Saturday, November 22, 2003

Not to Mention the Robo-Ginas

The metal petals.
She-Bot Factoid Box
by Drewbot Mackietron

"Oh, those marvelous metal men!" But what about history's metal women? Too long have history's ladytrons stood in the shadows of their robo-brothers. Here's a look at the great women robots:
  • Robot precision experts or nympho golems? According to Greek myth, Hephaestus, god of fire and ugly, had two female assistants made entirely of gold.
  • Rosie, the Jetsons' live-in maid, set the standard for wide-framed, house-cleaning sassbots for years to come.
  • Vickie, the robo-daughter from '80s sitcom "Small Wonder." The role effectively killed the career of child actress Tiffany Brissette.
  • Futura, woman-turned robot of Fritz Lang's "Metropolis" and the aesthetic model for C-3PO.
  • Roll, the quizzically named female counterpart to video game icon Megaman.
  • The mojo-susceptible Fembots from the first "Austin Powers," led by Internet download queen Cindy Margolis.
  • April, the girlfriendbot who battled Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
  • Elita-1, Optimus Prime's girlfriend from "Transformers." Yeah, apparently Transformers have gender. And sex. God, what do they transform into when they have sex?
  • Anime goddess Motoko Kusanagi from "Ghost in the Shell." She did in 1995 what Carrie-Anne Moss got credit for in "The Matrix."
  • The T-X, the Terminator who most recently tried to kill John Connor. A leather-suited Kristanna Loken could stalk me any day.
  • Crushinator, the glamorous trash-compacting robot from "Futurama."
  • Lindsay Wagner from "The Bionic Woman." True, she's a cyborg. But come on - cyborgs aren't cool?
  • "Kill Bill" reminded us that Daryl Hannah is cool, but Hannah never kicked more ass than in 1982's "Blade Runner." She played Pris, the raccoon-makeup android.
  • The Borg Queen and Seven of Nine from "Star Trek." Nothing sexier than the word "Borg."
  • And of course, Olivia Newton-John.

Ka-chunk ka-chunk.

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