Jenny Slate continues to do things, and, as such, has done something.
Well, I think it’s funny. In fact, in its two episodes so far, “Bestie x Bestie” has so damn near perfectly represented most of the things that make me laugh. I just want to give Jenny Slate and Gabe Liedman bottle after bottle of wine so I can watch them interact.
But enough about this particular Jenny Slate-related matter. I’m instead going to go on about how I like to hold Elisabeth Moss responsible for Jenny Slate not being on Saturday Night Live anymore. Here’s why. So Moss and Fred Armisen divorced, and like five seconds later the blogs reported that Armisen was dating Abby Elliott, who was on SNL before Slate started and is still on today. And that pisses me off, mostly because I can’t understand the logic behind it. Elliott seems nice and I really liked that impersonation of Brittany Murphy that they took offline after Murphy died, but Slate actually led sketches with her Tina Tina character, whom people seemed to like, while Elliott hasn’t led a sketch that I can remember. And the presumption that a few people made was that Elliott becoming Armisen’s girlfriend somehow saved her job but caused the elimination of Slate’s. So whatever — I will personally never know what happened.
But let’s say that’s what did happen, and it caused the wonderful, talented, funny voice-making Jenny Slate to only improve my life through the magic of online videos. Okay, then, how awesome is it to imagine Elisabeth Moss being responsible for this situation by virtue of her being this horrible, abusive monster wife that drove Fred into Abby’s arms? Like, picture her coming from the Mad Men set, changing out of her Peggy clothes and into sweats and a beater, and then just wrecking Fred as a person. Like, the whole thing — insulting his weight, spitting on the floor, throwing carefully prepared dinners against the wall, farting in his face when her rowdy friends come over to watch the game, making him call her “Don Draper” during relations, and pretty much whatever else you feel like imagining. I actually have this whole fiction in my head where Moss is Don, Armisen is Betty and Elliott is Henry Francis, but Armisen is still all broken inside because she listened in on his therapy sessions. (He cries during SNL ad breaks.) It goes without saying that in this little dream scenario, Slate is playing the part of Sally Draper, for no reason.
So that’s how I think it should have gone done, and that’s how I’ll be explaining it to anyone should the subject arise.
Oh, and by the way, don’t watch the video at work. (Swears.)