Get Ready for It, Pittsburgh!

What I sent in for the biographical “fun blurb” requested by my ten-year high school reunion committee.

NAME: Drew Mackie
SPOUSE’S NAME: Divorced
KIDS NAMES & AGES: Arbuckle (3) and Petunia Louise (6 months!)

FUN BLURB (or FLURB, if you will): After graduating with an English major from UC Santa Barbara, I have worked as a reporter, columnist and editor at various news outlets. I’m currently selling used shoes out of my van, and in May hope to travel to and live on a peanut-growing commune in Madagascar. As of 2007, I am no longer the titleholder for fastest whittler in North America, but I hope to reclaim it at the 2010 Whittle Off. (Get ready for it, Pittsburgh!) Oh, and I once saw Lacey Chabert at a Jiffy Lube and she told me I had pretty hands.

And no, I’m not going to the reunion. And yes, I am perfectly comfortably leaving this as my former classmates’ final impression of me.