Saturday, September 25, 2010

What Happened to Kirby?

It shames me little to admit that I still receive emails from Nintendo about upcoming products that I may or may not be interested in. The gaming blogosphere actually keeps me informed of such happenings well in advance of these emails, but I still enjoy them — little candy-colored breaks during my day that remind me of the franchises that I so loved as a kid and (in many cases) still love today. Just this week, Nintendo sent out one about the first Wii to title starring Kirby, that pink puffball whose main attack against enemies is sucking them into his mouth.


Indeed, Nintendo, what did happen to Kirby? Did he take Viagra? Get a certain surgery to increase his manliness? (And if it’s the latter, should we be surprised, given that he can most easily be described with the words “pink puffball”?)

It’s no smutty joke, at least not intentionally, but still one must wonder why the Nintendo marketing team wouldn’t try to keep gamers’ minds from leaping straight into the gutter and wallowing in the filth therein.

Here’s the full image, by the way:


What at first glace would appear to be a humongo schlong is actually a shooting star — one of the iconic Kirby series items that seems to be making a reappearance in the new game, Kirby’s Epic Yarn Kotaku put it best when it dubbed the image “Kirby’s Epic Yard.” Bonus points for allowing me to feel like I’m not the only one who went there.

4 comments:

  1. Nopes, i thought the same thing. I was wondering how he would use his penis as a weapon, & the images of lasso enemies popped up :3

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  2. Never entered my mind. Maybe because I still equate Kirby with innocence.

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  3. My first thought is that it looks like he's peeing. I thought it's like "aw Kirby's turned into one of those rotten scoundrels that pees in the street after a hard night drinking" or something like that... that's what's happened to Kirby!

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  4. Two out of three ain't bad. The S: I would like to equate Kirby with innocence, but some things seem to blatantly penile to be innocent. (Life lesson.)

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