Thursday, May 17, 2012

Beyond the Perils of Pauline

In 1914, actress Pearl White starred in the film serial The Perils of Pauline, which we all know today (whether we realize it or not and whether its accurate or not) as the thing that gives of that image of the silent film damsel tied to the train tracks by some mustachioed villain and about to be squished by an oncoming locomotive. White followed up The Perils of Pauline with a sequel series, The Exploits of Elaine, but the pattern ended there. I say this should have continued until the franchise was run into the ground in the following manner:

The Perils of Pauline

The Exploits of Elaine

The Hazards of Hazel

The Travails of Trixie

The Deeds of Deirdre

The Anecdotes of Adelaide

The Errands or Earline

The Bank Transactions of Bettina

The Squirrel Sightings of Silvia

The Dress Fittings of Dorcas

The Naps of Nadine

The Tedium of Teresa

The Jigsaw Puzzles of Jacaranda

The Catatonia of Camilla

The Aging of Agnes

The Stares of Starla (Who, It Turns Out, Was Dead the Whole Time)

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