Friday, March 04, 2005

We Are Young

More rain. I feel like we should all grow gills to better deal with this water. In Santa Barbara, we usually prefer our water to wait for us obediently in the ocean.

While waiting at the last stop light on Los Carneros before the exit onto the 101, I noticed that a passenger in a car to my left was laughing at me. I felt it before I saw it and when I turned to see, I couldn't tell if this person was male or female. Mind you own business, you passenger androgyne.

This person of indeterminate gender was was laughing at me, I'm guessing, because I looked like I was talking to myself. When I see people driving by themselves and moving their lips in their empty cars, I usually assume they are singing. And though the radio was playing "Love Is a Battlefield," I honestly wasn't singing along. I was speaking out loud — to no one or to myself.

What I said to make the androgyne laugh:
It's not the first time, but I feel like I'm being pulled in a lot of different directions. It's not your fault and don't feel so bad — I actually kind of like it. I don't mind feeling like you and everyone else has a hook in me, tugging at me to come towards them. It's been this way for a while, and if I really hated it I guess I would have put a stop to it by now. Please don't stop pulling. I might forget you're there.More or less. I actually was saying this out loud, and though I'm sure the androgyne couldn't hear me, I think he or she was right to laugh. It's an odd thing to say, especially if no one but an empty styrofoam cup is around to hear it. Eventually, someone had to honk to tell me that the light had turned green. I'd failed to realize, even when the androgyne's car had sped past me.
The roads are slick again, but I'll give a ride to give who wants one. I don't really have anywhere to go, but I can promise you three things: I will not change lanes without properly signalling; I will not slam on the brakes without good reason; the soundtack to our roadtrip will be a most excellent and diverse collection drawn from the 80s, 90s and today.

No comments:

Post a Comment