Tuesday, April 26, 2005

What I've Been Working For

New reporters are goofy. The best story I have so far about anything they've done involves the 69-cent lock-in fee A.S. Student Lobby was trying to get students to vote for in last week's election. I tell the new reporters to write catchy ledes, especially for stories people might not read otherwise. The guy we assigned to do the story wrote the following: "Normally when you hear about sixty-nine, you think of dick-to-mouth, mouth-to-puss fucking, but this A.S. Student Lobby is asking students for that much in a new quarterly lock-in fee." Or something like that. The last part actually escapes me, but I'm certain the original draft of the first part definitely used the phrase "dick-to-mouth, mouth-to-puss fucking." Not "pussy." "Puss." Yikes. When we asked him to re-write the lead, he came up with something along the lines of "Normally when you hear about sixty-nine, you think of simultaneous fellatio-cunnilingus, but this A.S. Student Lobby is asking students for that much in a new quarterly lock-in fee."

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