Monday, November 01, 2004

No Rubber Hoses

I can take this latest development as a sign of mental instability or burgeoning perversion.

Somehow, amidst all the nasal passage-cleaning of this sinus infection which has recently made my life more interesting, I've realized that I kind of enjoy the sensation of pulling my nosehairs. And not just a gentle tug -- I'm talking about yanking those fuckers out entirely. It's a pain and then a release and it's altogether not completely odious. Quite possibly, this little philia grew out of my fondness for sneezing. I like to sneeze. It's fun. It's a chemical release. Maybe this nosehair think works along the same principles.

The biggest drawback to this, however, is that I find myself once or twice a day compelled to yank. If someone catches me mid-yank, I'm done for; they'll think I'm picking my nose, which I'm totally not. That's gross.

"No no no," I'll calmly explain to him or her or them. "You see, Bob and Lupe, I wasn't picking my nose at all. I was yanking out my nosehairs. I'm not weird and neither are you."

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