with that of a character from "Mulholland Drive."
  12. "Jill's Secret Double Life," in which I expose Jill's true hometown of Flods Knobs, Indiana.
  13. "My Revolutionary Cure for Cottonmouth," which details a young lady's discovery of her boyfriend's illiteracy, though the I suspect its popularity stems from people actually searching for a cure for cottonmouth.
  14. "The Demise of Sita and the Return of the Chihuahua Hive Mind," my abortive installment of my writing class's group story.
  15. "Alcohol-Devil-Rose-Saint-Fight," the relatively recent post about Nevada-tan and "The Hands Resist Him."
  16. "In the Sky," which seems to short to warrant anybody's attention.
  17. "Masturbation Narration: The Truth About Donovan's 'Mellow Yellow,'" which delivers precisely what it promises.
  18. "Looking Forward to Looking Back," which took me four months to explain.
  19. "The Z Word," in which I swear a lot.
  20. And finally "Remembering Sanam," which made Kristen think Sanam had actually died and which features a photo that makes me laugh every time I see it.
One more time, while the date-of-death still applies.


  1. Anonymous12:44 PM

    I may not have exacted my revenge in '05, but rest assured, it's still on its way.

  2. Your pictures make me happy. They also make me feel inferior and vain because whenever I play with a camera, I only take pictures of myself naked. But mostly they make me happy.