Monday, June 04, 2012

Owning It, I Guess

Well, some news:


But I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it. A lifetime of TV and movies have led me to believe that my thirtieth birthday should be some milestone, dreaded as it approaches and then, once passed, a means to mature into the kind of person who can make sound fiscal decisions and maybe varnish a deck. Only I don’t feel like that will happen and am therefore forced to acknowledge that TV and movies may have lied to me. The closest I’ve come to varnishing a deck was polishing my wooden floors with a substance that later turned out to be specifically not for floors because it makes them dangerously slippery.

Cartoon watching and video game-playing, meanwhile, continue into my third decade unabated.

17 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:09 AM

    omg you are an inspiration for all younger-than-thirty people

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    Replies
    1. Because I can afford a notepad, I'm guessing. Yes, it's a lofty goal.

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  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Then you can agree that June is the best month and the rest are mere sucka months.

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  3. Anonymous10:26 AM

    The last sentence is exactly what I hope to hear myself say when I turn 30.

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    Replies
    1. And thusly onto infinity.

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  4. You and me both, my friend.

    Many Happy Returns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Returns, yes -- to the treasure cave where I find the gold coins that make the next ten years exceedingly easy.

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  5. It's actually your fourth decade, assuming you started at zero like the rest of us. Happy etc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Despite your good intentions, this news is not helpful.

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  6. Happy birthday! I got chicken pox for my 30th birthday, which I think was my body's way of saying I wasn't done with childhood yet. I'm afraid to find out what it has in store for me when I turn 50 next year.

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    Replies
    1. You probably get superpowers at that point, I'm guessing. Or at least a badass salt-and-pepper beard.

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  7. Anonymous4:52 PM

    Well, get a drink of water.

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  8. A very happy birthday and a great third decade. it is really wonderful :D

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    Replies
    1. Is it the one where my life magically flies together?

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  9. Anonymous1:29 PM

    Happy birthday man! You're a mere 13 years older than me!

    -TheRedSnifit

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